Inspector Gadget Page #2

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- Sorry. Just doesn't look like

you got off to a good start.

[Laughing] So, how can you be so

sure that this is the proper subject?

Dad told me that I would know

when the right man came along.

John Brown's the right man.

- Well.

- Well.

That's good enough for me.

[Laughs]

Let's go.

[All]

Hmm.

- Chain saw!

- Waxy build-up, stat.

- Bring in the hoses, stat!

[Surgeons Continue Noisily]

[Man]

Ready, and... break!

It's a thing of beauty,

Quimby.

The future of law enforcement

reborn before our very eyes.

Yeah... Columbo and Nintendo

all rolled into one.

He'll make you obsolete:

No overtime, no hazard pay,

no blue flu. [Laughs]

And he won't call me

"Evil Gidget" behind my back.

Oh, by the way, what do we have

on the Artemus Bradford murder?

Well, we got a limo

with no licence...

and some scrap metal from whatever

it was that broke into the lab.

- Do we at least know what was stolen?

- According to Doctor Bradford,

- a robotic foot.

- Robotic foot.

- A robotic foot?

- Yeah.

What kind of cyberfreak

are we dealing with?

[Man]

Not bad, Kramer.

- Not bad at all.

- [Relieved Sigh]

It's got a sort of postmodern

Captain Hook kind of feel to it.

Very diabolical.

[Chuckles]

I deserve

a dashing appellation.

"Dashing Appalachian"? What is that?

A hillbilly with a tuxedo?

- No, you idiot!

- No!

[Chuckles]

It's a nickname...

one that will send my enemies

cowering in fear.

Ah.

Ah, too bad

"Hook" is taken, huh?

- How 'bout..."Captain Claw"?

- Oh.

- No, no, no, no, no...

- Or "Santa Claw."

Just "Claw."

One word,

like "Madonna."

Well, anyhoo, Captain...

Sir... Mr Claw,

I know how much you like

to maintain an active lifestyle,

so I have managed to design...

a few interchangeable options.

- Hi, hi. [Laughs]

- Oh, very clever, Kramer.

[Mocking]

"Very clever, Kramer."

- Very clever, indeed. [Chuckles]

- [Gasps]

Well, first we have

the opera hand...

for those special nights out.

And I know how much

you enjoy Japanese food,

so I made you a sushi hand...

see there?

[Mimics Eating]

Tasty.

- Hmm.

- [Nervously] Also,

I don't remember if you enjoy

the medieval fare, but...

Kramer, that's enough.

Sikes, bring on the foot.

- [Shrieks, Sighs]

- Oops.

Hmm?

[Mechanical Whirring]

[Metallic Clang]

[Popping, Whizzing]

- [Chirping]

- What the...

What have they got me on?

Ooh! Ooh!

Oh, my... Oh! Ooh!

[Screams]

[Shrieking]

- I, um...

- Your thumb's on fire!

- I seem to be having a reaction.

- [Shrieking]

- Mr Brown.

- Oh. Oh, it's you.

It's all right.

It's all right.

- [Panting] Um, I, uh...

- [Mechanical Noises Continue]

I don't know what's wrong.

I, uh... I seem to be ill,

and I can't remember anything.

You may not remember very much

right now. You suffered a major

concussion in the explosion.

- What happened?

- You've just come out of

a very long recovery.

You are now a sophisticated network

of tissue, hardware and software.

No! I gotta get outta here.

Mr Brown...

Mr Brown, come back here.

We're gonna go in...

I'll take...

[Gasps]

[Panting]

Look, Mr Brown, I know

that this is all new for you,

and it must feel strange.

- [Mechanical Whirring]

- You will adjust.

- My head is very heavy.

- Don't worry. That's easy to fix.

[Grunts]

I don't wanna be like this.

I don't understand

what happened to me.

John, we saved your life.

I'm not me any more.

I'm a hardware store.

This is a huge opportunity.

You were designed...

as the first prototype

cyber police officer for

the Riverton Police Department.

You said yourself you wanted

to help people... this is your chance.

- I do want to help people.

- I know.

- Aiyee!

- Oh!

- [Coughs]

- I'll be with you every step

of the way.

Okay. I'd shake your hand

but you might lose an eye.

[Man] An android of this quality

could have a myriad of uses:

Shock troops,

kamikaze pilots, hit men.

International rescue workers,

teachers.

Oh, yes. I was getting to them.

Well, let's see him in action, huh?

Okay.

Oh, I'll strap myself in.

Okay.

Turn me on, Kramer.

[Grunting, Straining]

Move, darn you!

Move!

- [Straining]

- It's a lemon.

Thank you for that, Sikes.

- You put it on. Come on.

- Why can't he do it?

He's capable of intelligent thought.

That's useful to me.

[Chuckles]

Now, strap you in.

Perhaps if we give him

maximum voltage.

- [Moans]

- Yeah, that might work.

[Yelling, Moaning]

I want my...

mama!

[Continues Yelling,

Whimpering]

Something got left behind.

What does Brenda have that I don't?

[Brenda] This is the single

most important component:

The neurone synapse amplifier.

It's a high-powered

processor chip...

that increases the charge

in the human brain wave...

enough to move the machinery

that's now built into your body.

Without this chip... the most

powerful robotics chip in the world...

your body couldn't

possibly function.

- Any more questions?

- Nope, I'm fine.

Guess it just takes

a little getting used to, you know?

Good. Then I will just give you

your manual to study.

[Springing,

Bird-Cawing Sounds]

Volume one.

Mm-hmm.

Looks like the usual stuff:

Extendo-legs,

helicopter hat.

- Guess I'm all set then.

- Right. Oh!

There's one more thing.

I almost forgot. It's important.

Your new wardrobe.

The Gadget suit.

Okay, so if you want to operate

one of your gadgets,

you simply say "Go, go, Gadget,"

and then you name the device.

Well, couldn't I say

something more official, like,

like, "In the name of justice."

[Giggles]

Well, you could, but it wouldn't work.

But "Go, go, Gadget,"

sounds so...

My father designed

the programme, and he...

Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh!

It's "Go, go, Gadget."

- I really like it.

- Okay. Good. I'm glad.

So, okay, let's say there are two guys

trying to rob a jewellery store,

and you wanted to trip 'em up...

what would you do?

- Okay, uh, let me think.

- ## ["Jeopardy!" Theme Plays]

Go, go, Gadget...

oil slick.

That's not oil,

it's toothpaste!

- Ooh! Ooh!

- [Laughing]

[Laughing]

Stop it!

- Whoa!

- Say, "Go, go, Gadget, stop"!

- Go, go, stop!

- We're gonna need

some more work with you.

## [Humming]

Try to visualize your goal.

Concentrate.

Put all other things

out of your head...

except obtaining the balls.

Okay.

He's just like

the "Six Million Dollar Man."

[Sighs]

- [Screams]

- [Screams]

- Wha-What?

[Falsetto]

Ungrip! Ungrip! Turn it off!

[Chuckling] Well, I guess

$6 million doesn't buy what it used to.

- [Swami Continues Screaming]

- Excuse me.

[Falsetto] He is not a man,

you know. He is a monster.

I've got something special

to show you. Ta-da!

The Gadgetmobile.

- Wow.

- It's for you.

I made it myself.

- Come on.

- You made me a car?

The only thing anybody's

ever made me before is a sweater.

All right.

Now, it may look simple,

but this thing has just about

as many factory extras as you do.

Come on!

Get in there!

- Oh...

- Watch the coat. Okay.

[Mechanical

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