Irma La Douce Page #10

a thing as the code of the underworld.

Desk sergeant? Connect me

with Inspector Lefvre.

Just tell him I want to

squeal on a colleague.

Hey.

- You!

- I beg your pardon?

- You're supposed to be dead, murdered.

- Are you quite sure?

- I saw it with my own eyes.

- Sorry to disappoint you, old boy...

...but other than a headache, I'm feeling

absolutely chapper, I mean, chipper.

We've been dragging the river for the

last nine months. Where have you been?

A fair question. Now, let me see.

I haven't the foggiest.

All I can remember is that the climate was

rather wet, but the fishing was quite good.

Now, I trust that that clears things up

satisfactorily, so cheerio and carry on.

Are you all right?

The pains are coming

every two minutes now.

Just try to hold on a little longer.

Where's the groom?

Don't worry. If worst comes to worst,

I'll marry you myself.

- You look lovely.

- Later, later.

Nestor, wilt thou take Irma

here present for thy lawful wife...

...according to the rite

of our holy mother, the Church?

I will.

Irma, wilt thou take Nestor

here present for thy lawful husband...

...according to the rite of our holy mother?

I will.

Ego conjungo vos in matrimonium, in

nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sanctis.

Amen.

Adjutorium nostrum in nomine Domini,

qui fecit coelum et terram.

Domine, exaudi orationem meam...

... et clamor meus ad te veniat.

Dominus vobiscum

et cum spirito tuo. Oremus.

- With this ring, I thee wed.

- With this ring, I thee wed.

- And I pledge thee my fidelity.

- And I pledge thee my fidelity.

Just a minute, Patou.

I wanna congratulate you.

It was touching.

- Awful nice of you to show up.

- We're planning a reception for you.

- At the police station.

- My wife is about to have...

A hoax has been perpetrated.

I'll get to the bottom of it.

- You can't arrest me in a church.

- Arrest you?

I want you to rejoin the force

and help us solve this case.

Rejoin the force? Gee, I'd like that.

Not unless I can have my old job back,

at the playground.

Playground? Work for

peanuts and jellybeans?

I'm crazy about children.

I'm about to have one myself.

I just had it. Excuse me.

It's a girl. Smoothest delivery I ever had.

She's beautiful. You delivered the baby?

Why not? I was chief obstetrician in

Equatorial Africa, under Dr Schweitzer.

Nestor.

- They're not taking you away?

- You can call me Officer Patou again.

- What happened?

- Not now.

Oh, let me hold her.

Oh, it's gonna be such fun

bringing her up.

I can put her in organdie

dresses and pinafores.

And I'm gonna get her some

green stockings and a puppy.

Yeah.

Oh, no. No green stockings. No puppy.

- No?

- No.

Cheeribye.

But that's another story.

Marisa Castle de Joncaire

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote