Inherent Vice Page #3

15.

Doc parks and musters some courage, passes over the

Harleys -- bathes himself in a white glow -- and enters

the massage parlor...

9 INT. CHICK PLANET MASSAGE PARLOR - DAY 9

Doc steps in... it's quiet and very dark. A sexy young

Asian girl in a bikini: JADE (20s).

JADE:

Hi, I'm Jade? Please take note of

today's P*ssy Eater's Special

which is good all day till closing

time?

DOC:

Mmmm... how much is it?

JADE:

$14.95.

DOC:

Errr, not that $14.95 ain't a

totally groovy price, but I'm

really trying to locate this guy

who works for Mr. Wolfmann?

JADE:

Does he eat p*ssy?

DOC:

Fella named Glen Charlock?

JADE:

Oh, sure. Glen comes in here. He

eats p*ssy. You got a cigarette

for me?

He taps her out a smoke.

JADE:

Ohhhh. Lock up style. Not much

eating p*ssy in there, huh?

DOC:

Glen and I were both in Chino

around the same time... have you

seen him today?

JADE:

If you're a cop, you're entitled

to a free preview of our P*ssy

Eater's Special.

DOC:

How about a licensed P.I.?

JADE:

Hey, Bambi?

16.

BAMBI comes out, wearing day-glo bikini. Jade reaches

into Bambi's bikini bottom and before you know it -- Theydisappear below the reception desk. Doc watches... in a

flash reflected behind him we see a BALD HEAD, SWASTIKATATTOO AND THEN SOMETHING COMES DOWN ON DOC'S HEAD -- AND

HE'S OUT.

CUT TO BLACK.

OVER BLACK:

WE HEAR THE SOUNDS OF THE MOTORCYCLES FIRING UP AND

TEARING OFF...

10 ANGLE - LATER 10

Doc comes to... lump on his head... he steps outside,

opens the door, CAMERA FOLLOWS HIM OUT TO REVEAL:

CUT TO:

11 EXT. CHANNEL VIEW ESTATES - DAY 11

LAPD, DETECTIVES AND CORONER ARE ON SITE AT WHAT IS NOW ACRIME SCENE. A line of POLICE CARS AIM AT DOC led byDETECTIVE LT. CHRISTIAN F. "BIGFOOT" BJORNSEN, eating achocolate-covered frozen banana and hollering through abullhorn... Doc steps out, guns aim at him... A DEAD BODY

ON THE GROUND BETWEEN HIM AND THE LAPD...

BIGFOOT:

Congratulations, hippie scum. And

welcome to a world of

inconvenience... Yes, this time it

appears you have finally managedto stumble into something too real

and deep to hallucinate yourworthless hippie ass of -- withoutwishing to seem impatient -anytime

you'd like to join us,

we'd so like to chat...

DOC:

Bigfoot, what happened...! I

remember massage parlor -- Asianchick named Jade and Anglo friendBambi -BIGFOOT

Wishful figments of a brainpickled in cannabis fumes, nodoubt.

DOC:

Whatever it is, I didn't do it.

17.

BIGFOOT:

Sure.

12 ANGLE - LATER 12

Doc is in cuffs, sitting on the ground. THERE'S A CORPSE

COVERED ON A GURNEY that is taken past. It is a bloodymess, body parts are falling out onto the ground -- Docis getting sick at the sight of it.

BIGFOOT:

I can almost pity your civiliandistress. Though if you were moreof a man and less of a ball-less

hippie draft dodger, who knows,

you might have seen enough over inthe 'Nam to share even my ownsense of professional ennui at thesight of one more stiff.

Who is it?

DOC:

BIGFOOT:

Was, Sportello. Here on Earth we

say, ‘was.’ Meet Glen Charlock.

Whom you were asking for by nameonly hours ago, witnesses willswear to that. Furthermore, onthe face of it, you've chosen toice a personal bodyguard ofthe rather well-connected MickeyWolfmann. Name rings bell? Or in

your case shakes tambourine? Ah,

but here's our ride --

A POLICE CRUISER COMES TO A SLIDING STOP NEXT TO DOC AND

BIGFOOT.

DOC:

Where's my ride?

BIGFOOT:

Like it's owner, on its way toimpoundment.

CUT TO:

13 INT. PARKER CENTER - DAY 13

Doc in custody sitting across from Bigfoot.

BIGFOOT:

So when you and Glen had yourfatal encounter, when would yousay that was in the series ofevents?

18.

DOC:

I told you the first time I ever

saw him, he was dead.

BIGFOOT:

His associates, then. How many of

them were you already acquainted

with?

DOC:

Not normally guys I'd hang out

with, Bigfoot, totally wrong drug

profile.

BIGFOOT:

Potheads, you're so exclusive.

Would you say you took offense at

Glen's preference for barbiturates

and amphetamines?

DOC:

Yes. I was planning to report him

to the Dope Fiend Standards and

Ethics Committee next week...

BIGFOOT:

Now your ex-girlfriend Shasta Fay

Hepworth is a known intimate of

Glen's employer, Mickey Wolfmann.

Do you think Glen and Shasta were -

Bigfoot slides his fingers around, makes a "f***ing"

sign.

BIGFOOT:

How does it make you feel? Here

you are still carrying the torch

and there she is in the company of

all those Nazi lowlifes?

DOC:

Keep doing that, Bigfoot, you're

givin' me a hard-on...

BIGFOOT:

Tough little wop monkey as my man

Fatso Judson always sez.

DOC:

Case you forget, Lieutenant, you

and me are almost in the same

business, except I don't get that

free pass to shoot people all the

time and so forth. But if I was

in your seat, I guess I'd be

acting the same way, maybe start

in next with remarks about my

mother.

(MORE)

19.

DOC (CONT'D)

Or I guess your mother, because

you'd be me... Have I got that

right?

Bigfoot pretends to read notes:

BIGFOOT:

While suspect -- that's you -- is

having alleged midday nap, so

necessary to the hippie lifestyle,

some sort of incident occurs in

the vicinity of Channel View

Estates. Firearms are discharged.

When the dust settles, we find one

Glen Charlock deceased. More

compellingly for LAPD, the man

Charlock was supposed to be

guarding, Michael Z. Wolfmann, has

vanished, giving local law

enforcement less than 24 hours

before the feds call it a

kidnapping and come in to f***

everything up. Perhaps,

Sportello, you could help

forestall this by providing the

names of the other members of your

cult?

DOC:

Cult.

BIGFOOT:

No one would ever be stupid enough

to attempt this alone, which

suggests some kind of Mansanoid

conspiracy, wouldn't you agree?

I've been referred to more than

once by the L.A. Times as a

Renaissance detective, which means

that I am many things--

and one thing I am not is stupid --

and purely out of noblesse oblige

I extend this assumotion to cover

you as well...

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