Is That a Gun in Your Pocket?

- How's the baby thing coming?

- Nothing yet.

What are the odds two

latinos can't get pregnant?

We're gonna go see a specialist.

Get some fertility drugs.

- You know a woman

in Houston did that,

and she had septuplets.

- Septuplets, holy sh*t.

- Yeah.

- How many is it?

- Seven.

- Seven holy sh*t.

- Yeah each of them

weighed 18 ounces.

- I eat steaks bigger than that.

- Psst, 7 'o clock.

I get first shot.

Morning deer.

- I thought it was on vibrate.

Hello.

- Louis.

- I'm sure he'll

be here any minute.

- He's got the truck mom.

It wouldn't kill you to

go somewhere without him.

- I go lots of

places without him.

- Right.

- All right let's just go.

Lance get off the

rv we're leaving.

Come on.

- Trying to figure out

where to put the dish.

- We're not

getting a satellite dish.

- Ah come on mom they're free.

- Nothing's free Lance.

Now get down before

you break your neck.

- There it

is, man oh man.

- Oh not this grace

land sh*t again.

Cyrus rockford is not the king.

- He's the king around here.

Called

Presley Tennessee.

- Well rockford ain't

exactly Memphis.

You think he's really dead

and people are just pretending

he's alive.

- Elvis?

- Cyrus.

- That is such a

ridiculous rumor.

- Yeah but no one's

seen the guy in years.

I mean isn't that strange?

- Yeah of course it's strange.

Maybe he's got one of those

Howard Hugh things going on.

- All that money must

just rot your brain.

- Oh sh*t.

- Would you stop that?

It's getting old.

- You get a much closer

view through this thing.

Oh yeah.

- Quit it perv.

- Thank you buddy.

- Yep.

- I'm sorry hun,

I lost track of the time.

- Yeah I know hunting

is Glenn time,

but you really need to--

- I texted you.

- Yeah I know you texted me

when the game was over.

- Hey did we win?

- 13, nine.

Kieth recorded it.

- All right.

Well I can watch it back later.

- I drew a bath for you.

- It's Sunday honey.

Supposed to be a day of rest.

And you know you're

not supposed to call me

when we're hunting.

- But I'm in the

middle of my cycle.

My eggs are ready.

- So are mine.

- Didn't you have

breakfast this morning?

- Yeah about two hours ago.

I mean it's almost

lunch.

I feel like a piece of meat.

- I'm hungry.

Ooh oh there he is.

- I was thinking since

we're not going to break up

in the next three weeks,

why do we have to wait?

- We've been going out

for over 11 months kieth,

what's three more weeks?

- Exactly.

- I told you I wanted to wait

until we'd been

going out for a year.

You can wait a little longer.

Maybe I can tide you

over for a while.

- Oh yes.

- You'll wake my parents.

- Thanks hun.

- Breakfast Sandy.

- I'll pick something up later.

- Sit down and eat Sandra.

- Mom.

- I know what goes on with

you girls and your dieting,

no daughter of mine is

going to be anorexic.

- I'm not anorexic.

You're so clueless.

- She's definitely not anorexic.

I've seen her naked.

- Lance you're not helping.

- Lance close your

mouth when you chew

for gods sake.

You sound like an

air compressor.

- Later.

- All right the three

branches of the us government,

what are they?

Kristen.

- Republican, democrat

and independent.

- Those are three

political parties.

Executive, legislative,

and judiciary.

All right, all right.

Let's start with

the legislative.

What two bodies make up

the legislative branch?

- Men and women.

- Kristen I'm starting to

think you fell out of the crib

when you were a baby.

Now come on someone's

got to know this.

How about you Sandy?

Come on keely.

20 years ago I took this

same class with your momma,

and by the way she was

a straight a student.

Some of her must have

rubbed off on you now.

- Well I sure hope not,

otherwise I'd be at home

now making my brothers bed.

- What up Lance?

- What up Timmy.

- You bring it?

- I couldn't find the key.

- So full of sh*t.

- Dude I'm telling you,

he got it in a gun show

in Dallas last week

- I'll believe it when I see it.

Besides how hard is it

to find the key anyway?

I know exactly where

my dad hides his.

- Well I think my mom hid it.

- Doesn't make it tougher.

Probably in their room.

- Come on get a

wiggle on ladies.

- Or in the kitchen.

- The kitchen.

- We're

talking today about how

to keep the romance

alive in your marriage.

- Have an affair.

- Maybe we should

turn the TV off.

- Let's just wait

for the commercial.

- To pick up the

kids from soccer practice,

why not make

appointments for romance.

- Great more crap we gotta do.

- You must not

like it very much?

- Like what?

- Sex.

- Honestly I'd rather just

have a banana boat from the dq.

- I used to love getting

the high hard one.

- Mother.

- Oh stop being such

a prude, Shirley.

You could probably use a

little action yourself.

- I do just fine

thank you very much.

- Oh yeah,

how often do you and bill do it?

- Not that it's any of

your business mother

but since we're airing

our dirty laundry,

I'd say at least once a

month or every three weeks.

- That sucks.

- It's not the quantity,

it's the quality.

- I'm sure that sucks too.

You should be a

shamed of yourself.

I don't think a day

went by for 50 years

that your father and I,

god rest his soul,

didn't f*** each other silly.

- I think I'm gonna be sick.

- Okay Jenna it's your turn.

Fess up how often you and Glenn

have sex?

- I thought we were going to

discuss sense and sensibility.

And anyway Glenn's

going to be home soon,

I gotta get supper started.

- Oh it's that bad huh?

- A couple times a week.

- Respectable.

- But.

Do you like it.

- Well yeah.

- Good lord that's a

ringing endorsement.

- No I wish it was

more spontaneous.

You know the way it used to be.

- How about we start a website,

anisochromatic

I bet we'd make a fortune.

- You'd make a lot more with

bombastically

- oh wow yeah.

- Lance asleep?

- Ah-huh.

- And Sandy.

- She's on the phone with kieth.

I really don't

think it's healthy

for her to be spending

so much time with him.

- Oh they're teenagers,

that's what it was all about,

remember.

- I'm dreading her coming

to us saying she's moving

to San Antonio with kieth,

instead of going to college.

- She's a smart kid.

She'll make the right decisions

- well I just don't want

her to look back later

and have regret.

- Hey you know what I heard

through the grapevine today?

- What?

- They're gonna make me a vp.

- Oh honey that's great.

- And I was thinking that

we can you know celebrate.

- Did you now?

I saw this expert

on TV talking about

keeping the passion

alive in your marriage,

he was suggesting an exercise.

Where we just keep

touching each other.

- And then?

- And then we get all

excited wanting each other.

- And.

- And then nothing.

- Nothing.

- Right.

- Then what's the point?

- Just for something different.

- What's wrong

with what we have?

- Nothing's wrong

with what we have.

I just thought we could

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