JCVD Page #4

Show me the move,

just once, please! Go ahead!

Please, Jean-Claude!

Let's all applaud!

Nice, Jean-Claude!

Told you he was the best!

Where are you going?

Who told you to move?

Get back there.

Faster!

Where's my ciggy?

Open your mouth!

Move back a bit.

A bit lower.

- Jean-Claude?

- Yeah?

- It's been years...

- So, don't do it.

Just once!

He shows up and says "Go!".

So off I went with him.

He said that?

Yes, sir.

I did what he told me to,

he's a big star!

- What's this?

- I just fell!

And what are you doing?

Come here now!

- He needs a doc.

- Are you a nurse?

Mr Van Damme!

This is...

Commissioner Bruges,

pick up the phone

so we can talk.

Is this a joke?

No, Jean-Claude.

They saw you with

the cabinet.

- Moving a cabinet is robbing a bank?

- Shut up!

If you need anything,

pick up the phone.

I'm your contact.

Bruges.

Here's our ticket out!

I have enough problems...

I said, shut up!

Go ahead, big shot!

Are we having fun, here?

Can't believe it!

- You read English?

- Yes.

If you tell them,

you'll have blood on your hands.

- What do I say?

- Let them talk.

What's "custody"?

He picked up!

Mr Van Damme.

Bruges. How's it

going inside?

It could be better.

OK, let me ask you first,

is anyone injured?

A man's unconscious

and bleeding.

OK, good.

May I call you Jean-Claude?

I'm Commissioner Bruges.

You can call me Christian.

You must release

the wounded man.

Neither one of us

wants to have blood on our hands.

Of course.

Will you release him?

No, no one leaves.

It's impossible.

What if I came with a doctor?

Hey, if there's a murder,

it's no longer a robbery.

- And if I come with a doc?

- Alright, but unarmed.

I give you my word.

Bruges...

- Whoever walks in is dead.

- If a man dies, we're screwed.

Heard me earlier?

Well, they could come naked.

In hostage movies, the bad guys

ask the good guys to come in

naked, so they know

they're clean.

How about naked?

Fine, tell them.

Where's Petrucciani?

Egg breaks.

Sorry, man!

Didn't recognize you!

Speak.

Hey, Jeff, how are you?

Hey, dog!

What's up, dog?

Good, good, good...

Not so good.

I need some money.

Listen,

can I advance, er...

Can the producers

advance me some money?

Listening Jean-Claude,

I was gonna call you...

...right after your

vacation was over.

They took

someone else.

Who?

Steven...

Steven?

He promised to cut

his ponytail.

It hurts,

i know.

Ok, ok, can you... Can I borrow

some money from you?

Hello!

Crank it up...

Hey, man! You're breaking

up here, I'm losing you.

You must be in a

tunnel or something!

Cut the bullshit!

Come on the phone!

All right.

Yeah, yeah.

What's next?

No Limit Injury.

It's about a Viet vet...

We've done this

movie 6 months ago.

We did?

What's next?

No Limit Injury 2!

It's about a Gulf War vet.

who fights to pay

for his son education.

- Is it good?

- I don't know.

- Did you read it?

- I don't know.

Call the producers... and...

tell them I need some upfront.

- Hey, man, I can't do that!

- Just f***ing do it, Jeff!

Aren't you Van Damme?

You're Jean-Claude Van Damme,

my idol!

Listen...

I'm really tired and I...

Don't start acting

like a big shot,

Mr Hero of the century!

I can finally talk to you

and listen to that tone!

Let me talk to you.

You can rest, but let me talk.

Close your eyes,

but let me talk to you.

Anyway, when I see

you on screen,

well, you're really

different!

Really?

I think you look much better

on screen.

And you're much nicer too,

I can tell you that...

- No, it's just that...

- Even if you're tired.

I like you better on screen.

- You hurt my feelings.

- Oh, c'mon...

I always thought

you'd be nicer.

Everyone worships you

here in Belgium, you're our star!

You represent us

in Hollywood.

Get used to having a driver

who talks!

OK.

- Please!

- Sorry.

Yes, sorry! Yes!

What's that?

You don't need to show off!

- You're doing it on purpose or what?

- No, I'm not.

But you're nice.

You too, but even

more on screen!

It's hot in here!

- Should I open?

- No, I'm tired.

Then sleep, but let me talk.

All cab drivers in

Brussels talk!

You better get used to it

if you come here often.

No, seriously!

Star, star, star.

What are we talking about?

I surely didn't expect

this kind of attitude!

Ma'am, I didn't mean to...

Sorry.

Well you hurt me anyway,

you don't realize, you're my idol!

I'm sorry.

I saw all your films.

How can you be so rude?

I'm sorry, I'm tired...

- I still want a picture with you!

- I promise.

- Promise?

- Yes, ma'am.

- And you'll sign it?

- Yes, ma'am.

- It's for my son!

- Yes, ma'am.

Jean-Claude!

It's been over an hour and a half now

since Van Damme

has taken refuge in the Schaerbeek

downtown post office.

She looks better on TV.

We can't really say

what happened.

After using a gun

several times,

an anonymous source says...

So tell the source

to stay anonymous!

If anyone blabs,

you'll hear from me!

Yes, chief.

Thank you, chief.

Call him back.

No, he was here

and there were three people there.

OK, the Prefect authorized

the transfer. It's an order.

And the ransom?

- That'll have to calm him down.

- I've seen worse.

There's no attack.

With a kid inside, I'm not budging.

He picked up!

Good news!

- The transfer's authorized.

- Did it go through?

It will

if you cooperate...

Sorry, but it's a 2-way street.

And the money?

Same thing, it'll

take a bit longer.

You're gonna have

to cooperate.

It's...

What do you want?

The kid. Let him go.

I'll call you back.

The crowd's agitated.

Something's going on over there.

What's the commotion?

Let's go.

Despite all this confusion,

a car is trying to

get through.

- Who is it?

- What?

- Who is it?

- The Van Varenbergs.

- Who?

- Van Damme's parents.

Why don't you escort them?

Please! Please!

Mrs Van Damme!

Your son...

My son's a good man!

No comment!

What do you think you're doing?

Trying to screw me?

- You're nuts or what?

- Say you wanna screw me.

- I'm not saying that.

- The kid stays.

- They gave in.

- Shut up. It's our only vest.

He's right. They gave in.

Hey, who's doing the hold-up?

They gave in to him.

No hostage is leaving.

Get back, I told you!

For the second

time, don't move!

- Watch your tone.

- I do as I please.

- Get on back!

- Shut up, you heard me.

- Lower your gun.

- Calm down!

You lower yours first.

- Go on back.

- Shut up and lower your gun.

- Go on back.

- I'm going now.

They'll break negotiations.

And I'll break your neck.

If it's not the kid,

let a hostage go.

Just don't shoot, man.

Don't shoot.

Stop it.

He's right.

If we let one go,

he's gonna talk.

Not the one I'm thinking of.

Tell them we'll release one.

- Your maniac son hurt someone.

- Maniac?

He's Jean-Claude.

He's Camille.

He's Franois.

He's Van Damme or

Van Varenberg!

But he's not a maniac!

Get outta here.

He's on the line, boss.

Gotta do something

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