Jebiga

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F*** I Hey, that tickles.

- I'm doing it on purpose.

I want to see

if it makes you horny.

There's a big difference

between horny and tickling.

Quite often guys

get really excited.

Last time some guy

really went for it.

But he got scared when

I grabbed him by his dick.

Not surprising.

- I was disappointed.

My gran used to say -

a lost dick never comes back.

And neither do the blokes.

- That's right.

Eh, don't you ever think

about anything else?

Rarely. Sometimes, during sex,

I try to think of football,

so I don't come too quick.

But it doesn't really help,

because footballers

turn me on, too.

Hey, what about you?

I already told you,

You're too cheeky for me.

I could only spank you.

Oh yeah, you naughty boy.

Think about something else. Or I'll

have to go to your competition.

Oh, yeah, so some queer gets

you with his razor. Sorry.

That's OK.

Oh, my little, tongue.

Always going up and down.

You should cut it off, but

then how would I...

Sorry, I must think

about something else

or I'll lose

a regular customer.

Ah, you know what I always

forget to ask you?

Where did you get

all these sexy scars?

I mean, these cute scars?

Which one are you most

interested in? -This one.

Oh, a boat fell on my head.

- How? Did it turn around or?

It was hanging up and then

a little girl came along,

she pressed a lever and...

- Hang on, I don't follow.

The boat was hanging up, and,

I'm not that smart really.

I know. Give me some paper

and I'll draw it for you.

Yeah, great.

I dig pictures.

This is the sea, this is me,

this is the house and this

is the boat, which is hanging up.

This is the girl who's interested

in this handle thing here,

she touches it, the boat falls,

the boy falls, his head cracks.

Draw your face,

the way you looked afterwards.

Baza, babe, how was it?

- Oh well...

Where were you? -Portoroz.

- Still better than the Canaries.

At least you can walk back home,

if you've had enough.

Where's Dejan?

- Working.

Oh yeah, this is my friend Baza.

This is Misko.

Hi.

- Isn't he cute?

Did he bring the picture

to show what style he wants?

Frida.

- When can you start?

Now, right away.

- What are you looking at?

As though a boat just fell

on your head. Fancy Baza?

Look at her tits, mine are

so tiny, it's not fair.

But they can still

make you horny.

D'you think this mirror

deforms me?

You always look gross

when you've got a hangover.

Watch out for the girl,

or you'll get another scar.

Look, again.

Hey, mate, got any dosh?

Hey, mate, got any dosh?

One more time:
hey, mate,

got any dope?

No, we haven't. We lead

a healthy lifestyle. Hi, Doza.

Hi, Quiet.

Are we in good health?

Oh, Luka

you had to piss again.

He who drinks, pisses.

Gimme a can of Union.

Got any money? -Put on my tab:

money is on the way.

Oh, fresh shave, summer style.

So, who cut it? -Frida.

Last time I went there and

I had a constant hard-on.

Yeah, and then she grabbed you

by... Let's not say what

and you got scared.

- Hey listen, I wasn't scared.

You were scared. -I wasn't scared.

- 'Course you were scared.

I wasn't. It's gonna be her turn

next time, yeah, no worries there.

We know guys like that.

Gimme that beer.

Work calls, I'll have to work.

- Yeah.

I need you to do me a favour.

- Another one?

You owe me tons of favours,

not to mentioned unpaid jobs.

OK, OK. Look, I've got

a friend who's got a son.

The kid wants to write for

my paper. I think he's talented.

Only now in summer there's

not enough work for him.

So take him round a little,

show him some stuff.

Do you have a fridge here?

This beer is warm. That's not

good service, my friend.

Show him the business,

help him out, take a photo for him.

Hello? -You mad, or what?

That lot are the worst.

There's no way

I'm taking care of some kid.

Who wants to get on the front

page with his first story.

Do you want nobody

to commission pictures from you?

Don't blackmail me. -Do you want me

to pay you what I owe you?

Go and f*** yourself.

Hi, I'm the one.

- The one who?

That journalist on the phone.

When can we start?

I've got lots of ideas,

good ones.

Journalist, were you

waiting in ambush?

I haven't agreed anything with

your boss so you're on your own.

Hey, Misko, would you say

this is a cold beer?

It's OK. Leave it.

He said that in the end

I have to mention your cash.

It may come soon,

or it may not.

You've said that nicely, mister.

What do you want from me?

When are you

going on holiday?

First of September, as usual.

- Great, we've got enough time.

Well, I want a killer headline,

something juicy.

We need some politician

to get caught with some slag,

or an interview with

a Montenegrin gangster.

How about starting off

by interviewing

a popular accordion player,

Miss Slovenia.

Hey, do an interview with me.

I'm a hard case.

What are you doing?

- All kinds of stuff.

Business. I start projects.

Big ones.

You will all have your turn.

- Don't you ever mention me.

Look, a series of articles -

politicians on vacation,

where they are and stuff.

We'll find someone, on the beach

those sunbathing pics,

bare arses and all that.

Sunburnt.

You got a car?

- No.

You got money

for travel expenses?

The boss never mentioned

any money, except your fees.

You got at least a pencil

and some paper?

I never write much in the field.

Got an amazing memory, see?

Buy a dictaphone, grow a bit

of beard, I'm not gonna

take around some kid.

You look like a scouts' journalist.

Bye, see you tomorrow. -OK.

Hey, Frida's got an incredibly

cute new hairdresser.

I know, small, big tits,

Dejan's girlfriend.

Who's Dejan?

- A bloke. Loads of money.

His dad handles

his business. Tightwad.

Will you show him to me?

- Mhm, as soon as he's here.

He comes round sometimes.

We really got wasted last night.

- And we'll do it again.

What d'you want?

- Cold beer. What's up?

The boss went on holiday

and said no credit.

Eveybody's giving me a hard time.

- What eveybody? I can't see no one.

We had a fight out the back.

Nobody gets nothing,

no credit, and that's final

no exceptions, the boss said.

Oh yeah, this guy's been

looking for you all day.

Look, dicky, dicky, dictaphone.

We can start.

You know how much it costs?

Good thing I've got a dad.

Put it on credit. -I'm telling

you, no more credit.

You told me too late.

Alas, I'm broke.

Yeah. -Hi. Did you arrange it

with the kid?

First have a word with

the waiter about the money.

He just cut off my credit.

Why don't you pay him, man,

if he did what he had to do?

F***ing boss arseholes.

- Thanks. -Don't mention it.

Did you hear that?

You have to pay. What is it?

Go and take a photo

of a kids' playground.

Motherhood, dog sh*t

or needles in a sandpit?

No. Kids playing,

the usual, kitsch.

When do you want them?

- It's urgent.

Yeah, when isn't it?

What is it?

You don't look too happy.

We're boycotting.

- They introduced fascism.

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