Jet Pilot Page #5

---

What's your first name?

Jim.

Jim and Anna.

Anna and Jim.

Are you married?

That's good.

Are you?

Ever been in love?

Not in your sense of the word.

Oh.

So you feel about love...

the same way you feel about religion?

That's right.

Both are dangerous narcotics.

They make individuals forget

their duty to the state.

How's that?

Well, under the influence

of love or religion,

individuals are unable to sacrifice

one another for the national good.

Now, isn't that just too bad?

Why?

You were made for it.

- Made for what?

- Love.

I don't see the connection.

Why do you suppose

you're so beautiful?

Purely a biological fallacy

which makes our necessities

appear pleasurable to us,

like eating, drinking

Then you do admit

that love is a necessity.

I admit that passion is.

What's the difference?

Well, it's pretty hard to explain.

Why?

I haven't sufficient flow of speech.

Have you had many of them?

Many what?

Women?

Well, I don't know.

These giris, were they

as beautiful to you as I am?

No.

Not one?

Not lately.

Are you sure?

Sure, I'm sure.

What about you?

I'm not ignorant of passion,

but I've never had

such a feeling for a man before.

I've never been so stirred by a kiss.

I can't even stop thinking about it.

You're not the only one.

We, uh, can't do it here,

of course.

No.

But it won't hurt to talk about it.

No.

It's almost as nice.

Well, go ahead.

Do you close your eyes

when you do it?

Don't you?

Well, you know what it means

when you don't?

You're thinking of someone else.

What kind do you like best?

The slow, sweet ones like this?

Have you ever smelled

anything more divine?

Well, we're gonna have one

just like it in a few minutes.

Isn't this it? You mean

they have more than one like this?

Sure.

That's all they serve here.

Oh, dear.

What's the matter?

We're lost.

Who's lost?

How can Russia compete

with such propaganda?

Good night.

I had such a lovely time.

So did we.

See you tomorrow, Rex.

Oh, no, you won't.

Why not?

We've gotta drive back

to the field.

What's the rush?

We couldn't find a room.

The town's jammed.

Oh, that's too bad.

What about our sitting room?

Well, what about it?

Why couldn't they use that?

Oh, we wouldn't wanna bother you.

I should say not.

Bother? Why would it bother us?

The room is empty.

And the couch is one of those

wonderful American inventions

that can be turned into a bed.

Isn't it, Jim?

Yeah. Come on.

Sorry, folks. We haven't got a thing.

All filled up. Not a place I could put you.

Well, looks like

we have to go back to L.A.

But, honey, I'm just dead.

Let's try someplace else, huh?

This is Major Rexford and his wife.

They're gonna use my sitting room tonight.

Care to register, Major?

With pleasure.

What's your name?

Oh. Mary Lou Simpson.

Are you married?

Why, yes!

Jim? Jim,

this is Mr. And Mrs. Simpson.

How do you do?

They can use my room.

Huh?

Go on and register.

Well, wait a minute.

Where are you gonna sleep?

Well, there are two beds

in your room, aren't there?

Yes, but

You can't sleep in both of them.

Well, I know, but

Don't worry. I'm used to it.

Nobody in Russia has any privacy.

But how are you gonna

It's very simple.

I merely undress in the bathroom.

Haven't you got that bed fixed yet?

Look, honey.

This is the swellest nightgown

I've ever seen.

Just as light as a spider's web.

Jim picked it out for me.

Honey, the colonel

picked it out for her.

Well, what are you

looking at me for?

She asked me which one I felt

was the nicest, and I told her.

That's all.

Jim, I understand perfectly.

So do I.

I do too.

Well, who asked you?

Let's get this thing fixed.

That's easy.

I've handled beds like this before.

Here we go again.

Hello? Who is this?

Oh, hello, General.

Yes, she's here.

What did you say, sir?

Yes, sir. I understand.

It's, uh, five after 3:00.

We'll leave right away.

Yes, sir. Good-bye, sir.

Looks like you're gonna have

a bedroom to yourself after all.

Well, what happened?

I gotta take Anna

back to Palmer Field.

Something wrong?

I'll say.

They're gonna deport her.

"A" For Anna

calling "S" For Shannon.

Go ahead, Anna.

I guess this is the last time

we'll be flying together.

I was just thinking the same thing.

I thought Palmer Field was that way.

It still is.

Then why did you change your course?

I think you'd be better off

if we go this way.

What are you going to do?

I'm not gonna talk about it

on the air.

I thought Palm Springs was hot,

but this place is simply fantastic.

Yuma's always like this.

It won't be bad after

the air conditioning gets to work.

You think that clerk'll be able

to locate the justice of peace?

Sure. The judge gives 24-hour service.

So does the license clerk.

You folks are as good as married

right now.

Here ya are.

That's all right, sir.

I'm an old air-force man myself.

Is that why you brought me here?

To get married?

Well, they can't deport

the wife of an American citizen.

But you'll get into trouble

if you marry me.

Sure, I will.

Plenty of trouble.

Wait'll I take a shower, Jim.

I'm soaking wet.

So am I.

What will they do to you?

I don't know.

Probably kick me out of the service.

Is that all?

Isn't that enough?

You love your air force

a great deal, don't you, Jim?

Well, I've been in it

quite a while, you know.

Then why are you doing this?

Wouldn't you do the same for me?

No.

You wouldn't?

Of course not.

Was that better?

You're still going too high.

Watch this.

I see.

How was that?

Well, now you got it!

Hello, Palmer Tower, this is 1-9-0

on base leg.

Gear down and in the green.

Roger, 1-Niner-0.

This is Palmer Tower.

You are number one to land.

I have a message for you.

Go ahead.

General Black requests that

you report to his office at once.

Ah, roger.

Yesterday morning at 3:00,

I told you to start back here immediately!

Yes, sir.

You're just about 30 hours overdue.

Yes, sir.

Where have you been all this time?

I've been looking all over

the country for you!

Yuma, sir.

Yuma?

What did you go there for?

To get married.

Married?

You married that Russian girl?

That's right.

You married that girl after I told you

she was gonna be deported?

Yes, sir.

That's why I did it.

Will that make any difference?

Not after two or three years

of red tape.

An alien cannot be deported if it works

a hardship on an American citizen.

Jim Shannon, do you realize

you've cooked your whole career

just to get this girl out of a jam?

Yes, sir, I thought about that.

I've been thinking a lot about it.

Apparently, you're in love with her.

What else does it look like?

Well, I'm sorry, Jim,

very sorry,

but I think I've got

a pretty fast cure for it.

Cure? I don't know

that I wanna be cured.

As your wife, she can't

be deported for some time.

That part you've accomplished.

But that's only peanuts.

Now I'll tell you the real jam you're in.

You're married to a Soviet agent.

Yes, sir, one of their best.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes