Interstate 60 Page #4

If it wasn't, it wouldn't happen.

Right.

Oh, I forgot to give you, your birthday present.

Remember your wish?

An answer.

- Yeah

- That's great.

Yeah, gets greater.

Go on, go ahead. Try it.

Yes or No questions.

OK, hmmm...

Eight ball, is there an Interstate 60?

I told you, it'd get greater.

Who are you mister?

The O.W stands for One Wish.

That's what I do.

I grant wishes.

One to a customer.

Your was more interesting,

then most.

Open ended.

Signifies thought instead of greed.

That's what I get most of the time.

gimme, gimme, gimme,

gimme this, gimme that...

Usually money, or sex,

or easy living.

How I deliver.

Yeah, that depends on what mood i'm in.

Eight Ball, is this guy bull-shitting me?

Come on.

Let's find that road.

Now, one young couple wished to be married.

Live happily ever after.

So I blew up their car.

At the church, on the way to the honeymoon.

Another guy. He wanted great perfect sex every day,

with his choice of gorgeous women. No pregnancies.

So...

Everyday there is a FedEx delivery...

of a skin magazine...

box of tissues.

There's the Stop sign.

Turn right.

There is a sign post,

up ahead.

Son of a b*tch.

I found it.

It was inevitable.

So, I thought all Interstates were divided highways,

with limited access.

No, when highway doesn't officially exist.

The rules don't apply.

OK, so how is it, we're on a highway,

that is on any map,

going to a towns, that presumably don't exist?

Well, there are unlisted phone numbers, right?

So, why can't there be unlisted highways and towns?

I don't buy it.

There's got to be a better explanation, than that.

Better explanation.

OK. How about it's a...

parallel dimension.

Or you're in a dream.

Or it has something to do

with your wish.

Or... you're in a coma

from when that bucket hit you.

Or maybe...

just maybe...

You're dead.

Well?

Well, what do you want kid?

I just gave you not one explanation,

but six.

All reasonable.

You want an answer,

pick one.

It want change anything.

You, you took a job,

and now you got to do it.

Yeah, but it could change something.

So, what if I'm dead?

What if I'm dead, right now.

There is no reason,

why shouldn't drive on oncoming traffic, right?

OK, go ahead.

Try it.

But that's way you accelerated in way of the big semi,

coming at us,

which should be in about 25 seconds, I figure.

Come to this.

Now, if you are dead...

Then, this is the after life,

and you made a deal with a guy, sealed in blood,

who knew everything about you,

even what you are going to say, before you said it.

Now who do you think,

that guy might be?

And...

do you think it is a good idea to piss him off?

Maybe you got a point.

Maybe I do.

Oh, I love this highway.

Me?

I consider myself an artist, too.

I see life, as..

art appreciation.

You know,

some artist can't stand the sight of their work once it's finished.

Me, I'm one of my own biggest fans.

And one of my favourites,

will be coming through that door... any moment..

Now.

Yeah, can I take your order?

15 double-cheeseburgers, please.

15 double-cheese to go.

Oh, not to go.

I'll eat them here.

Hold the order.

You're going to eat 15 double-cheeseburgers,

all by your self?

Yeah.

Why, they are real big?

You think 15 to many?

Way to many.

All right. Twelve then.

Even dozen.

Look,

are you drunk or something, mister?

Well I don't know.

Can you get drunk on six beer?

Hey fella.

I've got a hundred says that you can't eat six double-cheese,

as much less twelve.

So, what you're saying is,

they're really big cheeseburgers?

My hundred says you can't eat six double-cheese.

Well, I'm kinda hungry.

maybe you're right.

Twelve is to many burgers.

I'll tell you what?

Make it two double-cheese, three orders of fried chicken,

one BLT, two ham & Swiss on rie, chicken fried steak,

Turkey club, and two bolls chilli extra onions.

And one piece of each of those pies.

One piece of each of these pies?

Anything else?

Three order onion rings.

That's much more sensible lunch,

than twelve double-cheeseburgers.

Oh, and hold the pickles.

100 bucks.

If you can finish all that food,

in one hour.

Without getting up from that counter,

and without losing your lunch.

I'm not much of a betting man.

Two to One odds then...

No, no, I'll give you Three to One.

That's 300 to mine...

against 100 to yours.

Well, what the Hell.

It's only money.

Hal...

You better hold onto this money.

Sure.

Yeah, I'll take some of that.

Eight Ball, is this guy gonna really eat all that food?

Can I hmm...

Can I get on this action?

Ask him.

No I like long shots.

You're crazy your knees.

My money just as good, right.

Hell about me.

Sir,

you want to drink anything with that?

There's your order.

All right. It's 13:10.

On your mark... Get set...

Wait.

Ketchup, please.

Thanks.

All right... What's the trick?

Trick?

Where is the food?

Can't all be in your stomach.

Actually, I don't know.

The fact is, I always loved eating.

More than anything.

Go into a restaurant,

want to order everything on the menu.

But, I was always frustrated,

by the small capacity of my stomach.

Well, 17 years ago,

I made a wish...

And amazingly enough it came true.

Now I have, what you might call,

a black hole in my belly.

Only I have to keep eating like this,

six or seven times a day.

Gets expensive.

So, I travel a lot,

and take advantage of guys like you to pay for it.

That's a good one.

Excuse me, mister.

I've got to know one thing.

Do you still love eating?

No...

now it's a drag.

Listen kid...

Nobody minds money taken by that guy,

he gave us good show for our money.

But I draw a line over what you did.

What did I do?

I just bet the right horse, that's all.

You run on it. I know a hustle when I see one.

I played a hunch, I swear to God.

I've never seen that guy before in my life

But your friend, there has.

Haven't you fella?

Oh, I wont deny it.

Now,

get back the money you stole, son.

Look sir, I won a couple of bets.

If that's such a crime why dont we call the police.

I am the police.

Sorry about that.

That's all my money.

Hit the rode, fellas.

OK, so what's your game Mr Grant.

'cause it seems like you know exactly what's gonna happen,

just before it happens,

and it's just like

f***ing with me!

Oh, don't take it personal kid.

I f*** with everybody.

That's what I do.

If I tie highly recommend it as

an unending source of amusement.

And as far as knowing what's gonna happen.

Well... on this highway,

the past, the present, the future,

the "What if some maybe's, the roads not taken",

could all converge, get jumble up.

I just happen to be tuned into it.

That's all.

So what are you?

Like an Angel or God, or something?

Just, picking up certain people to give him a wish?

No... no,

just a guy who likes to mess with peoples heads.

I'm a Joker...

in life's deck.

But, why do it?

I enjoy it.

You should always find something to do,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes