It Runs in the Family Page #3

Like a piece of sh*t.

He's just being provocative.

Now he's an art critic.

What was this place? A paint factory?

- Ink factory, Dad.

- Strange place to raise kids.

4000 square feet, supportive

parents. How bad can it be?

And that's why Asher

is a social misfit.

That's it.

Boys! It's time for the Afikomen!

49 years. I don't know how you do it.

That's not fair.

He's been through a lot this year.

This year isn't any different.

He's still a ballbuster.

Except this year it's more difficult

for him to enunciate his insults.

When are you gonna learn to ignore

the things you don't like about him

and embrace the things you do?

He loves you.

Well, he sure has a funny way

of showing it.

Alex,

he's not going to be around forever.

Found it!

A thousand dollars!

What?

One for me, and one for Asher!

Aren't you the lucky boy!

Thank Granny and Pappy

for being so unbelievably generous.

You're welcome, honey.

Hey, my boy!

I wish you and Alex would stop.

What?

They're waltzing, Mitchell!

Look at that.

Isn't that glorious?

I can't remember

the last time we danced.

We're gonna still see

the end of the game.

I thought this night would never end.

- What?

- Uncle Stephen.

Oh, Jesus.

Enough!

Do you think Asher was stoned?

I don't know. It's hard to tell,

he's always like that.

I don't like what's happening

with him. We're losing him.

Well, he's 21, honey.

I wish he would talk to us.

I wish both of them would talk to us.

I mean, what's with this? What's

going on in that little head of his?

It's not that complicated.

He's asking for a ten-dollar raise

each week with his allowance.

You don't think this is a bit absurd?

Absolutely. It's a highball number.

That's not what I mean.

I mean our son presented us

with a spreadsheet.

It's not about finances.

It's about our son, both of them,

feeling comfortable talking to us.

We're comfortable.

What do you mean?

Talking. To each other.

Well, yeah. Compared to most couples.

Watch where you're going!

- On your right.

- On your left.

I'm so sorry.

Sir, are you... Are you OK, sir?

- Would you like to sit down?

- How can I help?

Would you like a smack in the kisser?

- Get off of me!

- Sorry.

How was your walk, Mr Gromberg?

I can't figure out

this damn e-mail.

It looks like Eli sent me something,

but I can't figure out how to reply.

Use a pen.

I fell.

Are you all right?

Let me give you

some good advice.

Never get old.

- Hiya, Beccy, sweetheart.

- Hi, honey.

I know you wanna wish Eli good luck

since you can't be here. Here he is.

Eli, you go get 'em, all right?

Thanks, Dad. Here's Mom.

I got all your roses, darling.

It was very extravagant.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart.

Twenty-two years, huh?

Happy anniversary to you, too.

I'll see you later. Bye.

See you tonight.

I love you.

Deb, a little rent strike?

This is not a little rent strike.

This is a goddamned uprising.

You can handle it. Just be yourself.

Myself?

The knee-jerk liberal who hasn't

been above 86th Street in years?

- Seor Gromberg!

- I gotta go.

So together, we will succeed,

not only in getting your heat

and hot water back on,

- What did you say to them?

- I don't know.

I just asked them how they felt

about hot showers.

I guess they like them.

Whatcha got, man?

You ready for this, man?

C'mon admit it,

you checkin' out my ass.

You like this?

Watch this. Watch this.

Sub!

You are such a sad boy.

Come here.

Over here.

Excuse me.

I tell you, man,

Punkass hit me with the body.

Looked like a foul to me.

What are you doing here?

Shouldn't you be in class?

Didn't feel like

going to class today, I guess.

What? I can't cut class?

What about you?

This is your fifth time

this semester.

At least someone's counting.

I couldn't care less

how many classes you cut.

You're the one wasting the tuition,

not me.

Yeah. Looks like I'm gonna have

to cough up another year's worth.

I just got a letter

from the registrar.

They want me to stick around

for another year.

You know, my grades are the pits,

so... whatever.

I'm sorry, Asher.

What'd you expect?

Sh*t. I'm late. I gotta go.

Give me your hand.

- What?

- Your hand, fool.

What's this?

My digits.

- Call me.

- I will.

Maybe.

This is so high-school.

Are you gonna pretend

nothing ever happened?

Nothing did, you know, happen.

What is that,

the Bill Clinton defence?

I could've sworn something happened.

You know?

Why don't you just finish me off?

Suzie, Suzie, I am so flattered. OK?

But we gotta let this go.

Because the truth is,

guilt is stronger than lust.

I was so proud of you.

You did so good.

Let's put this right here, so Dad

can't miss it when he comes in.

Wonderful.

I'm starving.

Dad and I talked about

your allowance request.

We have no problem

giving you more money.

We just wish you'd let us know

a little bit more

of what you're thinking, in words.

- You know what I mean?

- Whatever.

I just want you to know that

you can talk to us about anything.

Anything at all.

Whatever's on your mind.

There's nothing you can say

that will upset us.

Understood?

Do you and Dad ever 69?

Will it be the usual?

- The usual.

- And for you?

She'll have the usual.

- What's good tonight, Bruno?

- Well, tonight...

Tonight, we have the Osso Buco.

Very nice.

Served with potatoes and broccoli.

We have the veal chop, cooked

in a Marsala wine. Very lovely.

I'll just have the usual as well.

Good decision.

Well, at least I entertain the idea

of trying something new,

a concept that you've never grasped.

Let's do presents.

Maybe there's a job offer

for our oldest son in here?

I could only hope.

Wait a minute, ladies first.

I may be a selfish, money-grubbing

lawyer, but I am still a gentleman.

God knows who you learned that from.

- My mother, of course.

- Of course.

It's on order.

It's got automatic button-holing.

Auto-embroidery. Auto... eroticism.

This little puppy can do everything.

It's called a... uh...

A sewing machine.

Now, wait.

Was this a schmucky thing to do?

You always talked about wanting to

design your own clothes, didn't you?

I did, didn't I?

I don't know when I'll find the time

but I will. I'll make the time.

Open yours.

I think I may be the winner this

year. This is feeling awfully light.

Cashmere!

- What did I do to deserve this?

- I have no idea.

Look under the socks.

Florence?

I thought that we both... could use

a little Florence.

A second honeymoon.

Honey, thank you. Thanks a lot.

Sh*t. Barney.

- Yeah, well, go ahead. Go take it.

- The hell with him.

I've taken up a new case.

The Martine account wasn't enough?

A pro-bono. I'm working on

a rent strike in Harlem.

Oh, honey. That's the best thing

I've heard you say in months.

What's up?

Let her in, man.

Come on. Walk around.

- By the way.

- What's that?

- It's Katie.

- I know that, sweetie.

I'm just reminding you.

For the morning.

Can I ask you something?

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