Jennifer Falls Page #2

WAYNE:

Hey, Sis.

JENNIFER:

Wayne!

SHE HUGS HIM, THEN LOOKS AROUND.

JENNIFER (CONT’D)

God, my old room. It’s like a time

capsule from 1985. (OFF A POSTER)

Why was Pat Benatar so angry?

WAYNE:

(SHRUGS) Love is a battlefield.

How’d it go with Mom?

JENNIFER:

One step in the door and she was

already driving me crazy.

WAYNE:

You just have to remind yourself that

your relationship with Mom has nothing

to do with you.

JENNIFER:

(LAUGHS) Right. I always forgot.

WAYNE:

And the job search?

"Epidode Title" 12. 12.

JENNIFER:

Horrible. I’m basically being

blackballed by my industry because

they say I have anger issues. Can you

believe that?!

WAYNE:

(HE CAN) That’s... crazy.

JENNIFER:

Guys in my business yell all the time

but I can’t. I have a vagina!

WAYNE:

(UNCOMFORTABLE) Are we going to talk

about your vagina?

JENNIFER:

And now my stupid doctor thinks I

should change careers because my work

is so stressful. Does he have any

idea how stressful it is to change

careers?!

WAYNE:

Whoa, did that vein in your temple

always throb like that? Look at that

sucker go.

JENNIFER:

Crap. I’m supposed to avoid that.

Shove over.

SHE LIES DOWN ON THE BED, TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND STARTS A

SORT OF MANTRA.

"Epidode Title" 13. 13.

JENNIFER (CONT’D)

Calm place, calm place, calm place...

Where’s my stupid clam place?! Oh, okay,

there it is. Better. Better. (LOOKS UP

AT THE CEILING) How did my life turn out

like this? I was going to be the first

American woman in space.

WAYNE:

‘Til Sally Ride beat you to it.

JENNIFER:

Yeah. I know she was a hero and a role

model who died too young but I kind of

hate her.

SHE GETS UP AND STARTS PUTTING THINGS AWAY.

WAYNE:

You could always come work for me at the

bar.

JENNIFER:

(TOUCHED) Aww, thanks, sweetie.

WAYNE:

I know you used to buy and sell

companies a ten times bigger than

ours, but-

MAGGIE (O.S.)

Jennifer! Charades! You’re a team

captain!

"Epidode Title" 14. 14.

JENNIFER:

(BLURTS OUT) I’ll take it!

MAGGIE:

You serious?

JENNIFER:

I gotta get my own place. I’ll take

it. If you don’t mind me working

there while I look for a real job.

Sorry, not a “real job.” I mean...

WAYNE:

It’s okay, Jen. I know you didn’t get

your MBA to push rum bombs on Jamaica

Me Crazy Tuesdays. You can stay as

long as you want. No pressure.

JENNIFER:

Thanks, bro. (HUGS HIM) That’s what

I need. No pressure.

WAYNE:

Stephanie’s going to be thrilled to

work with you.

JENNIFER:

(REALIZING) Oh, God.

WAYNE:

Hey, there goes that vein again.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE:

"Epidode Title" 15.

ACT TWO:

SCENE D:

FADE IN:

INT. MAGGIE’S LIVING ROOM - MORNING

GRETCHEN IS ON THE COMPUTER. JENNIFER COMES IN.

JENNIFER:

I have to go into the bar early to

train so Grandma’s picking you up from

school. What’s that?

GRETCHEN:

My Facebook “In Memoriam” page.

JENNIFER:

Your what?

GRETCHEN:

I don’t want my friends to know what my

life is like now. This is way easier.

JENNIFER:

Telling them your dead?

GRETCHEN:

Of a wasting disease, yeah. My skin

was looking horrible, they’ll totally

buy it.

JENNIFER:

Take it down. Tell you what. We’ll

go clothes shopping tomorrow. That

always makes you feel better.

(MORE)

"Epidode Title"

JENNIFER (CONT'D)

16.

(OFF PAGE) Since when were you an

accomplished pianist?

GRETCHEN:

I’m dead, who’s going to quibble.

RESET TO:

KITCHEN:

JENNIFER ENTERS AND FINDS MAGGIE MAKING BREAKFAST.

JENNIFER:

Morning, Mom.

MAGGIE:

Morning! It’s so good to have you

back, honey.

JENNIFER:

Thanks. You know I’m not “back” back.

It’s just for a few months.

MAGGIE:

A few months. For ever. Whatever you

need, honey.

JENNIFER:

Mmm, bacon waffles? Okay, I may stay

forever.

THEY SHARE A SMILE. JENNIFER POURS HERSELF SOME COFFEE.

JENNIFER (CONT’D)

So, any one left in the neighborhood

from the old days?

"Epidode Title" 17. 17.

MAGGIE:

Let’s see. Seth Dorfman is living in

his Mom’s garage--has it fixed up real

cute. He runs his own computer repair

business and he’s still single.

JENNIFER:

It’s like something out of a fairy

tale.

MAGGIE:

Oh, and I ran into your old friend Dina

Simac at the grocery store last week.

JENNIFER:

(BRIGHTENING) Dina?!

MAGGIE:

I asked her over for dinner.

JENNIFER:

Awesome! I love Dina. We have that

kind of relationship where, no matter

how long it’s been, we can just pick

it up again without missing a beat.

MAGGIE:

She doesn’t want to see you.

JENNIFER:

What? Why?

MAGGIE:

I’m not sure.

JENNIFER IS CRESTFALLEN.

"Epidode Title" 18. 18.

MAGGIE (CONT’D)

Are you okay, honey?

SHE STARTS TO REACH FOR HER DAUGHTER’S FACE.

JENNIFER:

Mom, don’t grab my face. Do not grab

my face. You know I don’t like it

when you grab my face.

SHE GRABS HER FACE.

JENNIFER (CONT’D)

Mom!

MAGGIE:

You’re angry.

JENNIFER:

Yes! Because you grabbed my face.

MAGGIE:

Jen-Jen, talk to Mommy. What’s going

on?

JENNIFER:

Let go! It drives me crazy when you

infantilize me.

MAGGIE:

(LETS GO) Oh, please. You’re my baby

girl and you always will be. If you

want to call that infantilizing...

"Epidode Title" 19. 19.

JENNIFER:

Everyone calls that infantilizing.

It’s what infantilizing is. (CALLING

OUT) Gretchen, breakfast!

JENNIFER GOES INTO THE LIVING ROOM.

RESET TO:

LIVING ROOM:

JENNIFER RETURNS TO FIND GRETCHEN STILL ON THE COMPUTER.

JENNIFER:

You’re not still on that creepy

memoriam page, are you?

GRETCHEN:

No. I found this awesome e-funeral site.

It’s a cyber funeral your friends and

family can click on and “attend.” I can

pick my own music and flowers and write

my own eulogy. See, I even get to design

my own avatar priest.

JENNIFER:

Is that Johnny Depp?

GRETCHEN:

Yes! Captain Jack Sparrow is saying

my funeral mass. What do you think of

the Twilight coffin? I know it’s a

little douchey but-

"Epidode Title" 20. 20.

JENNIFER:

You’re not having an e-funeral. Come

and eat or you’ll be late for school.

GRETCHEN:

I hate public school. I hate my life.

It’s not fair. None of my friends’

parents lost everything!

JENNIFER:

Good. My plan succeeded. I destroyed

your life.

GRETCHEN:

And now you’re ruining my funeral!

JENNIFER:

Let’s go.

GRETCHEN:

Fine. (OFF COMPUTER) Oh, hey, check

it out. Maroon 5 are my pallbearers.

CUT TO:

"Epidode Title" 21. 21.

SCENE E:

INT. OVERTIME SPORTS BAR - CHATSWORTH - EVENING

THE PLACE IS A LOT LIKE CHILI’S. WAYNE IS WORKING BEHIND THE

BAR. JENNIFER COMES OUT OF THE BACK ROOM WEARING A LOW CUT,

BLACK AND WHITE STRIPED REFEREE SHIRT AND BLACK SHORTS.

JENNIFER:

Wow, I’m not used to seeing this much

of my b*obs at home.

WAYNE:

Sorry, Sis, franchise policy.

Besides, you totally look hot. If I

weren’t your brother-JENNIFER

Not a sentence I want to hear the end of.

WAYNE GOES TO SERVE A CUSTOMER AT THE END OF THE BAR AS

STEPHANIE ENTERS FROM THE BACK.

STEPHANIE:

Hey, sexy. Here. (ADJUSTS HER

CLEAVAGE) Let the girls out a little.

It’ll jack up your tips. (THEN) Oh,

they are out. You know what, just

smile bigger.

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