Inserts Page #6

Gee, Rex, that's too bad...

'cause I listened to your idea,

and I thought it was a good one, too.

That stunt with the shorts...

that's just the kind of thinking I could fit

into my hamburger operation.

I'm not interested

in your hamburger operation.

No?

Gee, kid, that's too bad.

You wanna know why?

That hamburger operation ain't the only pie

I'm thinking of sticking my thumb in.

No, sir, not by a long shot.

I've been thinking a lot

about the real movies, too.

Real movies?

It probably wouldn't interest you.

No, what about them?

It's just I've been thinking... No, forget it.

You're going to the Beverly Hills Hotel

and you're meeting a big cheese from Metro.

That's okay. I mean, I got a couple minutes.

Go ahead.

It's just I been thinking...

these stag pics is okay for your...

nickel-and-dime motor-court crowd,

you know what I mean? Funny.

I've been thinking, maybe it's time

I got into the real movies...

and made some real dough. Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Miss Cake and I have been talking about it

for a long time.

And I think she'd be pretty hot stuff

up there, with a little practice.

Yes, sir, pretty hot stuff.

But the thing is, we need a guy...

to kind of run things for us,

you know what I mean?

The kind of guy that knows

one end of picture from the other.

Well...

I've had a lot of experience.

I know, Rex, that's what I was thinking.

And you're a good little worker,

I'll hand you that.

But the thing is, could we count on

you when the chips was down?

You can count on me, Big Mac.

Could we? I mean...

right here's your case in point.

Here I am, with a stiff in the other room...

and you're on your way

to the Beverly Hills Hotel, Rex.

Gee, Mac, you make it sound like I was a-

Chicken-sh*t pansy-ass?

What can I do?

You know I'd help you if I could.

But you can, buster, you can.

You just said it a minute ago,

you got a name.

I got a stiff...

and you're in the funeral biz!

Don't that say something to you?

I got it. You want a discount.

Yeah, I can get you one.

Discount? What is this kid using for steam?

What are you talking, "discount"?

You think I'll advertise in the social pages?

You think I'm gonna get six pallbearers...

five for the box

and one for the spike in her arm?

I want you should do it on the q. t., stupid.

You mean don't tell anybody?

I mean...

you and me...

right now...

we dump her in the car...

and we take her out to the maggot ranch...

and we stick her in a spare hole.

Spare hole?

Come on now, buster. We're talking

about one of your top boneyards here.

- Don't tell me they don't book in advance.

- They book in advance.

Then you must have something

warming up for somebody, yeah?

We are expecting a party of two tomorrow.

A lovebird thing.

Guy shot his wife, then sucked a pipe...

and left an order for a double ditch.

A double ditch? There you go.

Plenty of room for everybody.

We stick her in there today.

Brush a little dust on her...

and then tomorrow,

when they lower the crates-

I don't know, I mean wait a minute.

I mean, you make it sound real easy.

I mean, what if somebody saw us?

I mean, I got a name,

a name in the funeral business.

All right, Rex...

if it means more to you...

than a name in the real movies, forget it.

Now, wait a minute.

I guess...

we could hide her in the shed

where I keep my shovel.

Now you're cooking.

And then I could go back tonight

when it was dark and bury her.

Why, sure. It's a cinch.

- Come on, let's go.

- Well, now-

- Come on.

- I'm coming.

So you knew Wallace Reid?

Careful there, will you?

Wait a minute. What if someone sees us

putting her in the car?

Like who? He's the only one

left on this block. Come on.

Hold it. Put her down.

Mac, is there anything I can do?

You just sit tight, honey.

This is work for the big boys.

You've seen enough of this stuff

for one day. It's degenerate.

The whole thing's degenerate.

Now you just sit tight. Daddy will be back

for you in a little while. Yeah?

Mac, I told you, I am not a child.

That's for sure. You think I'd leave

a kid alone with this wacko?

He's out of his goddamn noodle.

But you wouldn't mind leaving a

grown woman alone with him, is that it?

Mind leaving a grown woman

alone with him?

That's rich. Don't you know about this guy?

He couldn't get his rope to rise

with a magic flute.

Mind leaving her alone with him,

that's a howl.

Come on. Let's get her out of here.

Hold it.

You got something

to tie this thing closed with?

You just sit tight, all right? Come on.

I've been thinking. I mean,

you know, about my deportment?

It's okay for this nickel-and-dime,

motor-court stuff...

but what about in the real movies?

- Don't worry. You can get new.

- Yeah?

Yeah, come on.

What did he mean about getting your

rope to rise? Do you do magic tricks?

All but that one, Miss Cake.

Was she a good friend of yours?

I thought she was awfully sweet.

She was much smaller than she looks

in Chicago. I mean, in the movies.

- Miss Cake.

- I know.

You want me to shut up.

You think I'm just a silly little girl.

I don't mind if you do.

It's when he does, it gets me sore.

Did you really want that boy Rex

to do it with her when she was dead?

- Listen, Miss Cake-

- I think you meant it all right.

I bet you're not afraid to do anything.

Like what you were doing

when we came in here.

I never saw anything so intense

in all my life.

You didn't even know we were here.

I bet you didn't even know what time it was.

I bet you never think about things like that.

Once, when I was in college,

I stayed up all night to write an essay...

and I didn't think about

what time it was once.

Miss Cake, I'm going to have to ask

for a little silence now.

Go ahead and think I'm a silly little girl.

I don't mind if you do. Know why?

Because he thinks you're a little boy...

a silly little Boy Wonder.

Know what he told me

in the car on the way here?

He said you were so silly that you

didn't even know the time of day.

Just shows you

what a truly limited guy he is.

Honest to God, Miss Cake, I don't-

Wait a minute. I'm not the only one

who thinks you're intense.

This guy Clark Gable thinks so, too.

He told us, out front of the house.

He said he thought you were the only

genius that ever worked in the cinema.

Who?

Clark Gable, the new kid at Path.

He's looking for you. Know what he wants?

He wants you to direct a movie,

a real movie again...

at Path. He told us, out front of the house.

- He what?

- That's right.

Know what Mac told him?

He's such a limited guy.

He said, "Forget it, kid. Everybody knows

about the Boy Wonder and the real movies. "

But I don't see why you couldn't do it.

Do what?

Direct this Clark Gable in a movie.

He really wants you bad.

Know what he said?

He said, "I know I'm good...

"but with the Boy Wonder directing me,

I could be great. "

And I could see what he meant.

He's a good-looking guy...

but he's got these ears

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