Jackass 3D Page #6

- Dimitry, please! Please!

- Is he crying?

- Please! Please!

- He's really crying.

Tremaine, you motherf***er!

Get me out now!

It's not funny. it's not funny!

Its not funny? Im gonna argue

with you on that one, Barn.

You f***ing a**holes!

- Get him out.

- Get me out.

Get me out.

You can't do that to me, man.

Sorry, bud.

Dude, that is the worst fear

I could ever imagine.

You f***ing, dick-sucking,

f***ing, a**hole

motherfuckers just did that to me.

Look at the snake tracks on his back.

You have snake marks on your back.

- Oh, my God.

- That one is so big!

That looks like hell in there.

That was f***ing terrifying. I can't

think of anything more terrifying

than that, that just happened right now.

Well, you're welcome, man.

F***ing cocksucker.

Your voice definitely did

have different nuances to it

when you were hollering out

for... getting out of there.

Stop it, man!

F***, man! You're gonna make me

have heart... Seriously...

Thank God I'm leaving at three today.

I am counting down the minutes.

Seriously. With f***ing

David Weathers around.

I'm gonna see if there's

a one-hour-earlier flight.

Most people don't like the idea

of being covered in dog sh*t,

but that doesn't bother me

nearly as much as, like,

rollercoasters and bungee jumping.

I just can't do that sh*t, man.

That's why this is gonna be fantastic.

It's basically like a poo coaster.

- You have really irrational fears.

- I know.

"Cast me out to sea with sharks,

I don't care."

"Put a hook through my cheek.

But I'm not bungee diving."

What the f***?

Oh, my God.

Come here, dude.

I'm trying.

- What's the problem?

- It f***in' stinks like sh...

...Sh*t

I think it's about ten years ago today

that I was doing

the first Poo Cocktail

and now you're taking the reins

and taking it to a whole other level.

- Yep.

- You look pretty happy about it.

Hey, let's get me down

pretty f***ing quick after this.

I'm gonna be so claustrophobic,

it's gonna be ridiculous.

- Do you have claustrophobia?

- Yeah.

Just relax and enjoy your sh*t.

I'm Steve-O, and this is

the Poo Cocktail Supreme.

All right. Good luck.

- You ready, Steve-O?

- No.

Order up! Poo Cocktail Supreme!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

He's puking!

F***ing gross.

Whats wrong with you, Barn?

Oh, my God, dude.

Are you OK, Steve-O?

Oh, my God!

It's gonna be ugly. I don't know

if you wanna see this.

Oh, my God! Oh, Jesus.

- Help him out of there!

- Let him out!

I'm ready...

Oh, my God.

Jump in that lake right now.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Jesus!

Oh, God, it's so gross.

This is the kind of extreme sh*t that

those extreme dudes don't even think of

That had it all.

That had danger:
It had sh*t.

It had puke. That's what

this show is all about.

And sex appeal.

All right, fellas,

we're gonna play a little game called

Escaped Convict and Warden's Wife.

And I'm pretty sure something sucky's

gonna happen when I push this.

So would you guys rather

listen to Steve-O's rap album,

- or have me push this plunger?

- Push the plunger!

All right, let's end this turkey.

Glasses on! Goggles on!

Hello. My name's Johnny Knoxville

and I'm about to end this movie.

What?

Oh, my God! I don't believe...

Can you believe this?

I don't understand

what the hell they're doing.

I mean, it looks more like a riptide

to me. Don't you think so?

This is ridiculous.

Now wait just a second.

- How...? Is this the way you make...

- Rip Taylor!

Shut up yourself! I'm just fed up.

Who's the fat guy in the Speedo?

Look in the mirr... Oh, my God.

Look in the mirror. A grown man.

And they did it.

And I can't believe all the confetti.

And don't forget... Jackass 3D.

- 3D!

- Thank you.

No tongue! No tongue!

No tongue!

No tongue!

I'm Danger Ehren, and that was

the Lamborghini Tooth Pull.

- We're not using that.

-I don't care.

Now we are using that.

Dude!

I was joking. You just broke Jeff's

cam... You broke your camera.

F***ed

F***, OK, you got me, dude.

Bro-zilian, take two, mark.

Dude! Dude! Cut the...

Dude, I will f***ing punch you

in the face, dude! Stop it.

Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, don't be a sissy.

Three, two, one, go!

Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

Welcome to Jackass.

Cut!

My name is Eddie Barbanell,

and this is some bullshit

with a plunger.

Preston, move your ass.

Come back here!

This bruise looks old.

Yeah, there's been a lot of

stuff going on back there.

That's an official break.

Jeez. That's so gnarly.

That's some serious

bragging rights, right there.

Happy birthday!

Thanks.

Oh, right there. That's the spot.

Sorry. Had we known you didn't like red,

we wouldn't have wore this.

Thanks, buddy.

He's got it, he's got it! Oh, sh*t!

Man, you jumped!

Oh, you f***er. You f***er.

I did it like you said.

I held the brake...

Like this, while its still...

- Oh, my God!

- Yes!

Yeah!

That's my girl.

- You're gonna roller-skate.

- Yeah, I'm an awesome roller skater.

I know. I saw you a long time ago

at the L.A. River when you were...

- Why you gotta bring that up?

- You were amazing!

My name is Johnny Knoxville, and today,

I'm gonna jump the L.A. River.

Help me! Help me!

How's it going? I'm Steve-O, and I

collected nine days of elephant sh*t.

No wait, that doesn't work.

What should I say?

Say whatever you want.

- Hi. I'm Jeff.

- Hi. I'm April.

- it's nice to meet you.

- Hi, April. Nice meeting you.

Look at these haggard tattoos he has!

He's got a Chili Peppers sign.

And what's this? Blair Witch?

- What's this one over here?

- That's a noose.

- What does that mean?

-I don't know.

That's Trip.

- And action.

- Hi. Welcome to Jackass.

I never wanted to be this.

I was hired to move the ramps,

'cause I was the only one

with a pickup truck.

Do it up and down.

You! Pull that f***ing

camera back, jackass.

I know Johnny Knoxville,

and he is not broadcasting

my crack to millions of people.

Is this shoot over?

Yeah. What did you want out of it?

You got whatever, you know?

You did great today, Jeff.

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