Jack, Jules, Esther & Me Page #3

---

you can't be an a**hole.

It's kinda harsh.

Okay.

He'll be better.

We both will.

"High Society"]

Hi!

Hey!

Wow!

I feel special, the welcoming

committee is out for me.

Yeah.

Hey!

I'm Jules.

Esther.

Um... so, what's the plan?

What?

Um... into the apartment?

Out of the apartment?

Uh... in.

For now.

Cool!

Let's go!

My friend Frank

He sent me a note

It said I am so lonely

Would you be my lover...

Sh*t, dude.

Which one do we start with?

Just grab one that looks fancy.

They're all fancy.

We want... oak?

I... I don't want to leave

the girls alone together.

Wine is so p*ssy.

Are we really...

- Hey, just give it to me.

Bro, that's a bottle opener.

- Yeah, I know.

Well, it's not gonna open

any one of these.

You need to calm down.

I met Lou in SAT class.

Cool!

And then uh, Jack, um...

Oh, hey Melda!

Is she all right?

Um... yeah.

She's...

She's a little grumpy.

Do you know her?

Yeah, um... I actually

used to live below, but...

Our, uh, our moms would

do yoga videos together,

so Jack and I would have

play dates.

But... but then we moved

to the West Side,

and then to...

to Tribeca

and then back

to the West Side, so.

Wow, how many times

have you moved?

Um... my dad's an architect

so he's always like,

buying new places and

remodeling them.

Hey!

Wow!

Oh my...

Is that a Chewy Chips Ahoy?

Word!

Thank you.

That is a lot of wine, Jack.

Yeah, we couldn't really make up

our mind, so we just brought a few.

Um... how many people

are coming?

Well, it could be just us four.

Oh, so are we still

going to dinner at...?

Uh, no, we lost our

reservations. They were for 14.

I guess you heard about Lena.

Yup.

Have you looked at your

Facebook page lately, Jack?

No.

It's like a war zone.

Actually pretty amazing.

So, uh, we could... choose a

different restaurant or we could cook?

Bro.

Uh...

You have a massive kitchen!

Dude, I don't even think

the oven works.

Seriously!

I've never seen anyone use it.

And how do you eat?

Take-out.

You wanna cook with me?

Um...

Yeah, yeah, um...

You're always bragging

about your mom's cooking.

Let's see what you got.

Cool!

What's up?

Wow!

Um... now what?

I'm sure we can make spaghetti.

They must have that, right?

That's possible.

Um... so...

Who is... the...?

Esther?

Yeah, I... um...

I mean, is she like his new...

I don't know, we have all just

been hanging out a lot lately.

Hanging out?

What?

I get it.

Get what?

I mean, Lou was right.

You're hot.

I get it.

Does that work on all the girls

you hang out with?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, making an

observation, not hitting on you.

I was hitting on you.

You'd know, trust me.

Great!

I'll look out for that.

Um... what...

Can I ask you a question?

Why did he text me?

I... I mean, you know, he's kind

of been ignoring me all year and...

so I didn't really see it

coming. - Oh, I-I-I told him to.

You did?

I-I just wanted all of us to get together.

Uh, I wanted to see you

before you went to school.

Yeah!

Yeah!

We totally should've hung out

more this summer!

Um... why didn't you call me?

Yeah, uh, I was... just nervous.

Why?

Um... there's something wrong with the

housekeeper and Jack's freaking out.

"Can't Stick 'Em"]

Did you eat

all these chocolates?

Did... This box is empty.

Melda, did you eat

all the chocolates?

Jack, what is happening, man?

- Oh, it's so bad.

What are you trying to say, dude?

- Just throw up, right now.

Stick your fingers

down your throat, like this.

No!

You stick your fingers

down your throat, it's so easy.

I'll show you.

- Jack, Jack, Jack! What's going on?

Why are you trying to make her throw up?

- Okay.

It's not as bad as it's gonna

sound but it's-it's...

Okay, then, what is it?

Well, she must have been

cleaning my room

and going through my drawers,

which she's not supposed to do!

So?

- You don't go through my dr...

She found my chocolate stash,

man.

And-and-and she ate all of them.

I think she ate all of them.

- Oh, f***!

They're chocolate covered shrooms and

she must be tripping out of her mind!

Sh*t! We should call an

ambulance. No, no, no.

Don't call an ambulance.

You see, she f***ing

understands English! I knew it!

She doesn't have papers, that's

why she's yelling no ambulance!

Is she gonna die, because...

She's not gonna die!

Why would you say that?

No one's gonna die.

Mushrooms are natural,

from the earth.

Yeah?

- So just f***ing think, man.

F***ing think!

- Think of what?

What was going on?

She doesn't...

We need to find a way to...

You!

Yes!

You can speak to her, right?

'Cause she's Filipino

and you're Asian.

I'm Korean!

There's no universal

Asian language!

Are you that f***ing stupid?

I thought maybe they're similar!

Don't yell at me!

We need everybody...

needs to chill out.

Just chill out, all right?

Translator, like a guide, man. - Are

you f***ing kidding me? - No, no, no.

A guide? - Someone to guide

her... - Are you serious?

...through this amazing journey!

It could be... magical!

I-I-I think we should just calm down.

I just remembered

my old babysitter, Pylar?

She's Filipino

and she's a nurse.

I can call her and she

can just translate for us.

It's all gonna be okay.

I'm good, how are you?

Um... what...

I'm-I'm just wondering, we're having

a little bit of a problem right now.

What are you doing?

That's fantastic!

Yeah, that's why

she's the President, bro.

She gets sh*t done.

Hoo-oh!

Is she gonna be okay?

Yeah, she's a trouper.

She'll pull through.

She'll be fine.

She's okay.

Hey man,

do you have any pasta here?

Dude.

Um... I don't have any money.

So...

I got it.

- Cool.

Uh... here!

Just... take it all.

Thanks.

Are those notes?

Yeah,

so I'm considerate and sh*t.

Dude, this isn't

a job interview.

Okay, you got to relax.

I don't know.

I'm rolling with this!

I mean, your housekeeper

is in the den tripping balls!

The girls are about to leave, and the plan

keeps changing. - All right, all right!

Put this away, 'cause that's not

gonna help anything. - Okay, now.

You have to be cool with

Esther. - Hey, hey! - Seriously.

We got this.

Why are you touching me?

Why are you yelling?

I shake my head real loose

'Cause I'm no one

you'll meant to

Jenn all last will have it...

So...

How was your summer...

uh, plans?

My plans?

I mean, how was your summer?

Oh, dude, that's gotta be

seriously boring.

No, actually,

it was really boring.

Um...

I interned at Legal Aid.

But pretty much

just photocopied.

What did you do, Jack?

Yeah, what did you do?

You know what?

Let's play a game.

Wait, do we have time for that?

Dude, yes.

I mean, we all

just witnessed some crazy sh*t.

You know, I think we're all

a little rattled.

But we have alcohol.

We do have alcohol.

I say, we go guys vs girls.

Do you really want him

to be your partner?

Yeah... I was just thinking

that same question.

I... really can't drink.

Well, just don't lose, then.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes