It Happened to Jane Page #9

since I let you go home to think.

Have you thought?

I've been so busy.

You know the orders that came through?

We're delivering the lobsters ourselves.

And we're leaving in just a few minutes.

You're what? How?

Well, we're taking the old 97...

and Uncle Otis is going to be the engineer,

and George is going to be the fireman.

What towns, Janey?

Well, we have about eight deliveries, Larry,

from Marshalltown to the Bronx.

I'll catch the first plane and I'll be waiting

at the station for your answer.

Wear something blue.

Blue?

Our hands are tied.

She asked for a routing.

We have to give her one.

We use the tracks of other lines

and they use ours.

- We have to route her, huh?

- Absolutely.

Wait a minute.

I think we can route the little lady.

- Harris.

- Yes, sir.

Send this to Cape Anne.

Routing of 97.

Cape Anne to Boston

via Middleboro, Kingsville, Loomis.

- But that's west, sir.

- Shut up.

- Dow City, Malcolm, Petrie...

- But they don't want to go...

Harris, get out of here!

That's exactly what I intend to do.

- Weaver.

- Yes, sir.

Send this routing.

Cape Anne to Boston

via Middleboro, Kingsville, Loomis...

Dow City, Malcolm, Petrie.

We're getting there, boy. Pour it on.

- Hi, First Selectman.

- Hi, Clarence.

- Say, George.

- Yes.

While in New York, see if you can pick up

a good fire engine, will you?

Sure, Clarence.

- Have a good trip now, George.

- Yeah.

Here's your orders.

- Thanks, Homer.

- 119.

Middleboro, Kingsville?

- Homer, blast you!

- 125, Uncle Otis. She's got to go.

- What's the matter?

- George, read these.

Cape Anne via Boston, via...

What do you mean Middleboro?

- We're not going to Middleboro.

- Sure are.

- That's west. We can't go that way.

- Can't go any other way.

I'm running this operation.

You head for Marshalltown.

You listen carefully.

The flyer's coming down that track.

We gotta get out of here.

This ain't blind man's bluff, boy.

- 130, Uncle Otis.

- What can we do?

Get out of here

before we burn all the coal in that tender.

Here is a bulletin, ladies and gentlemen.

A copyrighted story by Lawrence

Claiborne Hall in the New York Mirror...

says that Jane Osgood,

the lobster lady from Maine...

whose running battle

with Harry Foster Malone...

has excited the admiration and sympathy

of an entire country...

has loaded her lobsters onto old 97

and is taking them to market.

Go to it, Janey.

It's your railroad, but I don't think...

Wilson, notify Middleboro

to let that slow freight go through 97.

Pour it on there, boy.

Come on there, George. Give it to them.

Let me see that new routing.

I quit.

Harry Foster Pharaoh

and his seven plagues.

How come this was never fixed before?

No reason to. There hasn't been a train

over this branch in three years.

And here's the latest progress,

or rather, lack of progress report...

on Jane Osgood's fight for independence.

Old 97 has just established a world's record.

It's taken her 5 hours and 48 minutes

to travel 72 miles...

thanks to Harry Foster Malone...

who is routing the train

through every whistle stop in New England.

Just a moment.

It's a report from Johnson, sir.

He's the station agent at Holgate.

The 97 train is in and they request water.

Not a drop.

Tell Johnson not a drop.

No, sir, I won't,

because I no longer work here.

Peterson.

Get on the phone and tell Johnson that

under no circumstances is he to give any...

Well, mister, here it is.

Malone said that if I give you

a drop of water, I'm fired.

- He did?

- Yeah, that's what the man said.

Sonny, when I get on top there,

you turn on that faucet.

- What's he doing?

- We got the water!

More steam.

- What are you doing in here?

- I'm sorry, Harry. Sir.

But there's a whole army of reporters

out by my desk.

- I'm not seeing anybody.

- Just a moment, Miss Beardsley.

Will you please tell the press

Mr. Malone is preparing a statement?

- Yes, sir.

- No, sir!

- Now, wait a minute!

- No, you wait a minute.

I've got a few things to say to you, Harry.

Either you are going to listen to me,

or in precisely four seconds...

which is the time it will take me

to walk through that door...

you will be left without an ally

in the English-speaking world.

For the past several weeks...

you have,

with your usual devotion to detail...

managed to undermine

what I, as Chief Counsel for the E&P...

consider the most flourishing railroad

in the country.

- Undermine?

- Yes, undermine.

From the moment

that Jane Osgood attached old 97...

you've been acting as if you were in a fight

with an organization...

approximately the size

of the federal government.

Harry, our antagonist

is one young, attractive widow.

Whom you, by your stubbornness,

have made the most popular American...

since Charles A. Lindbergh flew the Atlantic.

Now, you listen to me.

- More steam!

- All right, I'll give you more steam.

Boy, we'll be lucky

if we get to New York by Christmas.

Is Larry going to be in New York?

I'm afraid Larry's gonna be

in Marshalltown, sweetheart.

Why is Larry going to be in Marshalltown?

He's waiting for me

to answer a question, that's what.

What kind of a question?

It's a wonderful question

if the right man asks it.

You wait right here for Mommy.

Don't go away.

- George!

- What?

I'm going to get married today.

What?

I said, I'm getting married today.

Don't be silly.

I am not being silly.

What are you talking about?

- More steam!

- What?

Lawrence Claiborne Hall

is waiting for me in Marshalltown...

and I am going to marry him.

Just like that?

No, not just like that, George. He asked me.

George, more steam!

After knowing you for four days,

he asked you to marry him?

I think he's probably asked every girl

he ever knew to marry him.

He's neurotic or something.

If you remember correctly,

I asked you to marry me 21 years ago.

- Yes, but you haven't asked me since.

- What?

I'm a woman,

and I'm supposed to be married.

I'm a mother, and I need a man

to take care of me and my children.

You don't have to go to Marshalltown

to find one.

- Don't I, George?

- No.

Where can I find one?

You don't have to go anywhere.

You can stay right in Cape Anne.

- Can I, George?

- Well, you know you can.

Do I?

Well, say it.

- What?

- Why don't you just say it?

- Say what?

- Just say anything.

Why can't you be neurotic like Larry

and say you'll marry me?

You know I will.

George, you proposed!

More steam!

You did.

Get down here and shovel that coal!

- George, I love you.

- I love you.

- What coal?

- More steam!

There's no coal!

- George, I love you.

- I love you.

Steam! We gotta have more steam!

Bully.

Yeah, that's what I said, Kelso.

Give 97 train number one track.

Yeah, clearance all the way through.

Satisfied?

Oh, no!

Why haven't you got somebody there

who can straighten it out?

All right, I'll send somebody up there.

You and your sympathetic nerves.

That cuckoo broad's

got the entire line from...

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