Ingrid Goes West Page #5

a connection towards him.

Oh, my god. You're an orphan?

I'm so sorry.

It's fine. He made it through.

I'll make it through.

What happened to your parents?

It was a car accident.

Yeah.

It happened when I was a kid,

and I didn't know

how to cope with it.

So, at school,

I'd wear a Batman mask.

Make everybody call me Bruce...

And pretend to be somebody else.

So, it was like...

It happened to somebody else.

What about you?

What about you?

What's your story?

Um, yeah, I don't really

like Batman that much.

No, no.

With your mom?

What's your story with your mom?

What happened?

She had a heart attack.

I mean, she was sick

before that.

You guys were close?

Yeah, we were really close.

We were...

I lived with her.

And um...

It's just been really hard.

Because it was kinda like,

i lost my best friend.

-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, my god, I'm so sorry.

-No, don't. Don't.

-Getting too intense. I'm sorry.

You must think I'm the worst.

I'm not.

Listen. Don't worry about that.

Don't even talk about that.

You don't ever have

to apologize to me

about how you're feeling.

It may seem like I don't care.

I put up a front, you know.

But I definitely care about you.

Why?

To me, um...

I don't know,

it's just that you have

a different kind

of ring to you

you have a different

kind of shine.

And I just think

somebody needs to appreci--

meow.

F*** me, Bruce.

-F*** me, Bruce.

-Tell me Gotham needs me.

Gotham needs you.

Now.

You were great, by the way.

No one's ever done that

for me before.

Hmm.

You were great too.

Thank you, mama.

Hey, so, my friends are renting

a house this weekend...

Mm-hmm.

They're having like,

a party or something.

Do you wanna come with me?

-Oh, yeah?

-Hmm.

Of course, baby.

You're the best.

Hurry up, we're gonna be late.

Do I get to use this sh*t

buttoned up all the way?

Yes, it looks better that way.

Don't be a baby.

-I'm being a baby.

-Stop that!

Don't do that

in front of everybody.

- Alright, come on.

-Wait, wait, wait, wait.

-A couple of ground rules, okay?

-Okay.

I need you to tell everyone

that you're my boyfriend.

It's a long story,

but I just need you

-to say that to everyone.

-No, no, no, no, no, I get it.

And I see that you dig me,

i dig you.

-I'll be your boyfriend.

-Okay.

-I'll be your boyfriend.

-Okay, whatever.

And also, no Batman talk.

What am I supposed to talk

about? I don't know them.

Something cool, like food

or clothes or Joan didion.

Okay.

Don't talk about comic books

or anything.

These people don't care

about stuff like that.

-Anything else you might--

-yes. Whatever you do,

-just stay away from Nicky.

-Who's Nicky?

Nicky is Taylor's brother,

and he's a f***ing liar,

a drug addict and just

not to be trusted, okay?

-Girl, what's up?

-Hey.

-Who's that?

-This is Dan pinto.

My imaginary boyfriend.

-Dan pinto?

-Yeah.

My sister says

you're obsessed with Batman.

-Yea-- yeah.

-Wow, get the f*** out!

Oh, god, why didn't you tell me?

I f***ing love Batman.

Nicky. Great to meet ya!

Harley!

-Anybody needs a beer?

-No beer, bro.

What's your problem with Nick?

Why don't you like him?

I mean, he seem chill.

He's not chill. Okay?

And he doesn't like you.

He's only being nice to you

to f*** with me.

Damn. Excuse me, can he like

me for my personality sh*t?

-Hey. Is everything okay?

-Yeah everything is chill.

We're just talking about how

amazing this house is, right?

- Yeah. It's a dope spot.

- -Pinto!

Get your ass over her. I got

a cohiba with your name on it.

Alright, for sure, nigga,

I'll be right over.

Just between us, Nicky can't

stop talking about you.

I think, he has like,

a little bit of a man crush.

-Bye.

-Bye.

Bye.

What the hell is wrong?

What is this?

Why are you acting like this?

-You don't even like these guys.

-I do like them.

Alright.

Tell me when Ingrid gets here,

hey, where's the hat I give you?

-This is the hat you gave me.

-No, it's not.

Okay, look,

that sh*t was weak, alright?

I'm-- I'm in this shirt.

You let me roll up the sleeves,

let me get a little bit of Dan

in it, please.

Fine, you can leave on the hat

and go hangout with them

-just don't embarrass me, okay?

-Nigga, I'm gonna go talk

-about some Batman, right now.

-Don't say it.

-Alright. Love you!

-Love you.

So, the other day I was

at this tech startup thing.

They had the most absurd

art on the wall

- that you have ever seen

and I gotta be honest, it kinda

bugged me a little bit because

it's like, "what statement

are you trying to make?"

Is it that, as a company,

that you're trying to say

that you've good taste?

You know, like,

that's f***ing bullshit, man.

-You can't acquire taste.

-Come on!

It's something that you have

to earn, you gotta be in pain

over it. Do you have something

you'd like to say, Nicky?

-You wanna share with the class?

-I don't think you'd say that

if they hung one

of your paintings on the wall.

That-- first of all, I would,

because I'm an objective...

--...person. That's not--

and, in fact, it's not what

I'm even talking about.

Abs-- absolutely everything

you were talking about.

No.

Come on, babe, back me up.

Look, i-- I mean,

i kinda agree with Nicky

'cause you always say

that art is subjective.

-Wow.

-What?

- Oh, come on, I was--

-where are you going?

I was just being honest

with you, man.

- Ugh!

- That was uncalled for.

I know what you meant.

So, Nicky tells me

you've a place in Joshua tree.

Oh, my god. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Have you been?

No,

but I'm dying to go.

Yeah you should, it's amazing.

I've been thinking of doing

a pop up out there.

For our resort collection.

-Wait. Can I tell you a secret?

-Uh-uh.

Okay.

I presume it sounds crazy,

but my biggest dream is to buy

the house that's next door to us

and turn it to

this boutique hotel

where everything in it

is for sale.

- Oh, nice.

- Yeah, and I was gonna

- call it "desert door."

-Love it.

-What are you doing?

-Nothing.

-Everything okay?

-Yeah, just go over there.

- Hey!

-Hi.

Do you guys need help

with anything?

No. No, I actually think

that we're fine in here.

- Cool.

- -Yeah.

Oh, my god, I wanted to tell you

that I read the deer park.

The book you're obsessed with?

-Yeah. It's great, isn't it?

-It's so good.

-If you ever want to talk--

-oh, my god.

Wait! Why don't you and Nicky

just come out next weekend?

We'll take you to happy's.

The crowd's a little sketchy,

but they have

the best live music

and the greatest desert vibes...

Ezra!

Hey, have you seen my phone?

Can't find it anywhere.

Nope.

What are you doing?

I want skinny dipping.

Alone?

Yeah.

You okay?

I'm not an artist.

I'm a f***ing charlatan.

No, you're not.

Your paintings are awesome.

You're my only sale.

But Taylor said

they were really popular.

She would say that,

wouldn't she? Yeah.

Everything's the best,

with her.

"Have you been to this new

restaurant? It's the best!"

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