Interview Page #3

You know I have dozens of readers.

And I doubt that any of them were

entertained by your performance in...

What was it?

'Life of the Party'

Now that was scary.

It was supposed

to be a comedy, right?

Why would you lie?

About what?

You said you'd never seen one of

my movies. Why would you lie?

I forgot that one.

I saw it on a flight.

Not very memorable.

I watched most of it

with the sound off.

And still I was wishing

the plane would go down.

I mean...

Do you wanna be taken

seriously as an actress?

Is that why you had

your breast reduced?

You miss my tits.

Is that is?

Well, don't you?

They weren't even

mine to begin with.

I made them bigger

for the Killer Body movies.

So you did it for your art.

I'm so sick of talking about this.

I can't even begin to tell you.

Did they pay you by the inch?

It's not different to me to putting

on a costume or wearing a wig.

Or fishnet stockings.

Really?

Do you like fishnet stockings, Pierre?

Wait. Let me rephrase.

Why do you think it is that men like

fishnet stockings so much?

They look good on women.

Fishnet stockings ...

... are a net.

And the woman is

imprisoned within this net.

Like a fish.

You get it?

Ah...Yeah.

And what about high heels?

Well.

High heels make

walking very difficult.

So you see nothing would be

more attractive to a man ...

Than a woman wearing fishnet stockings

and high heels, because...

She has trouble walking.

And she's imprisoned

within this net.

And therefore he thinks

she's easy prey.

I know everything.

Oh yeah?

What makes a man attractive?

Are you hungry?

What makes a man attractive?

If you'd rather have a sandwich,

I think I have some baloney.

That's been working for us so far.

Is Pierre your real name?

Or is that something you invented

to sound more international?

And why aren't you in

Washington already?

Because as far as I can tell

the sh*t's been brewing for days.

It's been on the news non-stop.

Why don't you answer my question?

What makes a man attractive?

A scar.

Why?

Because...

Most women have one, too.

And where...

You are beautiful.

You are repeating yourself.

Don't step on my boots.

So tell me...

Are you good at seducing men?

Are you gay, Pierre?

Well, maybe.

Many years ago in El Salvador

I let a guy in high heels...

... and too much

lipstick jerk me off.

And I paid him 20 bucks.

But hey...

He was wearing fishnets.

So how could I resist?

Are you sure he

only jerked you off?

Well.

That night I was pretty drunk.

So...

Maybe he did take

advantage of me.

The funny thing is...

I convinced myself that

I really wasn't cheating on my wife.

Like...

Like that didn't count.

Kids?

No.

So back to my question.

And your answer.

Are you good at seducing men?

Do you realize how many

men would kill ...

To be standing

as close as you are now?

How many?

Most.

Even the gay ones?

I'm not gonna seduce you, Peter.

Well, I don't want you to, Kathy.

Really?

You said I was beautiful.

Twice.

So?

What would be the point

in telling me that I was beautiful....

If you didn't wanna f*** me?

No, I don't.

Wanna f*** me?

You know what?

I don't f*** celebrities.

I don't f*** nobodies.

Would you kiss me, Pierre?

A French kiss?

What would be the point?

It's okay.

No, it's not okay.

Because I don't want to.

Why not?

Well, believe it or not.

You're not my type.

And you...

Are so not my type.

Kiss me.

God, I hate you.

What?

I said, I hate you.

What the f*** did you think I said?

Hi, sweetie.

Yeah, I'm back home.

'How was it?'

Ah, the interview was all right.

A little boring, though.

Weird guy.

Peter... something.

Yeah. He looks just like my dad.

Where are you going?

Baby, I just started bleeding.

Can I call you back?

I love you, too. Bye.

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

What are you doing?

We're having fun.

Yeah. I was having fun.

Now I'm gonna have to go find my friend.

With the high heels and the lipstick.

Because at least

he finishes what he starts.

You've given up the interview?

What interview?

The one you started?

You can ask me anything.

Anything at all.

Really?

Why did you kiss me?

Why do men always want

to talk about it?

Was that your boyfriend

on the phone?

Well, that certainly wasn't my girlfriend.

That's for sure.

What the hell is wrong with you?

You're on drugs or something?

You have to feel sorry for me.

I mean I probably have silicon for brains.

You know that bastard of a surgeon

must have transferred some

in there from my tits.

If you don't wanna take

me seriously...

You are f***ing nuts, all right?

Hey, Pierre, Pierre.

Just do one thing. Do one thing.

Turn the TV on.

What?

Please.

Turn on the TV.

Here we are.

In the stylish loft...

...of Katya.

America's lightest whit dream.

So Katya, America

really wants to know...

Just why exactly did you rob them

of such a spectacular wreck?

Well, I am going to be

a serious actress now and...

They would have just gotten in

the way of my iambic pentameter.

Did he charge you by the outs?

Who?

The surgeon.

I mean let's be honest, there was a

hell of a lot to excavate in there.

Well, of course. But you know,

I got a deal for doing them both.

A shrewd shopper.

All girls are gonna

make ends meet.

Now would you show us your new tits,

unspectacular as they may be?

You know I can't do that

because I'm a serious actress now.

Nicole Kidman did it.

Really?

In that case.

Why don't you just zoom right in?

What's that from?

My breast surgery.

Never trust a blind surgeon.

Seriously.

What's it from?

Look, we're not here

to talk about me, are we?

Besides, I doubt you'd

really wanna know.

But I do.

No. You know what?

You don't.

All right. Fine, Mr. Tough Guy,

war correspondent.

I'm sorry that I asked you anything

about your miserable little life.

Now can we just get this over with, please?

Because I'm tired.

And bleeding. Don't forget.

Any more dull questions? Shoot.

It was a grenade.

Oh please, Mr. Tintin.

We're not here to talk about you.

And why are we here?

If you're gonna talk philosophy to me,

I will really fall asleep.

You know, I don't find you

funny at all, Ms. Katya?

Why won't you try

becoming a person first?

Instead of a...

Rich spoiled brat.

Who knows how

to turn on the charm.

That's not the same

as having talent.

Which I don't see you

having much of.

I tell you what you're

good at, though.

You're good at lying.

But you lie mostly to yourself.

Are you awake?

Hanging on every word, pap.

Right.

'I'm good at crying.'

Well, you're good at

getting what you want.

A whore...

Call me a whore.

A whore in Sarajevo.

At the Hotel Gainsbourg.

Fell in love with my brother.

Your brother?

Go on.

Yeah.

My brother, Robert,

fell in love with her, too.

Then he goes and

he gets her pregnant.

And he was so happy.

He's a - or he was a -

photographer.

Photojournalist.

He got this really

nice shot of Marica once.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes