Jack Page #3

Class-- "Hi, Jack."

- Hi, Jack.|- Hi.|- Hi, Jack.

Hi.

All right. Uh, I know some of|you must be curious about Jack.

So, why don't we just take|some time right now...

and ask him some of the questions|that you've got on your minds.

- Is that all right with you, Jack?|- Sure.

- Okay.|- I don't mind.

Go on. Ask him something.

- I'm not askin' him.|- Louis?

Anybody?

Come on.|Since when is this group shy?

All right. Fine. I've got plenty of|questions. Jack, when's your birthday?

Mm, September 12th.

That's enough. Hmm, let me see.

Uh, oh! What kind of foods|do you just hate?

- Broccoli.|- Broccoli, yuck!|- Makes you fart.

Anybody else here hate broccoli?

Hands. Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Well, it looks like you've got|more in common than you think.

Jack, your seat's right there|in the back. Why don't you go|sit down and we'll get started.

- Okay?|- Okay.|- Okay.

All right. Everybody,|take out your giant book--

I mean, your geography book.

Turn to page 78.

Okay. So, what we|found out the other day...

was that the name "California"|was initially used for--

- Everybody, calm down. Come on.|- I think he's stuck.

Was used for what we know today|as Baja California.

It was first used by Cortez|in the 1530s...

and was found in the journal|of Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo in 1542.

Victor, eyes up front!|Everybody! Come on now. Calm down.

Timber!

Jack, are you okay?

- Are you all right, sweetie?|- Oh, man!

Are you sure you|don't need my help?

- You okay, Jack?|- I'm okay.

Jack.

Is he in our class?

Hot, hot, hot. Almost.

Shoot. Ooh-ooh. Ah.

Dog always gets 'em.

Oh, man, he's lookin' at us.

He probably recognizes us|from the street.

He's probably planning on|kicking our butts or something.

- Hey, punk, why don't you watch|where my ball is going?|- You're funny, Victor!

Maybe if you knew|how to play the game.

- What was that?|- You heard me.

You know what the problem is, Victor?|You have "Zackly" disease.

- What's that?|- Yeah, what's that?

It means your mouth smells|"zackly" Iike your butt.

- Oh-ho!|- Shut up! That's pathetic.|- Shut up.

That's so funny|I forgot to laugh.

- Losers say, "What?"|- What?

- Losers!|- Loser!

You think you're so tough?|Take it out on the court,|'cause I can whup your butt.

- Yeah!|- We can do it, man. Let's go.|- Come on, John-John.|- Let's kick their butt! Yeah!

Why does he always have to drag me|along? You know he's gonna cream us.

Ow! Don't!

- Are you a freak?|- No.

Oh. Well, Jane says|that you're a freak.

- Who's Jane?|- I'm Jane, and I think you are a freak.

Look at your hairy arms|and your eyebrows and--

Yeah, he has receding hairline.

Well, I'm not a freak.

Don't, or I'll tell!

- How old are you?|- I'm ten.

- How old are you?|- I'm eight.

- Yeah?|- Yeah.

- So?|- You don't look ten.

Look. You got the hairy arms.

You got hairy knuckles.

You look a lot older than us.

It looks like you shave there.

Yeah, I do. So?

A ten-year-old doesn't shave,|so then you can't be ten.

Yeah, you can't be ten if you|shave and you have hairy arms|and you're tall, really tall...

- For real.|- and you're bigger.|- Yeah.

- So I'm big for my age.|- Look. You have no hair.

- You ha--|- I have hair. I got hair. See? Look.

Yeah, but look. Right here you have|no hair. It looks like you're bald.

I'm not bald, and I'm not a freak.|You're a freak, four eyes.

He's ten, a whole two years|older than us. See?

Oh, sure. Like that|explains it. Please.

"Please."

Don't poke me, or I'm telling.

Over here! Yeah!

- Oh, yeah?|- Losers. Yeah, losers!

Shut up, you brat!

Hey, how about a little help?

- Throw it over.|- Yeah, throw it over.

Wait! I'm not touchin'|that thing.

It's been contaminated|now that he's touched it.

- Yeah, I ain't touchin' it.|- Oh, my God!|- Me neither!

- I ain't-- Uh! I ain't playin'|basketball for a week.|- Me too!

- Five weeks!|- Cooties!

Cooties! Cooties!

Jack? Honey?

I made sloppy joes for dinner.

I'm not hungry, Mom.

- Really juicy ones.|- Yeah?

- You're gonna love it.|- No, I won't.

- Guess what I made for dessert.|- What?

Ya have to guess.

- Can you smell it?|- Not through a box.

Chocolate pudding!

- Your favourite.|- Not any more, Mom.

It's still hot.

Mmm! I can smell it.|It's steaming.

No, thanks.

- This is serious.|- What happened?

What do you think happened?|Children whispering. Children pointing.

- Oh.|- He's not used to that, Brian.

Karen.

Jack?

Hey, your mom made sloppy joes.

Mom hates sloppy joes.

Uh, that's true.

In fact, all adults|hate sloppy joes...

but sometimes we make 'em|to cheer up a kid who's had a bad day.

- You want to tell me about it?|- No.

Okay.

You know what I was|just thinkin' about?

- First time you ever rode|a bike. You remember that?|- Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you,|you were so determined to ride.

- You kept wipin' out and--|- Yeah.

You nearly took out|a couple of the neighbours.

It took a couple of days|until you finally got it.

But look at you now. I mean, you--|you're, you're riding like a pro.

- Kinda like school, isn't it?|- Yeah.

Well, anyway, I just wanted|to see how you were doin'.

You need anything,|give me a holler.

Hey, Dad, could we|put up a basketball hoop?

Yeah.

All right. Get the ball.

- Hi.|- I'll be back in a second.

Hey in there.|How ya doin', Jack?

Hi, Miss Marquez.

Oh, are those Gummi Bears?

Could I have a red one?|The red ones are my favourite.

Yeah? Oh. Thanks.

So, how do you like it so far?

- Miss Marquez and Jack|- Marquez and Jack

Sittin' in a tree

K-l-S-S-l-N-G

- Girls!|- First comes love, then comes marriage

Jack, if anybody bothers you,|you just come and tell me, okay?

Okay.

Thanks for lunch.

All right.

- Phoebe and Jane.|- I told you.

- It's all your fault.|- Over here right now. Today!

- Come on. We're gonna|go see your teacher.|- She started it.

- Please.|- That was very rude, you know.

Let's kick their butts.

Hey, Louis, you "Iouiser."|To ten.

I'm not in the mood to get|my butt kicked today.

Well, we got the new kid.

What, are you crazy?

Wait. You can't pick him.|He can't play with us.

- Yeah.|- Hey, I can pick whoever I want.

- What? Are you afraid to lose?|- No.

Pick whoever you want.|We never lose.

Yeah, pick whoever you want.|We never lose.

Hey, you! Big guy.|You shoot hoops?

- Me?|- No, the 40-year-old kid behind you.

Yeah, you.|You play ball?

Yeah. With my dad.

- Are you fried?|- Hey, at least nobody's gonna slam him.

- All right, let's do it.|- Losers take out.

- So you take out.|- Yeah!

Yeah, you take out.

- Come on, just one chip.|- No!

- This is gonna be a good game, man.|- Let go, man. Gimme some room.

Wanna grab a burger|after school sometime?

Now, listen. All you gotta do|is just stand by the hoop, okay?

And I'll feed you the ball|like this.

- Let's do this.|- Kick their butts.|- Yeah, kick their butts.

Now, stand under the hoop.|Get your hands up.

Who let Godzilla out?

- And block him.|- I'll try.|- Let's do it.

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