Jalla! Jalla! Page #4

---

He does, doesn't he?

How big is it?

How big is it, eh?

Big dick, eh?

- C*nt!

- Bloody idiot!

- What do you want?

- Where's Rambo?

- What do you want?

- He's taken Rambo!

- What Rambo?

- Our dog!

I don't know your Rambo!

- Are you all right?

- Yeah.

What are you staring at?

I used to have a dick, too!

You over there, you've had d*cks,

haven't you?

You must've had a dick once.

Shall I tell you about my dick?

There was a time when my dick

was a part of me, that I was proud of.

I'd stand and look at it

and talk to it.

- Why do you fight?

- It wasn't me, it was them.

- Don't fight next time.

- I don't know them, they followed us!

You have to get married

and have a family.

You can't go on like this.

All my brothers are grandfathers.

- I want to be a grandfather.

- Dad, please...

I don't like Yasmin. She's very nice,

but I'm not in love with her.

- Why not?

- Because I'm not.

- Weren't you in love with Mum?

- No.

I'm not like you, I want love.

It's all you youngsters talk about

- love, love, love.

I just don't get it.

Mans!

- What's happened?

- It's nothing.

- Roro, where's Yasmin?

- I don't know.

- Weren't you meeting?

- Yes, but I ran into some trouble.

- Jalla, jalla! We have to look for her!

- Now?

- I can't find her anywhere!

- I'll f*** your sister.

- What did you say?

- It's my bird, he does that.

- Jalla! Hurry up!

- I'll be right down.

Don't f*** with me!

- I'll f*** your mother.

- What's that?

- I've got a cut. Can you see it?

- Yes, it's here.

Your nose is bleeding.

- Is there blood in the other one?

- No.

- Where have you been?

- At a caf, in town.

Careful.

Now put your head like this.

No, come and lie here.

Watch my neck.

- What's this in your eye?

- Not with your nail.

You've got some black goo there.

It's a fly.

- What's up?

- He was bleeding, so I...

- Go to the car.

- Yasmin, what...

- What are you doing with my sister?

- I don't give a f*** about you.

Stay away from her

or I'll squash you like a fly!

F***ing p*ssy!

I'm so f***ing fed up with this!

What's your problem?

D*ckhead!

Don't think you're getting away.

You're marrying my sister!

- Listen, Paul...

- There's no listening now!

You just piss on me!

I work my butt off for you.

I get a function room, furniture,

even the bloody cake!

Do I get a "thank you, that's

really nice, Paul"? No, I get zero!

You're marrying my sister.

You're not going to ruin it, a**hole!

- Don't call me a**hole.

- I'll call you what I want, a**hole!

Shut up! I don't want to hear

a word from you!

Who do you think you are?

You can't push me around!

I'm not listening to you! I said I'd

marry your sister as a favour.

You're just going on about

your damn restaurant and sh*t!

I'm sorry, Yasmin. I've tried,

but he's too much!

You get married, if it's so important,

because I'm not.

Go sit on your f***ing cake,

if that'll make you happy!

You think you're so smart, don't you?

I've talked to that whore

of yours, Lisa!

I've told her everything.

She knows you're getting married.

- Don't call her a whore!

- I'll call her what I want!

You're a pile of sh*t,

and you're getting married!

You just run to your little whore,

but then you're getting married!

Lisa!

Open up, I've got to talk to you.

- The police department.

- I'm calling about a burglary.

Hell!

- So what happened?

- What?

There's a lot of furniture

underneath your balcony.

- I dropped them by mistake.

- Really... How?

Well, I was rearranging

the furniture,

when I tripped on a ledge

and fell over.

- Out onto the balcony?

- Yeah, right.

With a chest of drawers, a TV

and a fish tank?

Okay, seriously...

It all started with my dick.

Pardon...? Who's Dick?

No, the dick is my penis.

- Dick - penis, my penis.

- Your penis?

"P-e-n-i-s."

You see, about three

or four weeks ago...

I swear, my girlfriend lives there.

I didn't have my keys.

Come on, call her and ask.

Your shoes.

I'm telling you, my girlfriend

lives there.

Your watch.

- Your belt.

- I'm not wearing one.

The chain.

How long do I have to stay here?

Picture it - a policeman

without a dick.

People looked at you and you knew

they were thinking,

"There's the dick-less policeman."

I know I overreacted, but I just

lost control. You know...

I feel sorry for you.

But as you've been booked,

you have to stay overnight.

- But I won't press charges.

- Thanks.

But that's between the two of us.

That's it then... And good luck.

How did you get in here?

I know one of the officers,

he let me in.

No, sit.

- How are you?

- I'm okay.

Funny, I was just thinking about you.

- I know.

- How do you know?

- What were you thinking?

- About us on that park bench.

- I thought it felt really...

- Good?

- I thought so too.

- You did?

You're so hairy! It's all on your hands

and nothing on your head.

- Just look!

- What about you?

You've no hair at all.

Yes, there's one...

Mans, is that you?

Roro, what the hell

are you doing here?

- I'm sleeping. What about you?

- I've got a hard-on!

- What, in here?

- Yeah.

You get a hard-on in a police cell?

You're a pervert!

Shut it, I'm trying to sleep!

Eat sh*t and put your head

in the toilet bowl!

Shut up in there!

Go to bed!

- Do you hear that, you idiots!

- You shut up, too!

- Congratulations, Mans!

- Thanks!

Bye, now.

- Where have you been?

- I had some problems...

Come inside!

Jalla, jalla! Get dressed,

people are waiting.

They're all waiting for the bride.

You're almost done now.

- It's pretty like this, isn't it?

- It's very nice.

- Who's that?

- Hold on.

What about the dress?

- I'll be right back.

- Where are you going?

- Have you cut your hair?

- It's put up, for tonight.

- It looks great with this thing.

- Do you think?

- I think it looks old-fashioned.

- Are they diamonds?

Let's go over there and talk.

Come on.

- What's up?

- It's nothing...

I don't know how to say it.

You're so beautiful, I mean pretty.

It's like a big ball,

a big ball of love.

It's incredibly hard, and I want to

throw it into you.

My head feels like it'll explode.

It's like I want to stay here,

but I'm also a rocket flying in space

this way and that.

Sh*t, I don't know what I'm saying.

I'm sorry...

I shoot myself into space

and I want to be in your space,

like some weird rocket

flying around.

I don't know what I'm saying,

I'm totally demented.

All I want to say, is that I'm...

I'm in love with you.

Please, don't get married.

- I can't.

- You can, if you want to.

- Just wait a few days.

- I have to.

Do something

you've never done before.

Be cool, like me!

I can't.

- I can't.

- Please... Yasmin, please.

Yasmin, hold on!

This is Lisa's phone.

Leave a message.

Except you, Roro. Go to hell!

l never want to see you again.

Caroline!

Tell Dad I'll come straight to the

function room. I have to do something.

- What?

- Stop it.

Are you going to Lisa's?

Roro, wait for me! Roro!

- What's up?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes