Jennifer’s Body Page #3

Another body under here!

♪♪ [ Rock ]

I heard Needy and Jennifer

were there,

and they had to

fight their way out

with a machete.

Look, she's not

even moving.

It's called post-traumatic

stress disorder.

My dad was in Operation

Enduring Freedom,

and he totally, like, stopped talking

for, like, months.

I'll be Perfect Prom Betty,

and you be her.

Why do I have to be Ugly Ashley?

Ow!

What's wrong, Jennifer?

Don't tell my mom about this.

She'll make me a shot.

I never tell on you.

Where's it at, Monistat?

- You're all right.

- Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

'Cause last night

at my house, you were—

You do have a tendency

to overreact.

Remember when we were in

Girl Scout camp, and you thought

that there was an earthquake,

but it was just two guys

with a ghetto blaster?

People died, Jennifer.

It's, like, all over the news.

National news.

Anybody that we know?

We know everyone.

Sucks to be them, I guess.

What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Besides the obvious surface flaws.

[ Needy Narrating ]

I knew it was real.

I'd been up all night,

scrubbing the carnage offthe linoleum.

[ Crying ]

Shoot.

Please don't talk to yourself.

It's one ofyour more

freakish Needy behaviors...

and it makes us both look

like total gaylords.

Ew. F***. You need a mani bad.

You should find a Chinese chick

to buffyour situation.

[ Door Closes ]

This is a dark, dark day...

for Devil's Kettle.

And believe me you,

I have lived through some—

some pretty heavy stuff.

We lost eight precious students...

including Ahmet from India,

several parents...

and our beloved Spanish teacher,

Señorita Erickson.

No way. Erickson ate sh*t?

Now more than ever,

put aside your teenage concerns...

about who's a cool dude,

or who's a ho.

We can't let that damn fire win.

It already won.

God bless you kids.

[ Sobbing ]

[ Bell Ringing ]

There's no band practice today.

There's no anything today.

It's surreal, right?

When just one person dies in

Devil's Kettle, it's like time stops.

Feel guiltyjust breathing.

Word.

Chip, I need to tell you

something kinda weird.

It's aboutJennifer.

What?

You know how last night we were talking,

and someone came to my house?

It was Jennifer.

She looked like

she had been beaten up

or shot or something.

And then she barfed up

this, like, disgusting, prickly stuff...

that looked like roadkill

and, like, sewing needles

mixed together.

Yuck.

Well, she probably

just inhaled a whole bunch

of smoke or something.

No, Chip. No, it was like—

It was, like, evil.

Needy, I think

you might wanna talk

to the school shrink.

I'm not saying that

to be a dillhole.

Chip, I don't tell whoppers,

and I'm not crazy.

I didn't say you were crazy.

It's just, everybody's

a little messed up about this,

and it's okay to feel—

Discombobulated?

Yeah. F***ed up.

Hey, Needy.

- Oh, hi, Colin.

- I heard you were there last night

in the fiery trenches.

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad you didn't die.

- Thanks.

- Seriously.

How are you friends

with Colin Gray?

I thought Colin Gray

only talked to the Dead Girls.

I just am. We have

Creative Nonfiction together.

He's a really good writer.

He's, like, all dark

and emotional and stuff.

Oh. Well, I'm like that too.

I mean, I can relate.

You know, I'm not all obvious

about it like a poser.

Walk me home?

You know it, babe.

♪♪ [ Hard Rock ]

[ Woman Screaming ]

[ Man ]

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪♪

Hi.

Hey, Jennifer.

I'm crazy sorry about

your profound loss.

[ Sniffles ]

You are crying about Craig, right?

He was my best friend.

You know, I was there last night,

and I was probably the last person

to talk to him, like, ever.

Wow.

You know what he said?

Craig said that he always

thought you and me...

would make

a totally banging couple.

Isn't that just so weird?

He— He said "banging"?

Feel my heart, Jonas.

I think it's broken.

Mine too.

You come with me,

just for a little while.

It's what Craig would have wanted.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

[ Bird Squawking ]

You're so warm.

Why are you so warm?

Shutties.

[ Cawing ]

[ Barking In Distance ]

[ Squawking ]

Jennifer.

Jen.

What?

Look.

Mm-hmm.

[ Chuckles ]

They're waiting.

Okay.

Mmm.

Do you miss Craig?

Of course.

Well, you're gonna see

your buddy really soon.

What, you mean,

like, in heaven someday?

Nope.

[ Roaring ]

[Jonas Screaming ]

God.

[ Screaming Continues ]

Let it all out, kids.

[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Dog Barking ]

♪♪ [ Radio:
Rock ]

You want some baloney,

Spector?

[ Man On Radio ]

And that was Low Shoulder,

the local band...

who became unlikely heroes

ofthe tragedy

in Devil's Kettle last night.

Eyewitnesses say

the boys helped numerous people

escape the inferno,

risking their own lives

in the process.

That's rock and roll

with a conscience,

ladies and gentlemen.

And guess what. We are

honored to have Low Shoulder

in the studio right now.

Now, how you guys holdin' up?

[ Nikolai ]

We're maintaining, man.

It's not easy, but,

you know, the real heroes...

are the people

of Devil's Lake.

I just hope we can convey 1 /1 0th

of their courage and spirit...

on our upcoming album.

[ Bird Squawks ]

[ Flies Buzzing ]

[ Gasps ]

Virgin mother.

♪♪ [ Radio:
Woman Singing ]

Crap.

You said it.

Hey, Mom.

I didn't know

you were up.

Yeah.

Oh, God. I had another one

of my night terrors.

Well, it's 4:
00, so technically

you had a day terror.

Right.

What'd you dream about?

I dreamed some bad people were

trying to nail you to a tree...

with hammers

and big stakes and sh*t.

Just like J.C.

But I didn't let 'em get you,

'cause I'm a hard-assed,

Ford-tough mama bear.

I can take care of myself.

Yeah, you say that,

but one day you're

gonna be crying out for me,

and I'm not gonna be there.

[ Woman Screaming, Crying ]

No!

[ Crying Continues ]

We will get the man

who did this to your son.

Hear me.

I'll kill him myself.

I will.

Do you hear me, you bastard?

I'll cut offyour nut sack

and nail it to my door...

like one ofthose

lion door knockers

rich folks got!

That will be your balls!

[ Man On TV ]

Fatalities have grown

in a horrific fire...

that destroyed a popular

local nightclub...

[ Cell Phone Rings ]

in Devil's Kettle last night.

Yeah?

I feel so scrumptious!

Goody for you.

You know when you kiss a boy

for the first time,

and it feels like your

entire body is on vibrate?

- Yeah?

- It's that good.

Well, that's nice.

Me, I'm still a little bit depressed

about, you know,

the giant,

smoldering funeral pyre

in the middle oftown.

[ Sighs ]

Move-on-dot-org, Needy.

It's over.

Life is too short to be moping around

about some white-trash pig roast.

That's sweet, Jen.

You know, I tell it like it is.

And besides, you know what?

You should be happy for me

because I am having the best day...

since, like, Jesus invented the calendar.

Jesus didn't invent

the calendar.

Whatever.

[ Beeps ]

Other line. Hold on.

- So blow it off.

- It'll just be a minute.

Pooh. I'm crossing you out.

[ Beeps ]

Hey.

I need to see you right now.

I can barely hear you.

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