Janis: Little Girl Blue Page #8

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That's one of the

reasons she did

heroin was so she didn't

have to be involved

with everybody else's life.

Most people can be oblivious

to what's going on around them,

but Janis couldn't.

She couldn't block it out.

But she was addicted to it, you

know, and I got her to stop.

And then when I would

go away, she'd get weak,

I guess is one way to say

it, and start it again.

I told her I can't do that part.

I can't put up with that

because it's killing you.

And it broke my heart to see.

That's really what it is.

It broke my heart

more than anything.

When I said I was

leaving, she said,

why don't you stay

and become my manager?

And it was a tempting offer,

but the heroin I couldn't even

begin to put up with.

Baby, yeah, baby, well, baby,

oh, honey, welcome back home.

I had a man.

He said, honey, honey,

you know that I love you.

See, but I gotta go find myself.

You know, I gotta

go and find my life.

I gotta go find myself over in

Africa or over in, uh, New York

City or over in, uh,

, some place

those cats are always

wandering off to.

I never figured out

exactly where it was.

They're always going

somewhere, man.

And I said, baby,

don't you realize?

You're looking for your

life over there, honey.

Well, you know

where your life is?

You're life's waiting

like a God-damned fool

right here for you, man.

And one morning, you're gonna

wake up in, uh, Casablanca,

one of those fancy places.

Honey, you're gonna be

freezing to death, man.

You're gonna wake up and

you'll say, good, good lord,

good, good, good lord.

I just went off

and left that woman

in that great big huge double

bed with that great big fur rug

on top of it and those

satin sheets, man.

What am I doing in

Casablanca, man?

I mean, really, man.

One of these days, that

cat's going to wake

up and say that to himself.

And when he comes back home,

there, just like the Capricorn

that I am, I'll be

standing there waiting.

I said, baby, I

knew one day, hun,

I knew, knew, knew one day.

'Cause you've finally

come on home to me.

Honey, when you walk

in my front door,

I'm gonna be able to tell

by the look in your eyes.

I'll say, good God, that

man finally done got it.

Lord, that man

finally done realized.

So you can put your

head on my shoulder,

baby, yeah, 'cause I know you've

got some more tears to shed.

So come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on and cry, cry, baby.

Cry, baby.

Cry.

Cry.

Oh, baby, cry, baby-

Cry, baby.

Hey, I want to ask about

that tune that you just sang.

It's, um, it's about men.

It's about men?

Did you ever see

those mule carts'?

Yeah.

They, uh, there's a

dumb mule up there,

right, and a long stick

with a string and a carrot

hanging out of it.

And they hang this thing out

in front of the mule's nose,

and he runs after

it all day long.

And who is the man in this

parable, the mule or the person

holding the carrot?

The woman is the

mule, chasing something

that somebody's always teasing.

Constantly chasing a man

who always eludes here.

Well, they just always

hold up something more

than they're prepared to give.

We had dinner one night, and

I remember suddenly saying,

not having planned to,

how- can you assure me

that you're not doing heroin?

And her answer was interesting.

It was, who would care?

It really stopped me.

Do you ever get back

to Port Arthur, Texas?

No, but I'm back in August, man.

And guess what I'm doing?

I don't know, night clubbing?

I'm going to my tenth

annual high school reunion.

Oh, I want to... take movies

and bring them back here

and show us.

Hey, would you

like to go with me?

Well, I don't have

that many friends

in your high school class.

- I don't, either.

- Or mine, for that matter.

I don't either.

Believe me.

You don't, either?

How do you know they

won't move the reunion'?

That's true.

I wasn't going to tell them.

What do you remember

most about Port Arthur?

Uh, I don't really...

Uh, no comment.

Because it was really only

the acceptance of millions

that could make up for that

way that she had grown up.

If everyone loved

her, then it was OK.

But if anyone didn't, they

could destroy her in a minute.

Hi, how were you different

from your schoolmates

when you were in DJ?

I don't know.

Why don't you ask them?

I wonder.

I was they who

made you different?

No, I was...

In other words, you were

different in comparison

to them.

Why Were you?

I felt apart from them.

Did you go to football games?

I don't remember.

Uh, I don't remember.

I think not.

I didn't go to the

high school prom.

Aw, you were asked, weren't you?

No, I wasn't.

They didn't think... I don't

think they wanted to take me.

And I've been... I've been

suffering ever since.

I remember when I was young,

some doctor told my mother

that if I didn't, quote,

"straighten up," quote,

I was going to end up either

in jail or an insane asylum

by the time I was 21.

So when I turned 25 and

my second record came out,

I think my mother sent me

a congratulatory telegram

or something, you know,

that I had escaped the pen.

How do you get along

with your parents?

Pretty good.

They had somewhere to go.

Right, they went to a wedding.

We go along pretty good, yeah.

Did they ever seem

surprised by your success?

I think, yeah, yeah.

Our parents saw it was

challenging to their way

of life, to their

positions in the community,

and it created difficulties

between them and both of them

silently with each

other, feeling that they

had somehow caused a calamity.

I didn't see her for six months.

She had promised me that she

was going to quit heroin,

and she did.

And it changed her.

Dear family, things

are going so well for me.

I have a new, smaller band, and

it's really going fantastic.

I met a really fine man in Rio,

but I had to get back to work.

So he's off finding

the rest of the world,

but he really did love

me and was so good to me.

He wants to come

back and marry me.

I thought I'd die without

someone besides fans asking me,

but he meant it.

And who knows?

I may get tired

of the music biz,

but I'm really

getting it on now.

She called me up and said,

I've got a great new band.

Do you want to come

back on the road?

With Janis, it was magic.

She had a gift from

God when she played.

There was a connection

there that I don't even

know what it was between us.

Somehow, we didn't

really do a lot...

We never did a lot of talking.

She was bubbly person.

She wanted everything to

be so perfect for everyone,

not just her, everyone.

You say that it's over, baby.

You say that it's over, dear.

But still you hang around.

She said, man, with Full Tilt, I

can change something in

the middle of a song,

and they're right there.

She was a fantastic

front person.

She would say, when I do the

windmill, keep her going.

Or we'd be playing a song,

and she would decide she would

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