Inherent Vice Page #5

could afford to buy formula? It's

a long way from my job now. I'm a

drug counselor -- talking kids

into sensible drug use...

Doc looks very confused for a moment. (What's that?)

DOC CANNOT HELP BUT STARE AT HOPE'S TEETH AND MAKE FUNNY

MOUTH MOVEMENTS WATCHING HER SPEAK...

26.

HOPE HARLINGEN:

You're staring at my teeth?

DOC:

Huh? No? (Sensible drug use)

Yes.

HOPE HARLINGEN:

Heroin sucks the calcium out of

your system like a vampire, use it

at any length of time and your

teeth go all to hell. And that's

the good part.

DOC:

So... this thing that happened to

your husband?

HOPE HARLINGEN:

Whatever he took that killed him,

wasn't California smack, for sure.

DOC:

Who was the dealer?

HOPE HARLINGEN:

El Drano in Venice.

DOC:

Was Coy a steady customer?

HOPE HARLINGEN:

Known him for years -- what does a

dealer care? Overdoses are good

for business -

DOC:

Sudden herds of junkies showing up

at the door thinking it must be

some really good sh*t? Something

like that?

HOPE HARLINGEN:

You got it. Mr. Sportello, I

don't think Coy is really dead.

DOC:

Did you I.D. the body?

HOPE HARLINGEN:

No. Whoever called me said

somebody from his band did that.

DOC:

It's supposed to be next of kin.

HOPE HARLINGEN:

And this... this deposit showed up

close to his disappearance.

27.

She brings out a BANK STATEMENT book and shows it to him,

points to a CREDIT. Doc raises his eyebrows at the

amount.

DOC:

Interesting sum.

HOPE HARLINGEN:

He had no insurance policies that

I knew about... Why would this big

deposit suddenly appear in our

account and be anonymous?

DOC:

Is there a picture of Coy you

could spare?

She hands him a BOX FULL OF POLAROIDS. Doc looks inside.

We see:
COY HARLINGEN. Coy with the baby, Coy cooking

heroin, Coy tying off, Coy shooting up, Coy and Hope out

at the beach, sitting in a pizza joint playing tug-of-war

with the last slice, sticking his dick in his saxophone.

SORTILEGE (V.O.)

These were perilous times,

astrologically speaking, for

dopers -- especially those of high

school age, who'd been born most

of them, under a ninety-degree

aspect, the unluckiest angle

possible, between Neptune,

the doper's planet, and Uranus,

the planet of rude surprises. Doc

had known it to happen that those

left behind would refuse to

believe that people they loved or

even took the same classes with

were really dead. They came up

with all kinds of alternate

stories so it wouldn't have to be

true.

DOC:

Okay if I take this one?

HOPE HARLINGEN:

Sure.

18 AT THE DOOR - MOMENTS LATER 18

Doc's on his way out. Just one more thing...

DOC:

How did your husband know Shasta

Fay?

28.

HOPE HARLINGEN:

She picked us up hitchhiking... I

think Coy and her somehow stayed

in touch... but I don't know for

sure...

CUT TO:

19 INT. DOC'S OFFICE - DAY 19

Getting outfit. Making call to Sloane Wolfmann scene.

For poss. over V.O. Petunia here.

CUT TO:

A20 INT. DOC'S CAR A20

DRIVING TO SLOANE WOLFMANN'S.

Doc in his disguise...

SORTILEGE (V.O.)

Shasta had mentioned a possible

laughing academy angle to Mickey

Wolfmann's matrimonial drama and

Doc thought it might be

interesting to see how society

page superstar Mrs. Sloane

Wolfmann would react when somebody

brought up the topic... If Mickey

was currently being held against

his will in some private nuthouse,

then Doc's immediate chore would

be to try and find out

which one...

CUT TO:

20 INT. WOLFMANN MANSION (SANTA MONICA MOUNTAINS) - DAY 20

DOC rings the doorbell. He's dressed in a disguise of a

DOUBLE-BREASTED SUIT, SHORT HAIR WIG, LOAFERS. The door

is opened by a sexy young Chicana: LUZ (20s).

LUZ:

Who are you supposed to be?

DOC:

Good afternoon, here to see Mrs.

Wolfmann.

LUZ:

She's hanging by the pool with all

the police and them... come

inside.

29.

LUZ:

So you're the shrink that called?

DOC:

That's right.

LUZ:

Uh-huh...

Out back, by the pool, LAPD are set up in A COMMAND POST

by the pool cabana. They're also swimming in the pool,

making margaritas and playing Ping Pong.

SLOANE WOLFMANN (40s, British, ex-showgirl) strolls

towards the house wearing a black bikini, black shawl,

black high heel sandals. She steps into the main living

room to greet Doc... and stops, landing in what appears

to be the MOST INSANELY GORGEOUS MOVIE STAR LIGHTING IN

THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

SLOANE:

Do you like the lighting?

DOC:

Uh-huh.

SLOANE:

Jimmy Wong Howe did it for us

years ago. LUZ! The midday

refrescos now, if you wouldn't

mind?

They sit down. Luz comes in and pours drinks, shows her

ass to Doc while pouring...

DOC:

Your husband was planning to endow

a new wing for our facility -- he

actually tendered us a sum in

advance. But somehow it just

didn't seem right to keep the

money while so little was known

of his whereabouts. So, we'd like

to refund you the sum, and if, and

as we all pray when, Mr. Wolfmann

is next heard from, why then,

perhaps the

process can resume.

SLOANE:

We did recently endow another

facility, in Ojai... Chryskylodon

Institute.

DOC:

Kriskleddone? Errrr... yesss,

uhhh...

30.

SLOANE:

An ancient Indian word that means,

‘serenity.’ Are you somehow a

subsidiary...?

DOC:

Perhaps one of our Sister

Sanatoria?

Enter RIGGS WARBLING. Big, muscular and blond, spiritual

coach, wearing a tiny swim shorts.

SLOANE:

Mr. Riggs Warbling... my spiritual

coach.

DOC:

How'd you do?

RIGGS:

Pleasureable.

DOC:

(to Sloane)

Maybe you can tell us where to

send this refund and what form

you'd like it in?

RIGGS:

Small bills! Non-consecutive

serial numbers!

SLOANE:

Riggs. Enough. Always making

with the tasteless jokes. Perhaps

if one of your company officers

simply endorsed Michael's check

back to one of his accounts?

DOC:

Of course!

SLOANE:

Let me just find you a deposit

form...

She gets up and walks over to a desk, revealing a low cut

back and exposing her back...

DOC:

You're a spiritual advisor, Mr.

Warbling?

RIGGS:

And a contractor.

DOC:

You work for Mr. Wolfmann?

RIGGS looks back to SLOANE WOLFMANN, says to Doc:

31.

RIGGS:

If you can call it work...

... Riggs starts doing some weightlifting nearby and somepractice hump-thrusts. LUZ stands in a corner

watching...

CLOSEUP - DOC

watching this circus...

CUT TO:

21 INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER 21

Luz walks Doc to the front door. She makes eyes at him.

DOC:

I forgot, I, uh, I have to use thebathroom?

LUZ:

As long as you don't steal

anything.

DOC:

Muchas gracias, there, Luz.

I won't be a minute.

22 INT. PALATIAL BATHROOM - THAT MOMENT 22

DOC snoops around, goes into a cavernous WALK-IN CLOSETand notices: A RACK DEDICATED TO SOME STRANGE NECKTIES.

VINTAGE SILK TIES, HAND-PAINTED WITH A DIFFERENT NUDEWOMAN ON EACH. ERECT CLITS, SPREAD P*SSY LIPS, EACHWOMAN IN A DIFFERENT POSE. HE COMES ACROSS ONE OF

SLOANE. SUDDENLY, THERE'S A HAND AROUND HIS BACK.

HOLY SH*T.

DOC:

LUZ:

I'm in there somewhere.

looking.

Keep

DOC:

Huh huh huhuhuhuhu.

LUZ:

There I am. Cute, huh? My titsaren't really that big, but it'sthe thought that counts.

DOC:

Did you ladies all pose for these?

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