Jason Nash Is Married Page #2

who just opened

this new company.

He's running this company.

It's called blazers media.

I'm gonna get you in there.

- Hey, hey, I know.

- My shot, dude. My shot.

- I know.

- I'll pitch a show

with Randy Plymouth.

That'll be great.

- Randy Plymouth, the comedian?

- That'll be great.

- That's insane.

He's drunk all the time.

- He smokes crack.

No one smokes crack anymore.

- He's clean.

He's totally clean now.

- Didn't you just see he just

got caught taking a picture

of an 18-year-old boy

on his roof?

- Yeah, so what?

He's 18. That's cool.

- I don't think

you're hearing me, okay?

This is a receptionist job.

That's it.

- Dude, Randy Plymouth,

variety show.

It's a slam dunk.

What's up?

Is that a bigger ball

than normal?

Is that a bigger size?

Is that regulation?

Sh*t, 'cause it feels bigger.

- Thanks for coming over here,

'cause blazers won't be set up

for another couple weeks,

so I won't physically be

in the office until, you know,

two or three weeks from now.

I'm on hold right now.

I'm getting a shark tank.

I mean, it's a fish tank,

but it's gonna be big enough

to hold a shark.

- Do you want to go?

Do you want to take that?

- No, no, no, I'm listening.

I'm still listening.

So what have you been up to?

- Oh, um, you know, I've been

making videos for this website.

You know, it's funny.

I was actually gonna

go pitch something

with David Fincher, maybe.

- Adventure baby?

I like the sound of that.

Adventure baby.

- No, no, I said,

"David Fincher, maybe."

Not "adventure baby."

- YEAH, I WOULD DEFINITELY WATCH

SOMETHING CALLED ADVENTURE BABY.

So that's a good idea.

And then as far as

this Randy Plymouth thing goes,

he's an icon.

I mean, I love him.

I've been a fan

since I was six or seven.

Really, seven.

The problem is,

at the end of the day,

is he sober?

- Randy? Oh, yeah.

Randy is... he's totally clean.

He's been clean

for a couple months now, and...

- really?

- Yeah.

- That sounds great.

Well, I tell you what,

why don't I go over

to his mansion...

to Randy's mansion... meet him.

We'll hash the whole thing out

and see if we can get

something going.

- Oh, my God.

- Awesome.

- That's awesome.

- That's great.

- It's great!

- Now I'm on the...

that's so great.

- Okay, that's awesome.

- Oh.

- All right, they got it.

They have it.

Okay, great.

- They have the shark tank?

- Yeah, well, it's a fish tank,

as a mentioned earlier,

but it'll be able to hold

a shark.

- Randy, come on.

You got to get out of bed.

Let's go.

You got to get dressed.

- Mm-mm.

- Oh, my God,

you're really depressed.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I am.

'Cause I haven't done

any drugs in a month, okay?

You know what that's like?

Guess what.

I don't like

who I am without substances.

- Come on.

We agreed that we were gonna

do this show from your house.

I mean, you were all excited

to do it,

and I really need you to step up

for me right now.

Come on, I got to make

something happen for my family.

- Why do I need you

for a TV show anyways, huh?

What are you bringing

to the table?

- Well, I'm a writer.

You don't write.

You don't even know

how to work a typewriter.

- Typewriter?

- Yeah.

- Who uses a typewriter anymore?

- Well, you can't even type.

And I'm punctual.

I'll get you to meetings

on time.

I'll remember

when the meetings are.

I know when it's appropriate

and when it's not appropriate

to touch a woman's breast.

- That's low.

- Yep.

All right, okay, look.

He texted me. He's here.

He's outside.

- Let's go.

- I'm going.

- Let's go, Randy.

Let's do this.

- I'm going!

- Randy, get down here.

Hey!

- Hey.

- What's up? All right.

- How are you?

- Thanks so much

for coming over, man.

- You remember Trisha,

my new girlfriend.

- Of course.

Hey, we met last time.

- We did?

- Yeah.

- I don't remember.

- Oh.

- Nice. Oh, Randy Plymouth!

Huge comedy boner alert!

I've got a comedy boner

right now.

- Get out of my house.

I'm not up for this.

- Hey, I'm a huge fan.

I love it when you play

"pull my finger."

- You don't know me.

You don't know me.

- Okay.

This is a side of Randy Plymouth

that I haven't seen.

I like. You guys want to party?

I brought a six-pack and

some pretty good white stuff.

- Oh, my dear God.

I'll show you the coke room.

- Hey, hey, hey, Randy, no.

- I want to show you...

I'll show you the coke room.

- There's no coke room today.

Hey, tidal, I told you,

Randy is clean.

He's a month sober.

He's doing great.

- Okay, hey,

so he really is sober.

Jason, you want to...

- No, I'm good.

I'm great.

It's the middle of the day.

- Okay, well,

now I feel like a jerk.

- Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.

Don't feel like a jerk.

I mean, have fun. That's cool.

- Oh, no, I just feel like

a jerk 'cause I brought so much.

I'm still gonna...

- You know what?

This is probably not the best

thing for Randy to be watching.

Randy, what are you doing?

- All right, now somebody's

ready to party.

- Randy, Randy...

- get the f*** away from me.

I'm not gonna sit here and...

- Put it down, Randy!

Put it down.

You know what?

I feel really bad.

We shouldn't be doing this

in front of him.

- All right, let's finish off

these lines,

and then we'll do a couple more,

and then we'll be good to go.

Slide!

Yeah!

- They have to leave, okay?

The nanny's bringing

the kids over.

- Okay, good.

- Randy Plymouth,

it's been an honor.

I can't wait to make

comedy genius with you.

- All right.

- Wait a minute. So we sold it?

- Yeah, of course you sold it.

Hell yeah, you did.

I love the mansion.

I love the concept.

I love Randy Plymouth.

LIVE FROM:

RANDY PLYMOUTH'S PLAYHOUSE.

It's gonna be good.

- Ah, that's great news.

- Do you guys have any rubbers?

- No, I don't have any rubbers.

That was really fun.

So much fun.

Just hanging out is fun too,

you know?

It doesn't have to be

all business all the time.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- So listen,

it's not gonna work.

- What's not gonna work?

- Well, just the whole thing

with Randy.

I mean, he's different,

isn't he?

Don't you think?

- Yeah, he's not, like,

out of control Randy.

He's, like, super depressing.

- Yeah, he's just not

the same force of nature

that he used to be, you know?

Just tell him it's not gonna go,

and, you know,

I just didn't want

to embarrass him.

Hey, do you have any rubbers?

Did I already ask you that?

- Yeah,

you already asked me that.

No, I don't have any rubbers.

- It's just a different way

of saying condoms.

- Yeah, I know what rubbers are.

- Okay.

This is embarrassing.

I left my keys in the house.

Can you go get 'em?

- Hey, buddy, listen.

I'm... I'm really sorry

that it didn't work out.

I know that you tried

really, really hard.

And, look, I know

you're gonna get a break.

I know you are.

All right, I'll just...

I'll see you later, okay?

I'll make dinner.

Love you.

- Hello?

- Jason, congratulations.

We sold the show.

- The show with Randy Plymouth?

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