Intolerable Cruelty Page #2

you testified that you were

your husband's sexual slave...

for 36 years during

your marriage.

Except for two years when he was

in the navy in Southeast Asia.

And before your marriage,

what was your profession?

I was a hostess for Braniff Airlines.

And what is your husband's profession?

He manufactures staples

and industrial brad tacks.

He's very successful.

How would you describe

your husband's sexual proclivities?

Well, at first he was

a very gentle and tender lover.

But then he became

more and more fixated...

on toys and machinery

and devices of various kinds.

I can't help it.

You don't decide to become bored.

It just happens.

You're just looking for trouble.

It's a midlife crisis.

Look, get yourself a new car.

I have a new car.

I have two new cars and a tab

at the Mercedes dealership.

Torn the house down

twice,

rebuilt

the cabin in Vail,

got three of those, uh...

yard people...

Gardeners? Gardeners. I've

got a man who waxes my jet.

These encounters

were videotaped.

Sometimes

there would be a gizmo.

A gizmo?

He had a device he

called the Intruder.

It was something he had

the engineers at the factory design.

And then he had a prototype built

out of the parts from our vacuum cleaner.

I see.

So the vacuum cleaner wasn't available

to me for several months.

Several months without the appliance.

Yes!

The problem is, everyone is

willing to compromise.

That's the problem with the institution of marriage.

It's based on compromise.

Even through its dissolution.

Mrs. Gutman here,

she's gonna score some points...

concerning her husband's

sexual politics.

Naturally,

we'll try to impeach.

And then the entire process

will find an equilibrium point...

based on the skill

of the individual lawyers.

Then both parties will go home with

their portion of the staple factory.

That's life.

Life is compromise.

That's not life.

That's death.

Struggle and challenge and ultimate destruction

of your opponent... that's life.

Let me ask you something.

Attila the Hun.

Thank you, Mrs. Gutman. Ivan the Terrible.

Henry the Eighth.

Mr. Massey, any questions?

What do they have in common?

Middle name. No. They didn't

just win. They... They...

Mr. Massey?

They destroyed...

Mr. Massey, again I ask,

have you any questions

for the complainant?

I'm sorry, Your Honor. I was

just consulting with an associate.

Now, Mrs. Gutman,

do you know a man

named David Gonzalez?

Well, he's the tennis pro at the club.

The tennis pro?

Then why are your letters addressed to him,

'Dear David and Goliath'?

Whoo! Whoo!

Go, Rexie!

Go, Rexie baby!

Whoo-hoo.!

Whoo!

Rexie!

Cabin seven.

Choo-choo!

Whoo-whoo-whoo!

Choo-choo!

Choo-choo.

Choo-choo!

Choo-choo.

- Choo-choo.

- Choo-choo.

Choo-choo.

- Choo-choo!

- Whoo-whoo!

Choo-choo!

Ahh! Oh! Choo!

Yeah!

I'm gon' nail yo' ass!

Oh, I'm gon' nail yo' ass!

Yo' ass!

I'm gon' nail yo' ass!

Come to papa!

I'm gon'nail ya.!

Yeah, I got ya.!

I'm gon'nail yo'ass.!

Enough, I say!

Hold it.!

I'm gon'nail yo'ass.!

Yeah.! Yeah.!

A silly misunderstanding... Mm-hmm.

Someone nailed yo'ass.!

Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm gon' nail yo' ass!

I'm gon' nail yo' ass!

I'm gon'nail yo' ass!

Yep, I nailed his ass.

I thought he'd outgrown trains.

They never grow up, lady.

They just get tubby.

How charming. An aphorist.

Oh, yeah, I've always

had ample proportions.

But believe you me, it's all muscle.

I'm as hard as a rock.

I'm not one of these cream puff,

sit-behind-the-desk private d*cks.

I'm an ass-nailer.

So I see.

Gym four times a week...

hour and a half, plus stretching,

LifeCycle, LifeStep, LifeCircuit.

Gus Petch don't pussyfoot around.

I must say, for someone in your line of work,

you don't exhibit a great deal of tact.

You want tact, call a tactician. You

want an ass nailed, you call Gus Petch.

Christ, you seem to be

taking it pretty good.

I seen 'em come in here, weep and

wail like Baptists at a funeral.

Like they hired me to prove

their husbands weren't foolin' around.

Don't get me wrong, Mr., um...

Petch.

Gus Petch.

Whilst I don't find this terribly amusing,

I am delighted that you found this material.

This is going to be

my passport to wealth,

independence and freedom.

Sounds like to me

you gon' nail his ass.

Honey? Honey!

Rex, get away from the door.

Honey?

My key doesn't work.

Can we talk about this?

Rex, get away

from the door.

Oh, look, I know

that you're upset, honey.

Rex, for your own safety,

get away from the door.

I don't like having

to set the dogs on you.

Oh, for crying out loud,

if we could... Dogs?

Yes, dogs.

I wanted some security

since I'll be living here alone.

Look, Marylin, can't we have a civilized discussion about this?

Our lawyers can.

Aaah!

You have a discovery hearing at 5.30

for the Maxine Gopnick case.

Discovery? Gopnick?

And a Lance Kelso called.

He read your article about palimony settlements...

Lance Kelso.

in same-sex partnerships...

and would like to schedule an appointment.

Same-sex.

Arthur Yardumian and his tax attorney want to

reschedule their caucus for tomorrow.

Yardumian? Arthur had to fly to

Atlanta for a deadbeat dad hearing.

Atlanta? And your 10:30 is here.

Rex Rexroth.

- Rex Rexroth?

- Real estate. He's okay.

Mr. Rexroth.

Uh, call me Rex.

Please.

Miles Massey.

Please sit. Relax.

Consider this office your office, your haven,

your war room for the duration of the campaign.

Thank you.

Now, sir...

tell me your troubles.

Well...

my wife has me between a

rock and a hard place.

That's her job.

You should respect that.

When I first met Marylin,

we were crazy about each other.

Not emotionally, of course.

Just, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

But then...

then...

Time marches on.

- Ardor cools.

- Yeah.

So, um, we had an understanding.

Whereby?

We could see other people.

Has Mrs. Rexroth pursued the opportunities

implicit in your arrangement?

Uh, I can... I can only assume...

Not in court, you can't.

- Has she retained counsel?

- I don't know.

- She has rottweilers.

- Not a good sign.

And have you yourself exploited

your understood freedom?

There's a lady.

A- Ayoung lady.

She lets me be myself.

Of course.

And your wife is aware

and/or has evidence?

- Video.

- Hah!

To cut to the chase,

forensically speaking,

is there a prenup?

"The fault, dear Brutus, lies not

in our stars, but in ourselves."

Let me ask you this...

What kind of a settlement do you seek?

What are, for you,

the parameters of the possible?

Well, that's the problem.

I can't afford to give her anything.

Nothing?

Yeah, I know that sounds

a little rough, but listen,

I'm about to close a deal

to develop some mini-malls.

I'm mortgaged up to my heinie.

If this deal goes south, I am ruined.

I will lose millions.

So you propose...

that, in spite of demonstrable

infidelity on your part,

your unoffending wife should be

tossed out on her ear?

Well, is that possible?

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