Jesus Henry Christ Page #6

opportunity to tell my father

how much I miss him.

How much I loved him.

I hate you, Billy Herman.

I hate you so much.

Mothballs and menthol.

You don't have to pretend like

you want to be here.

I could pretend to be polite,

courteous and communicative.

But I'm not.

I'm a teenager.

You're 12.

I'll be 13 in a week.

$0'?

So I could

pretend to be happy,

pretending that

you don't exist.

But I wouldn't be happy

After all,

you are my brother.

It's such a relief knowing

that Gunter's not our dad.

He was such a tool.

You saw

the lab report?

That means

you lost the bet.

That means I won.

Dad loved you

most of all.

Yeah, right.

I was an accident.

It was an accident

I was ever born.

Dad always wanted a girl.

After four boys in a row,

he finally got one.

You.

After he...

told Henry the truth,

I...

I wished he was dead.

Well, at least now you know.

That I wasn't an accident?

No, you'd better be

careful what you wish for.

Cool.

Mom?

Mom?

Yes, Henry, honey?

Who's this?

That's your Uncle Jimmy.

No, I mean that.

That's you, Henry, honey.

But I don't remember ever

meeting Uncle Jimmy.

How could you?

You were less than

a week old.

And you were sound asleep.

That was the day I told Jimmy

I named you after him.

Henry James Herman.

I was named after

my Uncle Jimmy.

A week later,

you were at his funeral.

Do you remember that?

Yeah.

Me too.

Why don't we put this...

back where it belongs.

Every book

should have a title.

Well, it could,

couldn't it?

I don't think so.

You said it yourself.

My guess is

as good as yours.

It's highly improbably that

the "H" stands for Henry.

Let's say that

you could go back in time.

Would you still publish

that book?

So many unintentional

great things

came to be

because of that book.

Just answer

the question, Dad.

Yes.

I most certainly...

would not.

No.

I would not publish

that book.

You can't change the past.

But you can

change the future.

Henry's right.

Today is my birthday.

And now that

I'm an adult...

I feel that a I have

a moral obligation

to help make

the world a better place.

You do?

You'?

You, me.

We should all be the change

we wish to see in this world.

Shouldn't we, Henry?

We should try.

That is why after much

thought and deliberation,

I, Audrey O'Hara,

on my 18th birthday,

will donate 20% of my trust fund

to the following organizations.

Okay, fine.

Make that 25%.

and that's final.

I suggest you write

this down, Dad.

Uh...

Right.

Don't seem to have a pen.

Thank you, Henry.

Proceed.

The National Organization

for Women.

The Environmental Defense Fund.

The National Gay

and Lesbian Task Force.

My name is

Audrey Stravinowsky

and I am a lesbian.

Patricia was right.

When I turned 18,

I did thank

her for the money.

The annual stipend that she

negotiated for me

when I was ten

was more than enough.

A donation in

Stan's name was made

to the National Law Enforcement

Memorial Fund.

The rest was donated to

the AIDS Research Alliance

to ensure that the memory

of my Uncle Jimmy

would never again fade away.

But I'm getting

ahead of myself.

We have a birthday

to celebrate.

J' For she's

a jolly good fellow J'

J' For she's a jolly

good fellow J'

J' For she's

a jolly good fellow J'

- J' That nobody can deny M

- J' And so say I M

The candles aren't lit.

Oh, right.

Henry, honey,

hand me your lighter.

I can light

the candles, Mom.

I can do this.

I will do this.

Thank you, Dr. O'Hara.

You're welcome...

Ms. Herman.

And please

call me Slavkin.

Slavkin Stravinowsky.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes