Jeff, Who Lives at Home Page #5

Fine. I'll take you to f***ing Cochon.

We'll...

- Yeah.

- God, you're not even listening to me.

No, I'm hearing you loud and clear.

You're not! It's not about the restaurant.

I just want you to, like,

care that I want to go there!

And do you think it's about this guy?

Because I really don't even

f***ing care about him! He's nice.

- He listens to me.

- I'm nice.

But you and I, we are petty,

we are passive-aggressive

with each other,

we don't even fight!

I mean, this is a miracle right now!

And what I think, honestly,

is that we have no house,

we have no kids, thank God!

It would be really f***ing easy

for us to just walk away!

It'd be super simple.

And that is what I think

that we should do.

Hang on, hang on.

You know, let's just not,

like, let's just not...

Can we not talk about this anymore?

Let's just go home

and sleep on it, and, like...

And like...

Forget it.

I'm gonna go stay at my mom's.

Bye, Jeff.

Jeffrey, where are you?

I asked you to call me

after you got the wood glue.

I'm at the office.

Let me know what's going on.

Thanks. Bye.

Oh, please.

It sure is a noisy little thing.

Yeah.

- Eight glasses a day, my doctor says.

- Really?

You're kidding me. Blow out my biceps

trying to lift these cups that many times.

- I'm Barry.

- Sharon.

Nice to meet you.

Same here.

What am I saying?

I know you're Sharon.

I've seen you around.

I really do like flowers.

Yeah?

Like,

metaphorically, too.

Symbolically. All kinds.

Gardenias are my favorite.

I'm not following you.

Excuse me.

It was nice meeting you.

Just stupid.

Sharon?

What's going on?

I think it's over.

What happened?

What?

This is not the way I imagined

my life was gonna be.

How did you imagine it?

I was gonna be in the Peace Corps

and all that crap, you know,

with some guy in an exotic place,

all worldly and giving and sh*t,

and living in a little hut,

and taking care of cute little kids

and kissing under waterfalls

and stuff, you know.

You can still kiss under waterfalls

and stuff like that.

It's like,

how many good years do I have left?

I hate my kids right now.

I don't know when that happened.

They were so cute.

I look at the pictures of them,

and our family...

Don't cry.

Have some more tissue.

- Don't explain. Oh, God.

- No. I just...

Oh, Carol, I'm sorry.

It'll just make it worse. Don't explain.

But it's not what you think!

Yeah, it is.

I wish that I could

see the world like you.

Really?

I don't know. You have this, like,

belief in this cosmic order.

I really envy that.

You don't want to be like me.

I'm not happy

at all.

You know, since Dad died,

I've had this...

Had this feeling

that it had to be for a reason.

I keep thinking that

the signs are all about me, but maybe...

Maybe they're about you

and your marriage.

My marriage is not good.

It

is a

disaster.

I just want to feel

like I love Linda.

And I want to feel like she loves me.

And we both want to, like, be in love.

I miss it and I want it so bad.

I think you should just say that.

To her.

It's not that simple, Jeff.

I don't know.

I think it could be that simple.

I mean, wouldn't you be psyched

if Linda walked in here right now

and sat down in this tub

next to you and said,

"Pat, I want to be

in love with you again"?

That would be awesome.

Dude, you need to say that to her.

You need to tell her that right now.

- River Parish.

- I am so sorry.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

Don't apologize, seriously.

- But I want to.

- It's okay.

No, I just... It was so weird

and didn't come out the way I...

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

It's just that I'm not gay.

But that's okay. I'm not gay, either.

But you like women.

So?

Well, I like men.

I like men, too. And to me,

it's like, at this point in my life,

whether it's a man or a woman,

it doesn't matter.

I want someone who gets me.

I feel like I deserve that.

And I think you do, too.

Well, it's important, yes.

But it doesn't mean

I want to sleep with everybody

that understands me. That's all.

No, no, no. That's not my intention.

Isn't the most important thing

finding someone

who sees you exactly as you are?

Who gets the Peace Corps

and the kissing under waterfalls?

Yeah.

So? Carol? Are you there?

Hello?

Sh*t.

Okay, sorry, everybody.

Just head for the exits! Single file!

Keep it orderly! Please!

Close your eyes.

It's clear. Come on.

There's my car, right here.

Where are we going? We're all wet.

- I don't know. What do you think?

- I'm sorry, I don't know.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Let's go to the mall and get drinks

with the little umbrellas in them.

Bigger. Wilder.

I haven't been to New Orleans

in 20 years. How about that?

It's perfect.

Okay, let's go.

Come on out, everybody!

Just come right out.

Sh*t.

What is this?

It looks like really bad traffic.

Well, I mean in your, you know...

- You mean, like, is it a sign?

- I don't know.

It could be.

- It definitely could be.

- How do I know what to do?

That's the big question, yeah.

It's a constant struggle.

I think you got to go with your gut.

Well, I'm not going to stop now.

Right?

Hey, Pat?

If we don't get a chance

to reconnect today,

I'm, like, super proud of you.

Linda!

Linda!

Sorry.

- Second thoughts?

- Well, I just...

It's okay.

Pat?

Pat!

- I think that's my son.

- Sharon?

What now, my man?

I guess I'll go back.

We'll have to wait

for all this traffic to clear.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just...

You ever feel like you're waiting forever

to figure out what your destiny is,

and then when you do

it's not really that exciting?

Linda!

Pat?

Pat!

Linda!

What are you doing here?

I want to be in love again.

What?

Things have gotten way off track.

And weird and shitty.

And I'm a big part of that,

and I'm really sorry for it.

- Pat!

- What?

Honey, what's happening?

What's the matter?

- Why are you running down...

- Mom?

What's going... Oh, hi.

- Wait, what are you doing here?

- What are you doing here?

How did you get here?

In Carol's... This is Carol.

Hi.

I'm Linda. Nice to meet you.

Jeff... Jeff's here?

Whoa, hey! Did you see that?

Is he okay? Is he okay?

Yeah, we're here.

A car just went off the bridge.

There's people inside of it.

Somebody jumped in!

Wait! Our dad's still down there!

F***.

Come on.

Help! Help us!

Dad!

Help!

Come on, girls! Come on. Swim hard!

Come on, honey! Give me your hand.

That a girl. Come on.

- Get back there.

- Dad?

Hey, the car's going down!

The car's sinking!

Dad!

Dad!

Jeff!

Jeff!

Dad!

Come on, Dad!

We need some help over here.

Pat?

Over here! Over here!

Pat!

Pat!

- Jeff!

- Jeff!

Help! Help!

Man in the water!

Help!

Two survivors in sight.

Five feet off the first cleat.

Coming into the dive deck.

Hurry!

Get a hold of him!

One, two, three!

Jeff!

We have an unresponsive person!

He's not moving!

Call the command center!

Have an ambulance meet us at the pier!

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