Jersey Girl Page #6

---

some balloons, pop open the champagne?

Why don't you guys

throw yourselves a party?

-What happened?

-Nothing happened.

I'm sh*t, okay?

And I was stupid enough to forget it

for one second!

He blew her off. I knew he would.

It's good for her.

It'll cool her jets for a while.

-Listen to yourself.

-What?

You disgust me, you really do.

You sit there, with your hair

and your legs and your shiny lips...

and you're either giving out orders

or passing judgments...

on anyone who can't live up

to the great Cookie's standards.

Look at us. What's so great about us?

We're not beautiful. We're not rich.

We're not too incredibly special.

We're just girls. But we're friends.

You know what I'm saying?

We have nothing, and less than nothing,

if we don't have loyalty.

Excuse me. Move.

Gabe, this is a Heidelberg Press.

It's the fastest printing press in the world.

You give me the artwork tomorrow,

and I'll have the separations the day after.

-You're kidding.

-I'm not.

I'm talking about Wednesday,

Thursday of next week.

It will be in the magazines by Friday.

Hey, you!

Mr. Big Shot. That's right,

I'm talking to you.

You think you are so cool, don't you?

Let me tell you something, Sal.

When you gave up Toby...

you gave up the best girl

you ever had the chance to meet in your life.

-Get your hands off me!

-Jimmy, get them out of here.

And that's why guys like you

are so goddamn ordinary!

-Jimmy, get them out!

-Out.

Come on, the bunch of you.

Sal, what was that? What is this?

What?

I'm sorry, Gabe.

Excuse me.

A little misunderstanding.

-Let me show you the rest of the plant.

-Who was that redhead?

You like her, too?

Right.

Wait a minute. That's my fish!

Where are you going? Come back here!

-She's got the fish.

-Oh, my God!

-Keep it down.

-Where's the elevator?

You guys, we're gonna get arrested.

Here it is! Come on!

There you are.

Playing hide-and-seek?

Let me give you a little piece of advice.

Don't risk this for an easy lay.

I saw you at the benefit.

You take such girls to a hotel.

You don't take them to meet the mayor.

Back off, Mitch. I like that girl.

Relax, okay? Take it easy.

Gabe likes her, too. He likes her a lot.

He wants to know if you're done,

so he can have a crack at her.

You know what?

Toby may not have a lot of style...

but she's got more class

than you and Gabe put together.

Where you going?

Sal, we're not through here.

What are you doing?

What am I doing? I'm out of here.

That's what I'm doing.

Okay, so fine. So you like the girl.

I like the girl.

Gabe likes her. We all like her.

She's a likable girl.

Now you listen to me, goddamn it.

I watched you. I groomed you.

I taught you which fork to use,

how to tie your tie.

I showed you how to make money.

You listen to me.

I showed you.

I invested myself, you hear me?

Yeah, you groomed me?

Is that what you said?

You groomed me? You did a hell of a job.

You taught me how to steal accounts.

You taught me how to pimp for clients,

anything to close a deal.

The real world too much for you, Sal?

Neither one of us could spell "real"...

even with a gun up our ass.

You leave now, Sal, you end up

back on the street where I found you.

You know what? I'd rather be in the street.

These potatoes are real?

The box was real. How's that?

I don't think I ever told you this...

but your mama and l

wanted to have a whole bunch of kids.

But when only you came...

it was okay,

because we thought you were perfect.

I ain't saying that 'cause I'm your father.

If you were a stranger

who I met at the hockey game...

and I saw how pretty and sensitive you are...

I would think,

"This girl is a perfect living miracle."

And if this Sal guy doesn't think so,

then he's a loser.

And he needs glasses.

-I love you, Pop.

-Yeah, I love you, too.

So let's eat.

What do you think?

Maybe I should have cooked the box.

Come on, all right?

Bennie, have you seen Toby today?

She left already.

Do you know where she went?

No, nothing's wrong.

Listen, will you do me a favor?

If you see her, will you tell her

that me and the girls are looking for her?

Here she comes.

Okay, I'm a jerk.

I'm probably gonna be a jerk again, right?

But I'm good with kids.

I'm a great tipper,

you guys know that about me.

And I'm generally a good friend.

So what do you say? How about it?

Come on, guys, are you listening to me?

Oh, God!

-You should've been there.

-It was beautiful.

-We nailed him in front of God, everybody.

-It was great.

You guys stole the fish.

-Dottie stole it.

-I stole it.

-She kicked ass. Cookie kicked ass.

-I would expect nothing less.

Are you out of your mind?

This is absolutely wrong.

Can't you see that?

These two pieces cannot possibly

be hung on the same wall.

-Don't you think I'm right?

-About this? Yeah.

About us...

no.

What are you talking about?

You see, Tara, you and me,

we're like these two paintings here.

We shouldn't be hung on the same wall.

She'll never fit in.

I don't want her to fit in.

"And the handsome Prince

fought the evil dragon in a mighty battle...

"and saved the beautiful maiden

from sure death.

"'I love you, fair maiden,' said the Prince.

'Will you marry me?'

"'I love you, too,' said the maiden.

'And I will marry you."'

But not until after I finish law school.

-Is that really what it says?

-That's what it should say.

Okay, it's nap time.

We all gotta get to our mats, okay?

Who's that?

Okay, I want you guys to be good.

I'm gonna be right back, okay?

Outside.

What are you doing here?

I want my fish back.

I want you back.

I don't want you back.

I love you, Toby.

You do?

Take a look, Sal, 'cause this is it.

This is me.

And I like who I am.

And I don't want to change it for you

or for anyone.

And I don't want you to change.

Lie to me, Sal, but don't lie to yourself.

You'd run over me

and every kid in this school...

to save a dent in your stupid car.

Is that what you really think of me?

I know where you're at, Sal.

And I'm just not there anymore.

All the boys are being crazy,

and they won't let me sleep.

I gotta go.

So I guess you're gonna need a ride.

Yeah, maybe I do.

So call a cab.

You know I would, except that I hear...

that cabs in Jersey take four, five times

longer than they say they're gonna take.

Seems like it's a really big problem

they have here in Jersey.

You got another big problem here in Jersey.

-What's that?

-Me.

-And you call me a bad driver?

-No, wait, I did that on purpose.

On purpose? What is that, a male thing?

You could have just brought flowers.

Hey, who let these animals out of the zoo?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes