It Happened on 5th Avenue Page #2

Season #Winter

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Farrow here is flying to Washington tonight

to find out what they consider reasonable-

Your pills. Mr. O'Connor.

Oh. Mm.

- Ah. And now. gentlemen-

- Excuse me.

There's a long-distance call

from your daughter's school.

- Not now. I'll call her back.

- It isn't your daughter.

It's the headmistress.

and she says it's very urgent.

Mull over that project for a moment.

gentlemen. I'll be right with you.

- I'll take it in here.

- Yes. sir.

MAN:

I don't think...

[MEN CHATTERING]

Hello?

Yes. this is Mr. O'Connor.

Trudy was missing

from class this morning.

I'm terribly afraid

she's run away. Mr. O'Connor.

Well. I don't understand this.

Yes. yes. Do that.

And I'll keep you posted.

Thanks.

Goodbye.

FARROW:

Mr. O'Connor. anything I can do?

O'CONNOR:
Do you suppose she's gone

to her mother?

I have no idea. but I doubt it.

Farrow. phone our legal department

in New York.

I want the best detective agency

they can get.

Check every hotel. every airport. railroad

and bus station in New York. Chicago...

...and all points west.

Tell New York to keep in constant touch

with me till they find her.

[SHAVER WHIRRING]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING O VER RADIO]

[WHIRRING AND MUSIC STOP]

Hey. Mac.

Mac. quit playing with the light switch.

[MUSIC RESUMES]

Hey. what goes on here?

Jim. what time is it?

Four minutes to 9.

Can't be them.

It's too early.

It can't be who? And who's too early?

Never mind.

[TURNS RADIO OFF]

[FOOTSTEPS APPRO ACHING]

Did you say you lived here alone?

- Yes.

- Well. you've got company.

Somebody's coming up the stairs.

[WHISPERS]

JIM:
Well. you've got pretty good taste.

haven't you?

Come on. Shed that mink.

- Who are you?

- A fur trapper.

- Come on. give.

- Get your hands off me.

Okay. sister. you wanna play rough.

I said. take it off.

[SIGHS]

What are you people doing here?

Oh. we just hang around

to see that little girls like you...

...don't swipe

great big mink coats like this.

You get out of here

before I call the police.

You'll call the police?

[CHUCKLES]

That I've gotta see.

There's a phone. Go on. call them.

Oh. just a moment. Uh-

Jim. I'd like to speak to you outside

for just a minute.

Excuse us. miss.

[MOUTHS WORDS]

Now. remember.

no tricks or we'll call the cops.

Psst.

- Say. what's the idea?

- Shh.

What's the idea of you

grabbing the phone?

Jim. I'm afraid we're in no position

to let her call the police.

Why not?

Because the young lady.

no matter who she is...

...has as much right here as we have.

I don't get it.

Aren't you a guest of O'Connor?

Well. yes.

Except that Mr. O'Connor

doesn't know about it.

JIM:

But you're a friend of his. aren't you?

That is. if anybody

can be a friend of that guy.

McKEEVER:

Never laid eyes on him.

Our paths have never crossed.

You live here without permission?

- Mm-hm.

- But how do you get away with it?

Oh. it's not hard at all.

Mr. O'Connor boards up the house

and goes to his estate...

...in Virginia on November 1 st.

I move in on November 3rd.

JIM:

But suppose he comes back?

McKEEVER:
Oh-ho.

He never comes back till March 15th.

I leave on March 13th.

It works out very well that way.

[CHUCKLES]

Why. you old possum.

You're bound to get caught.

You know that.

They never even came close

in all the three winters I've been here.

I never do any harm.

As a matter of fact. I do a lot of good.

I dust off the furniture

every once in a while.

I wind the clocks.

You take these clothes I'm wearing.

If it weren't for me.

they'd be in the closet gathering moths.

[CHUCKLES]

I take them out for an airing every day.

Say. what are we gonna do about her?

McKEEVER:

You leave it to me.

I'll give her a lecture and send her home.

Come on.

- Young lady. we've decided that-

- Please don't call the police.

I know I shouldn't have broken in.

But well. I'm applying for a job tomorrow.

and I needed a coat so-

That's a fine excuse.

It isn't an excuse. It's true.

Look. I'll show you.

"Wanted.

GirI with personality to sell sheet music.

Must play piano.

Apply Times Square Melody Shop. "

Oh. sure.

Sure. you've gotta wear a mink coat

when you work in a music shop.

They play those Frank Sinatra records.

chills run up and down your spine.

It gets cold.

You have to wear a mink coat.

It's the first time

I ever did a thing like this.

Please don't call the police.

Young lady. don't you know

there's a law against breaking...

...into other people's homes?

I do but I was alone

and hungry and desperate.

I...

[SIGHS]

I'll get some water.

Yeah. hurry.

[TAPPING HAND]

Here.

You feel better?

Much.

Say. when was the last time you ate?

I'd rather not talk about it.

McKEEVER:

Oh. where do you live?

In Dubuque.

with my 13 brothers and sisters.

Fourteen children?

Well. the neighbors must call

your house the Stork Club.

These cookies are very nice.

Won't you have one?

The gates patrol.

- Out of sight. quick.

- Here we go again.

Now. wait a minute. Get these dishes.

Pull them up.

Hurry.

Now. into the kitchen. Quick.

McKEEVER:

Get in here. Quick.

Shh.

I thought I heard something.

It's the gates patrol.

They generally come around

every night at 10.

They're a little early tonight.

Yeah. but why the blackout?

Well. I've arranged a gadget

at the front door...

...so that all the lights go out

when the door opens.

Why do we have to hide in the ice box?

Young lady. you may as well know.

I'm an interloper here. the same as you are.

Oh.

- You mean. you go through this every night?

- Yeah.

You get used to it.

In fact. it's kind of fun after a while.

[CHUCKLES]

Hello?

This is Brady. reporting.

Okay at the O'Connor house.

How'd you like to live in a joint like this?

What? And have room

for the rest of my wife's relations? Oh.

Here. put this on.

Thanks.

Anybody in that house?

Who are you?

I'm looking for a girI.

Michael O'Connor's daughter.

She ain't in there.

That joint's as empty

as a sewing basket in a nudist camp.

Young lady. we have decided

not to turn you over to the police.

Oh. I was sure you wouldn't.

How can I thank you. Mr...?

McKeever is the name.

Aloysius T. McKeever.

And this is Jim Bullock.

You know. New York is no place

for a kid without friends.

I'm not a kid.

And besides. I have friends.

I have you and Mr. McKeever.

Well. yeah. but you're used

to a home and a big family.

Besides. the other 13 kids

might get lonesome.

Say. you're not all planning

to come here. are you?

[CHUCKLES]

Oh. no.

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