![Find Jersey Shore Massacre on Amazon](https://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTQwODAwODcxN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMDg1NzI0MjE@._V1_SX300.jpg)
Jersey Shore Massacre Page #2
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
Here it is.
You're Romano.
They're Romero.
Romano, Romero, Romano
You're two different parties.
That explains everything.
Fine... so can you get those
chongas out of our house,
so we can finally
shower and unpack?
I'm afraid I can't do that,
and here's why.
You see, I already
gave them the keys,
and then now they
take over the house.
That's the law.
See, the house is not mine,
it's theirs.
I know it's
a little peculiar,
but it's how they
do it in Jersey.
Now that every house
and hotel are booked,
where are we
supposed to go?
Nice going, Ronnie.
You managed
to f*** us all.
Hold on--
hold on, hold on.
Why don't you guys
just stay here with me?
Uhh! Excuse me?
Look, I can find ways
of keeping you girls
reasonably... entertained.
Ugh!
I'll take that as a no.
Or I'll take it
as a maybe.
Their loss.
Okay, pot, it's you and me.
Huh!
I don't speak Mexican
or Puerto Rican,
but I know they
F***in' nightmare.
Hold on a second.
I'll be right back.
one more look,
I swear,
I'm going to f*** her up.
Who would believe
that someone
could screw
something up so bad?
Are you trying to say
this is my fault?
Well, whose
fault is it?
Oh, my God, your
little f***ing rat dog
just pissed on
my f***ing leg!
Thanks for telling me.
I gotta go now
and disinfect his pee pee.
Oh, my God,
you're the best!
Thank you!
Uh-huh.
Ugh!
Everybody
back in the car.
Where are we going?
My Uncle Vito's house.
Where's that?
About 15 miles
west of here.
Do any of youse
have a napkin?
Follow us.
Whoo!
Kiss my ass,
chonga!
Gnaw on some meat?
Do they even know where we're
going, or are we just lost?
I'll tell you right now,
we're going straight
back to Brooklyn
if she thinks we're staying
at a f***ing campsite
all weekend.
Your news for Ocean County.
Human remains
were found today
in the Pine Barrens section
of New Jersey.
According to detectives,
the victims
were alleged members
Details of how this will
affect the upcoming trial
of Big "V" Rubino,
coming up.
Wow.
This ain't no campsite.
Where the hell are we?
We're right at the edge
of the Pine Barrens,
that's where we are.
So where's
this Uncle Vito?
He's at his home
in Staten Island.
If he tries
leaving the house,
the cops come,
and he could be put in jail.
So he's under
house arrest?
I mean,
what did he do?
You know,
he's an entrepreneur.
But because he's Italian,
they keep harassing him
he does.
It's this way.
Oh, wow.
Here we are.
You can put your stuff
down here.
Wow, look
at all this stuff.
This has all
the Belgian whistles.
You know, Teresa,
I know your uncle,
and I can't ever see him
buying a house like this.
It was willed to him.
Willed to him--
by who?
Some guy in
the entertainment industry
that he used to do
business with.
What happened to him?
Uh, no one really knows.
But since my uncle has business
in New York and Philly,
he kept this place because
it's located
right in the middle.
What about the people
that live around here?
My uncle says
they're not really friendly,
unless they're trying
to sell you things.
Well, obviously,
they would be jealous,
seeing how they live,
and then seeing all of this.
It's pretty awesome--
the only thing
we're missing now is a Jacuzzi.
Hey, even better.
Swimming pool!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
Awesome!
Perfect.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Not too bad, right?
Wow, you guys, we could
totally go swimming later.
You guys can go.
It's kind of dirty.
Should we call someone
to clean it?
Uh, no.
I just have to clean
the leaves off
with the skimmer
and change the filter.
Ew!
Where did that come from?
He had to come
from the lake.
Ohh.
Eww!
What lake?
Um, I think it's...
that way.
Come on, I'll show you.
Come on,
little guy.
This is not a good idea.
Be free, little guy.
Saved your life.
That's not funny!
Teresa can't swim!
She has a serious fear
of water, you stupid b*tch!
F*** you, Dina.
If you didn't f*** up
the beach house,
we wouldn't be here
right now.
I'm sorry, Teresa.
It's okay.
Let's just go back
to the house and unpack.
You okay?
Yeah... I'm okay.
Okay, so there's
plenty of rooms.
I'll room with Dina.
Gigi with Joanne, and Valerie
Uh-uh, I'm not
rooming with Candi.
Why not?
'Cause she farts in
her sleep.
I do not.
Yeah, you do.
Okay, I'll stay
with Candi,
and Dina can
stay with Valerie.
I'll just have to keep
my window open all night.
Knock it off.
Where's my cousin
gonna sleep?
Uh, if she shows up,
she can have the couch.
Good?
Fine.
All right, let's go.
Whoo!
Good.
Come on,
my little stinker.
Oh, stop it.
Uhh!
This freaking bag
is so...
heavy!
Just be careful.
They already started
renovating downstairs.
Sorry, Teresa.
Was that expensive?
You're not going
to unpack?
Ugh, I'm so f***ing tired,
I'll do it later.
What's that?
What do you think it is?
I know what it is,
but really?
Did you actually think
you would need that thing
down the shore--
I mean, you might as well
bring sand to the beach.
Well, I don't leave home
without it, and don't touch it.
Yeah, 'cause I'm just dying
My name is Edgar.
Would you like to try
some of my sausages?
No, thank you, Edgar.
Yeah, none of us
eat meat.
Yeah, we're all
veterinarians.
All you girls look
so pretty and shiny.
Are you
all sisters?
I never had sisters.
I have a brother--
he's a a**hole.
No, we're not sisters,
but, um,
it was nice
meeting you, Edgar.
So instead of watching
hot-looking guys
with washboard stomachs
on the beach,
we're gonna
hang out with Edgar,
the 300-pound
axe murderer, instead.
Just because he's big,
sloppy, and weird
doesn't make him
an axe murderer.
So what are we
doing tonight?
I'm getting bored.
I'm not driving
all the way back
to the shore
in that traffic again.
Fine, Teresa, what
do we do around here?
to a bar or a club.
Those things don't
exist around here.
Mm, there was
that sign down the road
for that Jersey Devil
tour.
Are you kidding me?
Walking around
in the woods,
listening to
stupid ghost stories.
Well, we can either do that
or stay here all night
while Edgar leers
at us through the windows.
Who knows, maybe we'll
meet some hot guys.
Well...
Good evening, ladies.
Would you like to take
How much for
the six of us?
Uh... $7.50 apiece.
Screw that--
we want a discount.
Uh, $50 for the six
of us.
Fine.
All right, soon as all
your group is here,
we'll have Junior
take you on your tour.
Is it scary?
Scares the tar outta me.
Great, let's
f***ing go then.
Okay, let's go.
Yes.
Okay, I hope we're all
keeping our eyes open
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Jersey Shore Massacre" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jersey_shore_massacre_11246>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In