Jeruzalem Page #4

Let's just say that

lightning struck last night.

Several times.

What about you,

Mrs. Jones?

Uh...

No way. Oh, my God!

Somebody's finally starting

to go with the flow!

- [LAUGHING]

- No!

- It's gone, it's nothing.

- My dad's gonna kill me.

I didn't scratch it.

Just try it on.

- Rache...

- It's gone.

- I think it's broken.

- Let's go.

It's not working right.

Today Omar takes you

for sightseeing in the old city.

We'll start at the market,

and then we'll go

to the Armenian quarter,

and then we'll go

to the Jewish quarter

and finish with the great...

- Opa.

- Hey.

Hello, good morning, neighbor.

Hello.

- Glass, take a picture.

- You like what you see?

OMAR:
I hate these a**holes.

RACHEL:
Really? They seem nice.

You Americans are so nave.

But you know how to party.

SARAH:
Kevin, what's up?

What is this place?

OMAR:
This?

You don't want to come here,

believe me.

This is, eh...

How you say?

- A cuckoo house.

- SARAH:
A cuckoo house?

- What, like a mental asylum?

- Yes, for people who go crazy.

There's a lot here in the city

like this.

A lot of tourists come here,

they see their own eyes

what they read in the Bible,

and they go cuckoo-ruckoo.

KEVIN:
You mean

Jerusalem Syndrome?

Yes. This city can bring

a lot of madness for the people.

Let's go.

- [LOUD CHATTER]

- Sarah, look at me.

Oh, wow.

Pretty.

"Don't Worry, Be Jewish."

SARAH:
I'm so getting that one

for my dad.

See?

What's that?

OMAR:
This is where we pray.

SARAH:
No way. That's amazing.

They're all praying?

They always pray here.

KEVIN:
Nice dress.

Yeah, very.

I'm gonna check

how much it is.

No. Kevin, stop.

Don't worry. I got this.

You Jews wear white

on Yom Kippur, right?

Now you have

something to wear.

Thanks, Indiana.

- Rache!

- Is this real leather?

- [BELL TOLLING]

- Wow.

Sarah, you're gonna get lost.

Come on.

Okay, okay.

- Smells like something.

- You smell perfect.

Rache, I don't think you're

allowed to do that here.

Put it in your bag.

Western Wall.

This is the holiest place

in Israel.

- Better give it some respect.

- All right, all right.

Rache, you know I don't believe

in that nonsense.

Just give it a chance.

Just write down your deepest

and strongest wishes, okay?

All right. Here it is.

Nothing special.

Just world peace.

Hope we're good.

- [SQUAWKING]

- Whoa.

What the hell?

- What the hell?

- What the f***?

That was creepy.

Let's get out of here.

What is this place?

Come on, let's go.

Come on, come on.

GUIDE:
Welcome to

King Solomon's Quarries,

the biggest artificial cave

in the Middle East.

- OMAR:
Take helmet.

- GUIDE:
Please, everybody,

take a helmet

and turn on the headlights.

You know that these are

the exact same flashlights

that were used by King Solomon's

diggers a thousand years ago.

[LAUGHING]

- GUIDE:
Okay.

- SARAH:
That wasn't funny.

King Solomon was...

[MUMBLING]

Bla bla bla.

Bla bla bla.

- Boo!

- Rache! Stop doing that!

Yeah, I'm a retard, I know.

WOMAN:
Excuse me,

I have a question.

SARAH:
Hey, Kevin.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Sure.

Let's go.

This just keeps going

deeper and deeper.

This is insane.

Kevin?

Kev? Indiana?

KEVIN:
I'm here.

Hey. There you are.

What is that?

GUIDE:
You can see the peephole,

the eye peek.

There are plenty more like this

all around here.

KEVIN:
This guy is really

starting to bug me.

- Can we get out now?

- Yeah, sure. We're almost done.

GUIDE:
Researchers

are still arguing

what these holes are for.

Some say it's for...

SARAH:
What's wrong?

I'm suffocating in here.

I can't breathe.

Oh, my God. It's okay.

Come on, it's okay.

- Hey, are you good, white boy?

- Yeah, yeah, you guys go on.

- We're fine.

- Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah. We're just gonna

go out for some air, okay?

We'll meet you

back at the hostel.

Come on, Kevin.

Everything's okay.

I'll take you outside.

- It's okay.

- KEVIN:
Come on, Sarah.

- Everything's okay.

- No, it's not.

I'm going to the city archives

to check the books.

Kevin.

Kevin, wait for me.

- Hey, Kevin!

- Something's not right.

Hey, wait up!

Hey, Kevin!

Oh, God.

That cave was insane, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was nice.

Too bad you guys weren't there

waiting for us.

Omar took us to the best

hummus place.

Kevin needed some air.

I'm really worried about him.

Listen, Rache, I think we got

Jerusalem covered.

I mean, I was talking to Kevin,

and we're thinking of going

to Tel Aviv tomorrow night.

What do you think?

Why? The vacation's

just beginning.

Are you serious?

Now I want to stay,

and you want to go?

Rache, there's something weird

about this place.

Or maybe you two are developing

Jerusalem Syndrome,

- and you are going crazy.

- F*** you, Rache, I'm serious.

Oh, God, Sarah, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm kidding,

It's my bad joke.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

Look, the whole city's

shut down now anyway, okay?

So the second Yom Kippur

is over, we're outta here.

Promise? Hmm?

[BANGING ON DOOR]

KEVIN:
Sarah, Rachel, open up!

RACHEL:
Sarah, what's going on

out there?

You have to pack now!

We have to leave!

SARAH:
Why? What happened?

I don't understand.

Kevin, listen to me.

Everything's gonna be fine.

We're gonna go to Tel Aviv

tomorrow night.

There's not gonna be

tomorrow night!

- What are you talking about?

- I know you think I'm crazy.

Something bad is happening

here, Sarah! Pack up!

Kevin! Kevin don't!

- RACHEL:
What the f***?!

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Kevin!

You have to believe me

'cause they won't.

SARAH:
I don't understand

what you're talking about.

Omar, Fauzi, everything's okay.

I got this.

- [SPEAKING ARABIC]

- KEVIN:
Sarah, tell them to go.

Listen, Kevin, everything's

gonna be fine, okay?

- Just calm down.

- [SPEAKING ARABIC]

No, no, no, no.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

KEVIN:
Sarah, listen to me!

- We have to leave!

- Were there any signs before?

It's important

for you to remember.

SARAH:
I don't know.

He just started talking funny,

and then all of a sudden...

I don't know. I don't know.

Everything will be okay.

Don't worry.

KEVIN:
Get your hands off me!

- Kevin, my friend, come.

- No, no, no, no!

SARAH:
Hey, Fauzi, stop.

Hey, guys, where are you

taking him?

OMAR:
Come with us. Don't worry.

Everything will be okay.

Come, come.

Watch the steps. Come.

Are you okay, ladies?

We have a saying here:

"If you're talking to God,

it's good.

But if God is talking to you,

then you have problem."

- Where have they taken him?

- Don't worry.

He will rest a few days,

and he will be as good as new.

That's what usually happens

to people who go [WHISTLES].

It's not the first time

it's happened here, is it?

No. This happens a lot here,

especially to Catholics.

Go figure.

Anyway, I see you later,

ladies? Hmm?

Don't worry.

He will be just fine.

RACHEL:
The second Yom Kippur

is over,

we're on the first bus

out of this place.

- We're restarting this trip.

- What about Kevin?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes