Jennifer’s Body Page #7

to consume some of

the pecan sandies

and Cran-Grape...

that were so generously donated

by the parents club.

[ Applause ]

Yeah!

Needy and Colin

were intimate.

And by that...

I mean they were porking

on a semi-regular basis.

No.

She and Colin were doing things

that you have never even heard of.

Okay?

Total varsity moves.

[ Applause ]

But the real treat

is yet to come.

We have some special guests

this evening.

I just can't believe that she would

mess with your head like this.

I care about you

so much, Chip.

More than I've ever

had the guts to admit.

These fine young gentlemen...

have been generous enough

to take time out...

from their sold-out national tour...

to play our dance

for free.

Needy didn't deserve

a boy like you.

Boys and girls,

please welcome...

Low Shoulder!

♪ All alone in an empty room ♪

♪ Nothing left but the memories ♪

♪ Ofwhen ♪

♪ I had my best friend ♪

Oh, you're so salty.

Yeah, you're... salty too.

Say it like you mean it.

Say I'm better than Needy.

What? Why?

♪ Take my breath ♪

♪ As your own ♪

♪ And take my eyes ♪

♪ To guide you home ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm still here

breathing now ♪

♪ I'm still here

breathing now ♪

♪ I'm still here breathing now ♪

♪ And I'm still here ♪

- Can we go somewhere else?

- Chip.

♪ 'Cause I'm still here

breathing now ♪

♪ I'm still here breathing now ♪

♪ I'm still here

breathing now ♪

♪ And I'm still here now ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm still here

breathing now ♪

♪ I'm still here breathing now ♪

♪ I'm still here

breathing now ♪

♪ And I'm still here ♪

♪ And you're not coming back ♪

[ Rings ]

♪ 'Cause you're not

coming back ♪♪

Hi, Camille. Hey!

Is Chipper home?

- Needy, is something wrong?

- Where's Chip?

- He left for the dance at least 20 minutes ago.

- He walked?

It's only five blocks.

My God, your hair is-

- Which way did he go?

- He usually cuts across the park.

Camille, sit like a lady!

No one wants to see your kiki!

Why don't you try-

Anita?

[ Switch Clanking ]

[ Electricity Buzzing ]

Mmm.

[ Fly Buzzing ]

What are you doing?

[ Fly Continues Buzzing ]

Swimming.

Ha-ha.

Come on, Chip.

Show me your breast stroke.

[ Sighs ]

I feel so empty.

Yeah, me too.

Why don't you just come here

and kiss me again?

I can't.

I'm sorry.

This just feels weird.

[ Gasping ]

[ Groans ]

Help!

[ Shrieking ]

Needy.

St. Jude, patron saint

of hopeless causes,

please give me the power

to crush this b*tch.

[ Gasping, Coughing ]

Needy.

[ Screaming ]

[ Gagging ]

She can fly?

She's just hovering.

It's not that impressive.

God, do you have to undermine

everything that I do?

You are such a player-hater.

You're a jerk.

Wow. Nice insult, Hannah Montana.

You got any more harsh digs?

You know what?

You were never a good friend.

Even when we were little,

you used to steal my toys...

and pour lemonade on my bed.

And now I'm eating

your boyfriend.

See? At least I'm consistent.

Why do you need him? Huh?

You could have anybody

that you want, Jennifer.

So... why Chip?

Is itjust to tick me off?

Or is it because

you're just really insecure?

I'm— I am not insecure, Needy.

God, that's a joke.

How could I ever be insecure?

I was the Snowflake Queen.

Yeah. Two years ago,

when you were socially relevant.

I am still socially relevant.

And when you didn't

need laxatives to stay skinny.

I am going...

to eat your soul...

and sh*t it out, Lesnicki!

- Thought you only murdered boys.

- I go both ways.

[ Gasps, Groaning ]

[ Groaning Continues ]

Ow.

[ Screams ]

[ Exhales ]

You got a tampon?

Thought I'd ask.

You seem like

you might be plugging.

[ Chip Moaning ]

[ Sobbing ]

Oh, Chip.

Needy.

I should have believed you.

I'm sorry.

No. No, no. Listen to me.

I'm gonna get some help. Okay?

Okay? Yeah. Okay.

[ Coughing ]

[ Gasps ]

It's not working.

[ Banging Phone On Cement ]

F***!

- Come on!

- Hey, hey.

I'm going somewhere.

No, no, no.

You're not going anywhere.

Yes, I am.

I think I already died before you got here,

but I woke up when I heard your voice.

I love you.

I love you too.

And you look totally hot

in that dress.

Oh, you're clearly delirious.

No, I'm not.

Oh, Ch— No!

[ Screaming ]

No!

No!

[ Sobbing Continues ]

No!

[ Man On TV ]

Abduction and adduction, right?

Inner and outer.

But you know

what's really important?

"Hurdle" or "Sprint."

That's huge.

Now, say I wanna do just

my hip flexors orjust

my buttocks even more.

I do what's called digging.

I use this for a lot

of swimwear models.

Very, very, very important.

How about Butt Squeeze?

Yeah, I see you wanted to touch.

Not this show!

Not touching this show!

Okay. And of course-

[ TV:
Off]

[ Screaming ]

[ Grunting, Yelling ]

Best friends forever,

huh?

You killed my f***ing boyfriend,

you goddamn monster!

You dumb b*tch!

[ Groans, Screams ]

Mmm!

You know what this is for? Huh?

It's for cutting boxes.

[ Groaning ]

Do you buy

all your murder weapons

at Home Depot?

- God, you're butch.

- [ Yells ]

Cross outJennifer.

[ Groaning ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Moans ]

My tit.

No. Your heart.

[ Exhales ]

Jennifer, what is it, baby?

Needy?

[ Grunts ]

Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God!

- [ Gasps ]

Oh, God!

[ Exhales ]

[ Sobbing ]

I don't know

who Needy Lesnicki is anymore.

[ Sniffing ]

I'm a different person now.

A person who uses curse words

and kicks orderlies...

and sees things that aren't there.

A very bad, very damaged person.

But sometimes change can be good.

For instance,

most occult scholars don't know this,

but ifyou're bitten by a demon

and you live,

you just might absorb

some of the demon's abilities.

You just might get lucky

for once in your miserable life.

[ Crash, Fence Rattling ]

Where are you looking to go,

young lady?

East, towards Madison.

Hop in my chariot.

So, why are you headed east?

I'm following this rock band.

[ Chuckles ]

Must be one hell of a group.

Tonight's gonna be their last show.

♪♪ [ Rock ]

[ Woman ]

♪ And the sky was made of amethyst ♪

♪ And all the stars

are just like little fish ♪

♪ You should learn when to go ♪

♪ You should learn how to say no ♪

♪ Might last a day, yeah ♪

[ Fans Clamoring, Chattering ]

♪ Mine is forever ♪

♪ When they get what they want ♪

♪ They never want it again ♪

[ Bell Dings ]

♪ When they get what they want ♪

♪ Well, they never want it again ♪

♪ Go on, take everything ♪

And he's f***ing out!

♪ Take everything

I want you to ♪

Candy chest.

♪ Go on, take everything ♪

♪ Take everything

I want you to ♪

Look at this motherf***er!

Don't be filmin' this.

[ Doorbell Rings ]

Listen, go get the door.

That's a sharp table knife you got.

Get the f*** out of here.

♪ Go on, take everything ♪

♪ Take everything

Take everything ♪

♪ Take everything ♪♪

♪♪ [ Rock Ballad ]

[ Man ]

♪ Darling

Darling, darling ♪

♪ I can't wait to see you ♪

♪ A picture ain't enough ♪

♪ I can't wait to touch you ♪

♪ In the flesh ♪

♪ Darling

Darling, darling ♪

♪ I can't wait to hear you ♪

♪ Remembering your love ♪

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