Jalla! Jalla! Page #2

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and you fill it with water.

It gets completely filled up

and it's really...

But it's like it's too heavy,

it just hangs there.

- All limp?

- Yeah.

- Have you had it checked out?

- Sh*t, not a doctor...

That's like going to the hospital.

- You've got to get it checked up.

- I know, but it feels...

Don't tell anyone.

- Of course not.

- Promise?

- Sure.

- Just be yourself and it'll be fine.

- It's cool, Roro.

Ready?

- Roro... it's cool.

- I'm cool.

I'll just go and check it out.

I can't just walk in and say, "Hey, this

is my girl." You know...

- Be quick.

- I'll be right back.

Don't disappear.

Hi, Roro. Come and meet Yasmin

and her brother.

- Hi, Roro. It's been a long time.

- Hi.

This is Paul and Yasmin.

- Hi, I'm Paul.

- Yasmin.

I have to go down

and park my bike.

I'll be right back.

- He cycles? Doesn't he have a car?

- Sometimes he cycles.

- I'm going to buy him a car.

- Today, all young people drive.

I'll buy a nice car.

You can't come up right now.

- You can't.

- You promised.

The house is full of relatives.

I didn't know.

- Then I'll meet them, too.

- You can't.

- It's Grandma, and Auntie and...

- You're always making excuses!

Lisa, wait. Lisa!

- Please?

- Lisa, wait!

I'm going to bed.

Listen...

Do you think you should

see a doctor?

They shove wooden sticks this long

up the urethra, you know.

- If you like, I'll come with you.

- I don't want to go.

- I've got lots of money.

- So do I.

I own a restaurant.

I make a ton of money.

Bring the family. I'll buy you all

dinner, and we can sit and talk.

- Yasmin can sing to us.

- She can sing?

- Sing to us, Yasmin!

- Perhaps she's shy.

- Don't be shy, it's your family soon.

- It's fine. Maybe next time.

- Why are you sitting here?

- Go for a walk.

Roro, take Yasmin some place.

- Here, I'll give you some money.

- No, he's got money.

You seem to be a really nice girl,

but I don't want to get married.

Neither do I ! It's my brother

who's brought me here.

I got a bit confused up there.

Paul!

Grandma and Dad are constantly

going on about me getting married.

- It's worse for me.

- Why?

My parents live in Lebanon.

They've told my brother

I have to marry before summer's over,

or I have to return to Lebanon.

- Why?

- They don't want me to be unmarried.

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

Why don't we marry?

We could say we'll marry.

- I don't want to, I've got a...

- I don't want to either.

We say we'll marry,

then we change our minds.

I don't get it - neither of us wants to

get married, so why tell them we will?

It'll buy me time to find a solution.

It'd be nice not to have

Grandma and Dad nagging me...

I don't know, though...

- Your brother can't force you.

- Yes, he can.

Nobody will need to know.

Back so soon?

You can walk more!

- We don't need to.

- It's okay.

I think we've decided

that it could work.

- We'll marry.

- Pardon?

- We will get married.

- That's great!

Congratulations!

It's my turn. You've hit three balls.

I've only hit two.

Go on, then.

Okay, watch me.

MANY PEOPLE LIKE

ROUGH SEX:

You want this?

Get this one instead,

it's much better.

- It's got a nice flavour, too.

- I'm fine with this.

Get a video to go with it.

They're down to thirty kronor.

- You can have it.

- For free?

If you buy this.

Latex, you know...

If you buy this...

Enjoy it!

- Anything?

- The knickers are too tight.

My hair's caught.

Careful!

Listen, if you put your hands here...

Put one foot here

so that I can reach better.

- Bend over!

- Take it easy.

- How do you feel?

- It won't work, I feel ridiculous.

We've got to try.

It was your idea!

I know.

Hit me hard, so I can get

the bloody dick up.

Sorry.

That really hurt.

Look, horses!

- What have you done, Roro?

- She broke her neck!

Hello, my darling.

- Where's Mum?

- She's feeding the geese.

- How's it going?

- Fine.

You were prepared for that!

You weren't prepared

for that one!

- All right?

- Yeah, fine.

That felt good.

- Fit for fight?

- Yep.

Then the rake is yours.

We're just picking this up.

- Hi, it's Yasmin.

- Hi.

My brother says

he wants us to look at a flat.

- A flat?

- He's found us a flat.

We've barely met, why should we

start looking at flats?

He wants us to meet.

- He'll get suspicious if we don't meet.

- I'm with Lisa right now.

- What do I tell her?

- Nothing. lt won't take long.

It'll only take half an hour.

- You don't have to say anything.

- Okay. I'll call you.

Yasmin...

- I'm coming!

Yasmin, jalla!

We're meeting him soon.

- What's wrong?

- What's the big hurry?

- Hurry? Roro's a good guy, isn't he?

- I don't know him.

You have a lifetime to get to know

each other!

- I don't have a wedding dress.

- You've got Mum's dress.

I don't want Mum's dress.

It's horrible.

You look great

in Mum's wedding dress.

- Shouldn't we wait with the flat?

- It's perfect!

And it's right on top of my restaurant.

You can eat there whenever!

It's a good-sized flat.

The white makes it bright.

No, it's very dark.

Yes, this is it.

It's not big. But my husband and I

have had a lot of fun here.

- I've got the best function room.

- Function room?

And Jamil will bake the cake.

It'll have at least ten storeys!

He wants some pictures,

for the cake models.

Check out the camera.

Got it for 700, it's worth 4,000.

Three, two, one! Stand still, Roro.

What are you doing?

- Let's go out here instead.

- People are looking, and it's raining.

Doesn't matter with this camera,

the lens takes away the rain.

Stand over here. What do you think,

Roro - rear or front?

Does it matter? Is the car

going on the cake?

You're going on the cake.

The car's for the picture.

Give us a big smile. Let me see

some teeth!

- Look at him...

- Walk by my side, I said!

- Everybody's got dogs.

- Guess why he's got one?

- Because he likes it?

- No, because he's got a small dick.

Sick dick...

Look at his balls!

- How much sperm fits in there?

- Now he's shitting.

- What do those buggers eat?

- Sh*t?

- Isn't he going to pick it up?

- Hey, cool it!

Now sit!

- Aren't you going to pick it up?

- What's that?

- Aren't you picking it up?

- Is it my sh*t?

- It's your dog's sh*t.

- That's not my problem. Talk to him.

- It's my problem, I work here.

- Then go and f***ing work!

You just watch it, d*ckhead!

Mans...

You've got to see a doctor.

I will.

I love you. But I'm horny,

and I want to f***.

Couldn't we do something else?

- Go and see a movie...

- I don't want to see a movie!

I want to f***.

It's just that...

It feels so...

It's about this big.

- Come inside with me.

- I don't want to.

I've been in there before. There's this

really annoying guy...

Just ask him for a... pump.

A pump?

- A pump... A cock pump.

- A cock pump?

Excuse me.

One of those... pumps.

- You pump up your thing with it.

- A vacuum pump.

Mans, they've got two.

One is powerful,

the other comfortable.

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