It Takes Two Page #5

We weren't expecting you.

Yes, I know. Where's Roger?

Mr. Callaway is out for the afternoon.

I see.

Would you please tell him

I wish to speak with him?

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you so much.

I'd like a Diet Coke.

One Diet Coke, coming up.

With lime.

Awfully early in the day

to be looking at stars.

What do we have here?

You can't always be this much fun.

It wouldn't be fair.

Trust me.

I haven't done this in years.

Well, it feels good.

It feels better every second.

-Don't move.

-Why?

There's a thing.

What do you mean ''a thing''?

A bug?

A dreaded maraschino bug.

It's highly poisonous.

And you wanted to go for pizza.

I almost didn't come over at all.

I'm glad you did.

What was that?

-It's a sign.

-What do you mean ''a sign''?

I don't know.

I think I know what you mean.

It's your Miss Kensington, right?

I'm getting married next month.

Well, of course you are!

So what was this?

Just sort of a last fling?

I didn't know.

I was hoping to find out.

Don't worry about it.

I can help you out.

It was nice to meet you.

And thanks for the camp.

Oh, by the way, congratulations!

Diane, please.

You know what?

This just kills me.

We might've hit this one

out of the park.

It was there, I know it.

That "can't eat. can't sleep...

...reach for the stars.

over the fence...

...World Series" kind of thing.

Oh, well.

I've got to get a dictionary.

They were so close!

Grownups, they think too much.

I give up.

No, we mustn't!

And why mustn't we?

Because third time's a charm. Right?

Right.

Boss!

It's Miss Kensington.

Thanks. I'll take it down here.

Not here.

Up there.

Up there?

Afraid so.

Roger, darling!

Clarice! Your hair.

You're here!

What did you do?

Fall in the lake?

It's the funniest thing--

Shouldn't you be in New York?

I couldn't bear to be away

a moment longer.

You were just gone a day.

I know! And I was positively

miserable the entire time.

So I've decided we mustn't

wait another day.

To what?

To be married, silly.

Next month seems like an eternity.

When two people are

as much in love as we...

...I say.

''What's wrong with tomorrow''?

Tomorrow?

Darling, you haven't said

a word about my hair.

Okay, listen to this.

"Dear Roger.

You are so totally fresh.

Just thinking about you

drives me mental.

Meet me where we met

with the horses.

Seven dclock tonight.

Love, Diane."

How's that?

Very romantic.

Want to hear mine?

''Dear Diane....

Dear Diane, ever since

I saw you riding the horse...

...I can't stop thinking about it.

And I know we were disturbed

at the lake...

...but I must see you again

where I saved your life, at 7:30.

Yours truly, Roger Callaway."

There you are, my little

gum-chewing assailant.

You're back!

What? No big hug ''hello''?

-You're not supposed to be here.

-ln a perfect world, neither are you.

We're leaving for the city.

Right now? It's too soon!

Maybe I didn't make myself clear.

We're leaving tonight.

This little act of yours

is getting old.

What act?

Oh, please.

When I was your age.

I'd been through three stepmothers.

I know all the lengths girls go through

to keep Daddy all to themselves.

You got that all wrong, lady.

Alyssa, don't be rude.

I'm talking.

Where was l?

Oh, yes.

You had Roger to yourself

for nine wonderful years.

But after tomorrow.

I'm the woman of the house.

And you're off to a year-round

boarding school.

Possibly in Tibet.

Did you say tomorrow?

Should I have come here?

Yes, stupid.

He's only worth about $20 billion.

for God's sakes!

Great! Now I'm just after him

for his money.

How shallow is that?

I liked him before

I knew he was rich.

So I should've come here.

He's a little bit engaged.

I've never met her.

so maybe that doesn't count.

Come on, ladies. Perk up.

Come on, Amanda!

We're missing the fireworks!

This is Miss Van Dyke

from Children's Services.

Hello there.

I believe I have

some very good news for you.

Come to Mama, sweetheart!

I feel pretty ding-dang-dong stupid.

But my name's Amanda!

Alyssa, stop it.

Come on, honey.

Do we have to listen to this

the whole way?

Oh, great.

Now I'm going to be road kill.

Wait a minute!

What are you doing?

hl

You were supposed to protect her!

You could've slit their tires!

Anything!

They had paperwork.

What paperwork?

We couldn't find you.

Did you want us to

lie in front of the van?

I would have.

I'm taking the Jeep.

That's the camms.

Oh, don't you keep me here!

Lots of tie-ups.

It's 20 minutes for the Lincoln.

Ten for the Holland.

The BQE is backed up for two miles.

If you're taking the Van Wyck.

allow an extra 15.

Just stay out of midtown.

It'll be wall-to-wall limos.

as Clarice Kensington...

...finally lands her man.

Now, these nincompoops are

your new brothers and sisters.

From the left, you got...

...Bubba, Bridget, Brenda...

...Bonnie, Billy, Bobby, Ben...

...and little Harry. Jr.

Now, he's ours.

There's been a big mistake.

You see, my name is not Amanda.

We know that, honey.

You do?

Sure. And you will never

have to be Amanda again.

That's right. Because from now on.

you're going to be...

...Little Betty Butkis.

Give Betty some Coco Puffs.

And after breakfast...

...we're going to go down

and see where your daddy works.

lsn't that going to be fun?

Callaway residence.

One moment, please.

Miss Callaway, it's for you.

Hello, this is Miss Callaway.

I can't talk long. It's me.

Or should I say...

...Betty Butkis.

Oh, no! I'm adopted?

Are those guys scary or what?

What happened yesterday?

Are you sitting down?

Yeah, kind of.

Clarice moved up the wedding.

Your dad's getting married...

...in two hours and 1 2 minutes.

-What do we do now?

-I don't know.

But it'll have to be something major.

And quick.

You've got to get me out of here.

These people aren't

just scary, they're--

New kids aren't allowed to use

the phone. Butkis rules.

Hey, Vin. You've been taking care

of Alyssa all her life, right?

Oh, no, Alyssa. Not again.

Answer the question.

Yes. From the day she was--

From the day you were born.

So you know pretty well

everything about her?

Every freckle, every bruise...

...every scar?

You could say that.

Bet you don't remember this one.

do you?

No, that one escapes me.

Broken bottle sliding into home.

This one?

Rusty nail right through my shoe.

Bled for six blocks.

How about here?

Ever seen this?

When was that?

Roman candle last Fourth of July.

Right in the head.

My God!

You're not Alyssa!

Nope. Name's Amanda.

Put her there.

Identical strangers?

Holy mackerel, it's amazing!

Yeah. And it's weird too.

But if you're here with us.

then Alyssa is....

ln a lot of trouble.

-I got to tell Mr. Callaway.

-Oh, no.

Wait! You can't tell him yet.

We got to get him to see

Diane before the wedding.

They'll fall in love.

and Clarice will be history.

Where the hell is everybody?

I sure hope you got a plan.

What are you doing here?

I came for Mr. Callaway's

daughter. Alyssa.

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