Ingrid Goes West Page #6

"Have you tried these...

These new clothes are the best!"

"It's the best! It's the best!

It's the best!"

It's not the f***ing best.

It's f***ing exhausting.

You know what, I actually kind

of know what you mean.

When we were in Joshua tree,

she told me this secret,

and she told me

not to tell anyone.

But I walked in

on her telling Harley

the same, exact thing earlier.

What secret?

I mean, obviously,

don't tell her I'm telling you,

but, I guess,

she has a plan

to buy the house

next door to you guys,

and turn it into some

hotel slash store.

And she wants

to call it "desert door."

-Desert-- desert door?

-Yeah.

It's a reference to her favorite

book, you know, the deer park.

The deer park

is my favorite book.

Taylor's never even read it.

I miss the old Taylor.

Back when she first moved here.

She didn't know anybody.

She was like, this total

preppy, sorority chick.

Yeah.

I miss when it was

just the two of us.

I-- I'm sorry.

I don't mean to burden you.

-No, don't be sorry. It's okay.

-I'm just sh*t. I'm just...

It's not that I don't feel like,

i really...

Have anyone

that I can talk to...

-You know.

-Yeah.

Especially with f***ing

Nicky around.

Hey! Olga, come on in.

-Nose beer for the lady?

-I'm good.

Yoop, yoop, yoop, yoop, ugh!

-What's up?

-Nicky, where's my phone?

Huh, phone?

- Come on. I know you took it.

- Did you?

-You caught me!

--Give it back.

No, no.

Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay...

-Come on, just give it back.

-Don't...

Reach towards me.

Sit down.

You know, it's...

Really funny what you can

discover about someone

by just...

Going through their phone.

Oh, here.

Look, this is a...

A picture of you

in my sister's bathroom. Weird.

Here's a picture

of her medicine cabinet.

Here is a picture

of her sleeping.

There are a lot of those.

That's--

those are just a joke.

We were messing around.

Actually,

my favorite things

are the notes.

So you have...

Taylor's favorite brunch spot,

Taylor's favorite books,

Taylor's favorite movie posters.

-Why are you--

-sit the f*** down!

Sit the f*** down.

-What do you want?

-Me?

Nothing. No, I'm-- I'm just

looking out for my sister.

What do you want?

Look, I'm not

a psychopath or anything.

I just... want to be her friend.

Come on.

Your password to your phone

is my sister's birthday,

for f***'s sake.

That's like,

"single. White, female" sh*t.

Look, I just moved here.

I don't know anyone,

and Taylor's been so nice to me

telling me all

the best places to go...

I'm not doing anything wrong.

-Okay? So please don't tell her.

-Sorry, all good. But this is...

It's just too good to let go.

I mean...

You're f***ed.

I'm gonna make a deal with you.

I'm not gonna give you

your phone back.

But I'm willing

to rent it out to you.

For a very small fee.

-How much?

-Five thousand a month.

Disco Dan told me about your mom

and the sack full of cash.

F***ing ridiculous.

I don't have that kind of money.

-Okay, Taylor!

-Don't do that, please don't.

-Just...

-Oh.

You're ready to make

a deal then?

Five thousand a month,

and I won't tell her

how much of a f***ing loser

you are.

I'll give you five thousand,

that's it.

You don't have any room

to negotiate. I own you.

Fine.

Good.

So tomorrow night,

we'll meet at the whole foods

parking lot.

Gives you twenty-four hours

to get the cash.

And don't worry

about deleting anything.

I already forwarded

all the good stuff to myself.

Oh! This is my favorite part

of the song.

- F***ing dainty flower.

- -Oh, my god

- what the hell's in that?

- -You look really cool

- with that piece of sh*t.

What are you,

a Barbie doll?

'Cause you got

f***ing ripped off.

I don't need to know how much

you paid for that sh*t.

-Ah!

-Excuse me.

Yeah.

I'll give one of you 200 bucks

if you punch me in the face.

-I'm serious.

-F*** off.

Oh, okay.

It's cool.

Yeah, that's fine.

If you pussies can't handle it,

that's fine. I'll find

someone else who can.

Dude, come on.

-Alright, f*** it. I will do it.

-What?

-I said I'll do it.

-Okay, great.

-Oh, yeah!

-Where's the money?

-You sure about this, right?

-Yeah.

As hard as you can.

Punch me.

Really hard, right in the face.

- F***ing--

-oh, shoot!

--Shut up!

- Oh, sh*t.

You got f***ed up.

Alright, I need to know what

happened. I mean, every detail.

When I got home,

i turned the lights on

and Nicky was there.

I swear to god.

He was sitting there

and he was waiting for me,

and he was f***ed up on...

Drugs or drug or something,

i don't know.

And I asked him

for my phone back

and he wouldn't give it

back to me.

And then he said

he wanted $50,000.

-Fifty thousand?

-Yes!

I told him that I didn't have

that kind of money,

but he said that...

He said you told him

about the money my mom gave me.

-Is that true?

I don't know.

We were drinking this shitty...

He kept asking me

f***ing question.

Damn! Why the f***

would you do that?

-I told you how dangerous he is.

-It doesn't sound like Nick.

Okay. Well,

you've known him for one day.

-So how would you know?

-I don't know...

I've seen him do dirt, we were

supposed to go to six flags.

Argh. F***.

We gotta call him.

-We gotta call him.

-No.

-What do you mean, "no"?

-Don't call him.

-We gotta call him.

-Don't call him.

He told me if I told anyone,

he would kill me.

-I don't give a sh*t.

-You don't know

what he's capable of.

-I don't give a f***, Ingrid!

Look at your face!

What am I supposed to do?

Shh. Look... shh.

We need to be smart

about this, okay?

I need you to be Batman.

I am Batman.

We won't kill

this dude, right?

No. No. We're just

gonna scare him a little bit.

We're going to take him

out to the desert

and you're gonna tell him

if he doesn't leave me alone,

-you're gonna f***ing kill him.

-What if he calls the police.

-No, no.

-If he calls the police...

-Nah, this sh*t just seems sca--

-hey!

Keep it together.

I thought you were Batman.

I am Batman.

Batman don't do sh*t like this.

I arrest people,

take them to arkham asylum,

they possibly get out

a few months later

and the cycle continues.

All right?

He deserves this.

You saw my bruise.

- He f***ed me up.

That's right.

He... he f***ing hit you.

Tupac said,

"it'll be days like this".

-All right, let's--

-wait.

Love you.

Don't move.

Did you guys

think this through?

To tell you the truth,

i don't think you did.

'Cause this should be

behind the back.

Just pointing it out.

Sad, but, um, don't worry.

I'm good. I'm gonna stay down.

You know what,

I'm just thinking about this.

Who would really want

to kidnap me?

Ah, there's not many people

except maybe, um... Olga.

Olga, is that you?

Who you got helping ya?

Hello?

I never knew I get car sick.

Well, I never had

a bag on my head.

-Shut the f*** up.

-Gentle.

Oh, sh*t, really?

God, is this necessary?

Listen!

Leave Ingrid thorburn

-the f*** alone.

-Okay, come on.

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