Intolerable Cruelty Page #7

with me once you were free.

I said I wouldn't whilst I wasn't,

which implies no promise once I am.

Noted.

Let me rephrase.

I would be delighted... honored, really...

if you'd...

Howard!

Ow! Howard!

Howard!

You named him after your ex.

I'm sentimental.

Well, I'm free this evening, so I suppose

a little dinner would do no harm.

Le Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin,

Yes. Thank you.

I'll take care of it.

Marylin, this is

a moment to savor.

Yes, we were adversaries,

but we were also professionals.

So let us raise a glass

to friendship.

To victory.

So, how does it feel?

Sorry?

Victory. Independence.

Oh, um...

- Well, frankly, Miles...

- It's not everything you'd hoped for?

I know the feeling.

Independence.

Two-edged sword.

My friend... My best friend...

Sarah Sorkin?

Sarah Battista-O'Flanagan-Sorkin?

The O'Flanagan settlement?

- Ahh.

- Hmm.

- Huh.

- Anyway, three fine settlements.

More money

than she could ever hope to spend.

Yes.

Her vaunted independence.

Don't tell me. She sits around the house, afraid to

see people, afraid to put her portfolio into play.

And only a peptic ulcer

to keep her warm at night.

Yes.

There's a certain point

when you've achieved your goals.

You realize that you're

still not satisfied.

Yes.

We should order.

You know,

I'm not really hungry.

Neither am I.

Shh.

Hello?

Miles?

Hello? Marylin?

Sarah Sorkin just died!

Marylin!

Her ulcer...

perforated.

Infection.

Yes.

Miles?

Yes, Marylin?

She was alone.

She'd been dead for two days

before her Pilates instructor found her.

Marylin, listen to me.

No arguments. No discussions.

I'll have Wrigley meet us at the Wee Kirk o' the Heather.

- Wrigley!

- The vows are from an Arapaho dawn greeting ceremony.

The music is Simon and Garfunkel.

And this is the Massey prenup.

- You the two gettin' married?

- Mr. MacKinnon here will be officiating.

Sorry. Short notice.

Pen.

Marylin, you're welcome

to examine this.

This is the Massey prenup.

As you know, it's ironclad.

We tried to reach Freddy Bender.

We tried to reach Freddy, to have him here for your protection,

but we couldn't find him. I couldn't get him.

Are you two here to get married

or to bullshit?

- So you can't hope to benefit from the marriage?

- Not in any way.

And my wealth is completely...

completely protected?

As if a lead veil

had been drawn across it.

Do you still want to marry me?

More than ever.

Are ya rentin' kilts?

Do you, Miles Longfellow Massey,

of Massey, Myerson, Sloan

and Gurolnick, L.L.P.,

take Marylin Hamilton-Rexroth-Doyle

to be your lawful wedded wife?

I do. Yes. I do. I do.

Let me finish.

Jesus, have you never been married before?

To have and to hold, to love and to cherish,

till death do you part?

I do.

And do you,

Marylin Hamilton-Rexroth-Doyle,

take Miles Longfellow Massey

to be your lawful wedded husband,

To have and to hold, to love and to cherish,

till death do you part?

- I do.

- I now pronounce you man and wife.

I'll take care of you later.

No, no, no, no, no. No.

This is all wrong. Wha...

Is it the kilt?

Do you love me?

More than anything.

Can I trust you?

Yes. You can trust me.

Darling, you're exposed.

A sitting duck.

I hereby declare the 12th Congress

of the National Organization...

of Matrimonial Attorneys Nation wide... open.

As our first order of business, it is a privilege

to call to the podium our keynote speaker.

From the Los Angeles firm of Massey,

Myerson, Sloan and Gurolnick,

a man whose name is synonymous

with bitter disputes and big awards,

Miles Massey.

Thank you, Branco.

In the world of...

In the world of matrimonial law,

there are...

In the world of matrimonial law,

there are multiple tactics...

Friends,

this morning I stand before you

a very different Miles Massey...

than the one that

addressed you last year...

on the disposition of marital assets

following murder/suicide.

I wish to talk to you today

not about technical matters of law.

I wish to talk to you

about something more important.

I wish to talk to you

from the heart...

because today...

for the first time in my life,

I stand before you... naked...

vulnerable...

and in love.

Love.

It's a word

we matrimonial lawyers avoid.

Funny, isn't it? We're frightened of this

emotion, which is, in a sense,

the seed of our livelihood.

Well, today Miles Massey

is here to tell you...

that love need

cause us no fear.

Love need cause us no shame.

Love is...

good.

Love is good.

I am, of course, aware that these remarks

will be received here with cynicism.

Cynicism, that cloak that

advertises our indifference...

and hides all human feeling.

Well, I'm here to tell you that that cynicism

which we think protects us...

in fact destroys.

Destroys love,

destroys our clients,

and, ultimately,

destroys ourselves.

Colleagues, when our clients come to us

confused and angry and hurting...

because their flame of love

is guttering and threatens to die,

do we seek to extinguish that flame

so that we can sift...

through the smoldering wreckage

for our paltry reward,

or do we fan

this precious flame,

this most precious flame,

back into loving, roaring life?

Do we counsel fear or trust?

Do we seek to destroy or build?

Do we meet our clients'problems

with cynicism...

or with love?

The choice is, of course,

each of ours.

For my part, I've made the leap of love,

and there's no going back.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is

the last time I will address you...

as the president of N.O.M.A. N...

or as a member.

I intend to devote myself to pro bono

work in East Los Angeles...

or... one of those other...

God bless you all.

I love you, man.

So, Wrigley, I'm gonna be relinquishing

my partnership in Massey, Myerson.

If you'd care to join me in my

new endeavor, I'd be delighted.

Of course, I can't offer you the same kind of financial

remuneration you've grown accustomed to,

but the work'll have

to serve as its own reward.

Barkeep, we'll have two of your finest scotches.

That's the, uh...

- I propose a toast. Barkeep!

- That's... That's the soap that used to belong to, uh...

Now, you'll be serving in a junior capacity, of course.

Donovan Donaly.

- Miles, that's, uh... that's, uh... uh...

- It'll be a small operation, a boutique.

Let me tell you what they called me

in medical school.

The... I don't see why

my leadership skills should...

Howard?

Mackenzie the Mechanical Marvel.

It's Howard.

You see, I have no nerves.

He's not an oil tycoon.

An actor.

Doctor, this is highly unusual.

So Marylin married a soap actor.

So she's... she's... poor.

Get yourself some clean scrubs

and have them prepare the O.R.

- Well, thank God you have the prenup.

- I have no prenup.

- You have no prenup.

- I have no prenup.

You have no prenup.

Thanks.

Okay.

- Marylin?

- Oh, hello, Miles.

- Going back to L.A.?

- Yes.

Look, Miles, I think it's only fair

to warn you that after a decent interval,

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