ISRA 88 Page #3

---

ship doesn't fly itself?

Why would they

leave that to you?

Don't push that one! No1.

-What are you talking about?

-let's see what happens.

-Now, isn't that against procedure?

I certainly don't wanna

find out what happens.

-Oh, it's good for you. Risks are good.

-Shut up.

You don't do any call around here.

Just because you realize you're

useless, doesn't mean that I am!

I fly this ship!

-You hit me!

You didn't push the button.

We're still moving!

Aren't we?

None of this stuff matters.

Everything is pre-programmed. We are moving

through space and we'll never stop.

We keep going through the same

motions over and over again.

And we're not changing anything.

-What did you do?

Where did you hide the sardines?

-I sent them into space.

You already hit me.

-Country smokehouse jerky.

Good in the home or on the trail.

Country smokehouse.

-Can I get everyone's attention, please?

Uh...

I know that... uh...

history books are going to re... recount

the... the two-manned mission

to the end of the universe... uh...

But... we just... we wanna make

sure that... that you all know

that it's because of your

contributions and your hard work,

that's what put us there.

Alright, so... um... a toast?

- Sounds good.

- Yeah...

Raise your little booze bags.

- [all together] To space!

- Yeah!

- Like that?

- Oh.

- Oh, it's bad.

- Alright, congratulations.

- Congratulations.

- Congratulations.

-Ah, what a job well done.

- (Whispering) To space.

-MAN:
Good job. Really good.

- In 1814 we took a

little trip Along with.

Colonel Jackson down the

mighty Mississippi.

We took a little bacon and

we took a little beans

and we caught the bloody British

in the town of New Orleans.

We fired our guns and the

British kept a-comin'.

There wasn't nigh' as many

as there was a while ago.

We fired once more and

they began to runnin'

On down the Mississippi

to the Gulf of Mexico.

We looked down the river and

we seed the British comin'.

And there must have been a hundred

of 'em beatin' on the drum.

They stepped so high and

they made the bugles ring.

We stood behind our cotton

bales and didn't say a thing.

We fired our guns and the

British kept a-comin'.

There wasn't nigh' as many

as there was a while ago.

We fired once more and

they began to runnin'

On down the Mississippi

to the Gulf of Mexico.

Old Hickory said we could

take 'em by surprise

if we didn't fire our muskets

'till we looked 'em in the eyes.

We held our fire till we

seed their faces well

then we opened up our squirrel

guns and gave 'em... Well we

fired our guns and the

British kept a-comin'.

There wasn't nigh' as many

as there was a while ago.

We fired once more and

they began to runnin'

On down the Mississippi

to the Gulf of Mexico.

Yeah they ran through the briers

and they ran through the brambles.

And they ran through the bushes

where a rabbit couldn't go.

They ran so fast that the

hounds couldn't catch 'em.

On down the Mississippi

to the Gulf of Mexico.

We fired our cannon till

the barrel melted down.

So we grabbed an alligator

and we fought another round.

We filled his head with cannonballs

'n' powdered his behind,

and when we took the powder

off, the gator lost its mind.

We fired our guns and the

British kept a-comin'.

There wasn't nigh' as many

as there was a while ago.

We fired once more and

they began to runnin'

On down the Mississippi

to the Gulf of Mexico.

Yeah they ran through the briers

and they ran through the brambles.

And they ran through the bushes

where a rabbit couldn't go.

They ran so fast that the

hounds couldn't catch 'em.

On down the Mississippi

to the Gulf of Mexico.

Hut, hut, three, four.

Sound off, three. four.

Hut, hut, three, four.

Sound off, three. four.

- Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane

Ain't got time to take a fast train.

Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home.

My baby just-a wrote me a letter

I don't care how much money I gotta spend.

-Five... six... seven...

eight... nine... ten....

- Announcer:
Country smokehouse: a proper

man needs a proper meal.

Like hickory smokehouse kielbasa.

Country smokehouse.

-Hey.

Hello?

Hello?

- Announcer:
There's no better

way to thank you father-in-law

for a great hunting trip than a gift

basket from Country Smokehouse.

Specializing in wild game

and domestic products.

That's Country Smokehouse.

-You been there all day?

-I didn't do anything today.

-Everyone's allowed to play hooky.

Every once in a while.

Man on T.V.:
I don't know.

Every time I get out

there, something happens

to bring me down.

I don't care for myself.

I've gone there a long time with me.

- (man on radio) Gimme a

ticket for an aeroplane.

Ain't got time to

take a fast train.

Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home.

My baby just-a wrote me a letter.

I don't care how much money I gotta spend.

Got to get back to my baby again.

Lonely days are gone, I'ma goin' home.

My baby just wrote me a letter.

Well she wrote me a letter

'cause she couldn't live

without me no more.

Listen mister can't

you see I go to

get back to my baby

once more, anyway.

Give me a ticket for an aeroplane.

Ain't got time to take a fast train.

Lonely days are gone, I'ma goin' home.

My baby just-a wrote me a letter.

- Tell me you're gonna fix

that pinball machine today.

- she wrote me a letter Told me she

couldn't live without me no more.

Listen mister can't you see I gotta

get back to my baby once more, anyway.

Give me a ticket for an aeroplane

Ain't got time to take a fast train.

Lonely days are gone, I'ma goin' home.

My baby just wrote me a letter.

-singsongy:
I'm here for you.

- Man on TV:
What am I talking about?

I got the

name of it. There's no

name on that for me.

- -Man on TV 2:
Rock.

Man on TV 3:
Wait.

-You fix that hunk of junk yet?

- Man in TV:
rob the same family.

- Nope.

I made this neat necklace.

And look...

I made us matching bracelets.

-Take those off.

You look like one of those

lame baseball players.

- Come on, now. I

worked hard on these.

They're supposed to

relieve pain or something.

WHISPERS:
I thought I lost you.

-Fed your eels today.

-There's an automated feeding system.

- MAN ON TV:
And now, the Country

Smokehouse Comedy Hour: Abe Anderson.

With the stars Harold

Richards and Mary Anderson.

-Mary!

- You're late from work,

darling. What happened?

- Never mind them, Mary.

Where is my supper?

- But Abe...

- No buts...

Mary, we've been married

almost ten years now.

I thought you knew this.

There's one thing

a man needs after a long day of work.

- Abe...

- One thing he's been looking

forward to all day.

You see, a proper man needs a proper

meal when he gets home from work.

- Abe...

- Now, Mary,

If that man doesn't have

a hot supper waiting

for him when he gets

home from work,

you tell me what gets him through the day!

-Are you finished, Abe?

- Yes.

I suppose I got my point across.

- Wonderful.

The bird's in the oven along

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes