Is That a Gun in Your Pocket? Page #2

mix things up a bit.

- Look if you're

not in the mood,

just say you're not in the mood.

- No I am in the mood.

I thought it might be fun.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- Sure.

- Okay.

Okay stop, you

know I'm ticklish.

- Hey if I have to endure

the torture of this exercise,

so do you.

- Stop, stop lets just have sex.

- Whoa.

- Told you.

A mauser c96.

- Holy

sh*t is it loaded?

- No.

- Let me see it.

- Whoa dude what are you doing?

You'll get us busted.

- Jesus.

They killed Otis.

- Well luckily it's

just a flesh wound.

Otis must have passed out

when he saw all that blood.

I guess the buttocks is the

meatiest part of the body,

but the real issue here is,

this could have been

much, much worse.

- Are you listening Lance,

you could have killed someone.

- Yes ma'am.

- All right then,

as long as we

understand each other.

- Thanks sheriff.

- Thanks sheriff.

- Thanks bill.

- I'm going to have to

suspend him for a while folks.

- We understand.

- Lance what on earth

were you thinking?

- I just wanted to

show Timmy the gun.

- Well you know we can't have

something like that in school,

especially will all

these shootings nowadays.

It is a beauty though.

- Yeah.

- Whee that grip is sweet.

Walnut?

- Rosewood.

- Bet that put you

back a few peso's huh?

- Oh just a few.

- Well again we can't

have 'em in school.

- We understand.

- You young man aught to know

better than to take a fire arm

anywhere without checking

the chamber first.

- I tell him that

a thousand times.

- Kids.

We all good?

- Thanks Eric.

- Doctor said you should be

out of here in about a day

or two at the most.

- I told you that

intersection was dangerous.

- You were shot dad,

you weren't hit by a bus.

- This time.

- Hey Barb.

Hey Otis, hey Stan.

- Sorry mrs Archer.

- How you feeling there big guy?

- I'd be a lot better

if someone brought me my

cheery jello.

- Good lord he's fine.

- I'm so sorry about this.

Lance is not allowed

out of the house

until he graduates.

- I'm just glad he's

not a better shot.

- Got your ass pretty good.

- He just wants to

be like you Glenn.

How would you have felt

if Timmy were over here

and Lance accidentally shot

him with one of your guns?

Or shot himself.

- I would have felt terrible.

- But it's not going to happen.

- But it could.

I wanna get rid

of the guns Glenn.

Everyone keeps saying how

somebody aught to do something

about all those

shootings out there.

Well you know what,

every avalanche

starts with a single snow flake.

Maybe, maybe I'm that snowflake.

- You're just a plain flake

if you think I'm

giving up my guns.

Hunting with the boys

is my only outlet.

- Killing defenseless

animals is your only outlet.

- I don't get a great book club.

- What kind of an

analogy is that?

- First one that came to mind.

- Then how about you just

get rid of your hand guns?

- I love my hand guns.

Hey no come on.

Hun, honey no need

to fight about this.

It has been a rough day.

I will talk to Lance

again tomorrow.

- Lance.

- Well

what did you expect?

- I don't know,

be listened to for one.

- Asking men in rockford

to give up his gun

is like asking him to

cut of his.

- Oh hey Wally.

- Hey Jenna.

Oh I heard about

Lance shooting Otis,

nasty business.

- You know I needed

to ask you a question,

as the mayor.

- Oh wait let me put

on my mayors hat.

Excuse me.

- I was wondering about

maybe getting rid of

some of the guns in town.

- What do you mean?

- Well I don't know really.

I was hoping you being

the mayor and all,

you might have some ideas.

- Well one idea might

be to lock up your guns,

so your kids can't get to 'em.

- Well what if people

forget to lock 'em up,

or what if the

kid finds the key.

Like mine did.

- Well we can't plan for

every eventuality can we?

Anything else?

- No.

- 10's or 20's?

- 20's are fine.

- Okay.

I gotta go.

I have to get some.

I'll call you okay.

Bye.

- Hey Jenna.

- Hey Byron.

- Missed a spot.

- So did you.

In your underwear.

- Weed.

- Quit it b*tch.

- To you'll what?

Shoot me.

- Yeah I know.

Yeah I have it right here.

- Answer the phone.

- But I'm talking,

just hold on a second.

- Chop, chop.

- Piece of sh*t.

Damn piece of sh*t.

Pretty cool car huh.

- I really don't understand

why you're getting

so bent out of shape

about all this.

- You know I don't

ask you for much,

but I am asking you now.

- I'm sorry hon,

can't we just agree to disagree.

- No.

- All right I'll make you a deal

you get everyone in town

to give up their guns

I will too.

- You know that's

not gonna happen.

- Then why should

it happen for me.

- Fine, but if you

won't do things for me,

I'm not gonna do things for you.

- Fine.

Like what?

- Like cooking for you.

- I didn't starve to death

before we were married,

I can fend for myself darling.

- Well I hope you can do

other things by yourself too.

- Meaning?

- Meaning,

I'm not gonna have sex

with you until you do this.

- Really?

- Really.

- I'm not gonna be forced

into doing something

that I don't wanna do.

And if you don't wanna have sex,

suit yourself.

I can go just as long

as you can without it.

- Guns or p*ssy, sort of poetic.

- Mother must you be so prude?

- Well.

- You got guts girl,

I'll give you that.

But Jen honey I hope

you didn't do it for me.

- I know that Barb,

the truth is i

did it for my kids

and everyone else's kids.

I don't want anyone

else to get hurt.

You could join me.

- Join you how?

- Like in a protest.

No not a protest,

like a crusade.

You all could join me.

- What kind of crusade?

- To rid rockford of

every gun in town.

- I'm sorry but she's crazy.

- What exactly do

you have in mind?

- We get every woman

in town to agree

not to sleep with any man,

until they get

rid of their guns.

- I don't know sugar,

I like having my gun

around for protection.

I mean you don't expect

your house to catch on fire,

but you still have

a smoke detector.

- Come on Shirley,

when was the last time

anyone in this town

needed a gun?

- Yeah but honey, it

just ain't about need,

I like my guns.

- So does everyone else,

but they're just too dangerous.

- I'm trying to

have a baby Jenna.

- Connie this is for your baby.

- Yeah but even

if we all agreed,

I mean how are we going to

get everyone else on board?

I know a lot of

women in this town

that won't go along with this.

- We'll just have to try

to change their minds too.

- Well I do love me

my Smith and Wesson

but if getting rid of them

means I don't have to have sex

with Stan anymore, sign me up.

But how would we, you know,

monitor the situation?

- We help each other.

Every woman in town becomes

part of a support system.

- When you say no sex,

what do you mean exactly?

- What are you Bill Clinton?

- She's right we've got to be

specific about these matters.

I'd say no bjs.

Or ass f***ing either.

- Oh how.

- What about cuddling?

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