Is That a Gun in Your Pocket? Page #8

I'm gonna sit down.

- So 10 million

dollars to the town

and everything goes

back the way it was,

is that about it mr lafontein?

- That's about it mr rockford.

- But something doesn't

seem quite right to me,

you come waltzing into our town,

waving all that money and

you act like you got a dog

in this fight.

- We all do.

It's called Liberty.

- Amen.

- No it's called lobbying.

You know what you are Dwayne?

You're a walking,

talking, breathing gun.

A hired gun.

You're job is to make sure

that the manufacturers

can make and sell as

many guns as possible.

You're no different from

a corner drug dealer

pushing crack for a cartel.

So I'm gonna offer this

town 10 million dollars

if the men of rockford

will dispose of their guns.

- Now hold on, hold on.

Mr rockford we had always heard

that you are an avid hunter,

that no animal in Africa

was safe from you.

- Yes I have done

my share of killing,

but now I don't believe in

harming any sentient being.

- Mr rockford you are the

name sake of this town,

would you rather have it turned

into the peoples Republic

of New York City?

- Better that, than

a monastery full

of angry blue-balled monks.

- Make it 11 million.

- There we go.

- 11 it is.

I feel like I'm on shark tank.

- 12.

- Oh come on.

- Yeah.

- No you are starting

to aggravate me son.

I am trying to reach.

Oh son of a b*tch,

it's gonna take me 10

lifetimes to get there.

Dwayne, I'm gonna see your

12 and raise you three.

That's 15 million dollars.

What say you now?

- I have to make a phone call.

- Yeah, I'll wait.

- Wally.

I would like to make

a statement if I may.

For the first time

in a long time

I remember why my marriage was,

is so important to me

and while I'm honored

that so many of you

want me to run for mayor,

I feel I can be more effective

continuing this fight

without having to run rockford.

Well the truth is I may not

be worthy of your trust.

Last night Glenn and I...

- Glock 22.

- Jesus what the?

- It feels good,

but you know what some how

it doesn't feel as good

as it used to.

And no where near

as good as my wife.

And darling you wanna be mayor,

hell you be mayor.

You got my vote.

Mr rockford.

That's just one gun,

but it's a start.

And every avalanche starts

with a single snowflake.

Right baby?

I'll be at home destroying

the rest of them.

See you later.

- Traitor.

- Wait a minute

where are you going?

- I miss my wife Jake,

we were trying to make a baby

before all this craziness.

I'd like to keep trying.

- Wait a minute guys

where where you going?

Come on don't wimp out now.

We're down to the home stretch.

If we cave in now they win.

Oh come on, Wally.

- Hey it's 15 million dollars

and jobs back Jake.

- You can have the jobs back,

but just so we're clear

you don't get the 15 until

all the guns are gone.

- Oh yeah that's clear.

- What about bb guns?

- And they say there's no such

thing as a stupid question.

- Is that a no.

- That's a no.

- I liked him better

when he was dead.

- Hello champ.

What you doing out here?

- Thinking.

- Listen I wanted to thank you,

for talking to me yesterday.

Telling me how you

felt about things.

I know that isn't always

an easy thing to do.

And I want you to

know it affected me.

A lot.

One of the reasons

i gave up my guns.

- But how about the

balance of power shifting

and all that?

- Well Lance the power of

power isn't as delicate

a thing as you might think.

See having the guts

to be vulnerable

and admit that you're wrong,

that's a sign of strength,

not weakness.

You understand?

- I think so.

- Good.

- Is sex really the most

important thing to us men?

- Absolutely son.

- 44 days after the sex

strike of rockford began

the strike appears to

be unofficially over.

All but 252 citizens have agreed

to dispose of their firearms.

Towns people say they

are still working

on convincing those holdouts.

95 of whom are women

to join the converted.

In the meantime all

indications are that things

I rockford are returning

back to normal.

- Honey I'm home.

oh damn.

These are for you.

- And this is for the flowers.

- What about a vase?

- Are you a stallion or are

you a little b*tch mare?

Want me to whip you

in terms of shape?

You want me to whip

you into shape,

you little sh*t?

What the hell kind

of sound is that?

You sound like an old woman

coughing up a hair ball,

you little sh*t.

- bill

- god damn liberals,

what the f***.

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