Jingle All the Way 2 Page #6

- Sure is, buddy. I got it for my daughter.

She sure is lucky.

I wanted the same thing, but Daddy says

Santa's on a tight budget this year.

That's terrible. Well, maybe your

daddy will come up with something...

...and you'll have a good

Christmas this year.

He can't. He doesn't get out

of jail till Valentine's Day.

He was just trying to steal enough

money so Mom could get her operation.

Man, that's really sad.

Oh, well.

I just hope Santa doesn't

forget me on Christmas...

like he did last year.

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

Hey, kid.

Catch.

You're giving me your

Harrison Talking Bear?

Yeah. I figure since Santa's on a tight

budget this year, I'll be Santa's helper.

So Merry Christmas.

Sucker.

And that's why some

couples just have pets.

I've been had.

Bring me back that bear!

Sorry kid. Come back here!

Bring me back my bear!

Excuse me. Sorry. Give me that...

Give me that bear!

I got you, you little punk.

Now give me that bear.

- Fat chance, tubby.

- Tubby? Come on.

You know that's hurtful. I'm not Tubby.

I'm big boned. Now give me that bear.

Please, mister. Don't take my

Harrison Bear. I'm begging you.

Kid, just give me the bear.

I won't let you take my bear,

no matter how much you threaten me.

Hey, what's going on here?

Are you threatening this little boy?

I'm not threatening that punk.

He tricked me out of that bear.

It was a gift from my daddy, who's in jail.

And he wants to take it away from me.

That's real rich, kid. That's real rich.

You're pretty good, you know?

Larry. Just because you've

fallen on hard times...

that's no excuse to

steal from a child.

No. Y'all are misunderstanding the whole

thing about what's happening here.

Oh, I understand. I understand

you should be put in jail.

- Come on. Let's get him.

- Let's get him.

Wait a minute.

For the record, Janie...

I dumped you.

Oh, that's it. Let's get him!

- Let's get him!

- Get him!

Get him!

Nice work, kid.

Fifty bucks, as agreed.

- It'll be a hundred.

- We agreed on 50.

Delivery charges.

Or do you want me to give

it back to the doofus?

I'm starting to feel like

the doofus myself, kid.

On three.

One, two, three.

Stupid bear.

That tickles.

Get back here! Get him!

- Come on, get him.

- There he is!

Stop him!

Help!

Oh, he's faster than he looks.

He's gotta be around here somewhere.

Keep looking.

- Sinner! Sinner!

- Where did he go?

This wouldn't have anything to do with

you trying to get that toy, would it?

It actually would, Maggie. Oh, boy.

I need a cup of coffee.

And a defibrillator.

And in the final run-up

until Christmastime...

shoppers are swarming the malls

looking for last-minute gifts...

and stocking stuffers.

But for those shoppers who

are hoping to pick up...

a Harrison Talking Bear before

Christmas are going to be out of luck.

Toy-store managers are saying...

that they don't expect any more Harrison

Talking Bears in until after Christmas.

For Channel One News,

I'm Margo Price.

Thanks, Margo.

Is there anything else on

the list you can get her?

How about a Mr. Potato Head?

Everybody loves potatoes.

Everybody don't like Potato Heads.

Besides, that Harrison Bear was the

only thing she had in the letter.

And I'm pretty sure Victor's

bought her everything else.

Boy, the one time of year I can do

something special for my little girl...

and ends up being an epic fail.

- It wasn't that bad of...

- It was a fail.

For those of you who haven't

finished your Christmas shopping...

At least it wasn't in the dip.

- Larry Phillips.

- Larry Phillips?

I understand you're in the market

for a Harrison Talking Bear.

Something about a Harrison

Talking Bear. Go ahead.

Come to McKibble's old junkyard and

meet me in the warehouse at midnight.

Come alone and bring $500 cash.

- Five hundred dollars?

- Five hundred dollars?

You sure you're calling

the right house?

Am I talking to the man who wants to

make his little girl happy? Am I correct?

Because if I'm not, I have a long

list of other parents who want to.

Hey, no, no, no. Listen, I'll be

there at midnight with the cash.

I gotta get $500 fast.

I think I'm gonna wait in the car.

I ain't going in there by myself.

You're coming with me.

Hello?

Anybody here?

- No, so can we just leave now, please?

- I ain't leaving till I get what I come for.

I got a bad feeling about

this place, Larry.

Well, just figure it's like a

business transaction or something.

- Business transaction?

- Yeah.

Oh, sure.

A business transaction in

the middle of the night...

in a creepy, deserted place where

nobody can hear our screams for help.

All right, enough. Knock it off.

You're freaking me out.

- You're making me nervous.

- I should've waited in the car. I told you.

I told you to come alone.

I got $500 in my pocket.

That's a lot of money.

Whenever I leave the house with that

much, I bring a backup. Who are you?

You didn't follow my instructions.

- Why are you talking like Batman?

- Yeah, he does a bit.

- The original or the ones that came later?

- Ones that came later.

- Which one?

- Scott Baio.

He wasn't Batman.

- He played that...

- That's enough!

You don't recognize me?

Maybe I should give you a hint.

Merry Christmas, happy Holidays...

happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa...

and a very happy winter solstice.

- That's the dude from the toy store.

- Working in a toy store has its advantages.

Hey, it's me, Jeffrey.

Mild-mannered toy-store clerk by day,

purveyor of childhood fantasies by night.

For a price.

And since we all have our cards on the table,

I brought a little backup of my own.

Little backup?

- Oh, he meant that literally, didn't he?

- I knew elves were for real.

That's not an elf, brother.

That's the dude from Taxi.

Sebastian is a temporary

coworker at Toy Traders.

What are y'all doing down

here scalping Harrison Bears?

It's weird. Doesn't make any sense.

Because I have big plans, Larry. Big plans.

And I'll tell you something for free.

They don't involve

waiting five years...

to become a junior assistant

associate manager at Toy Traders...

nor do they involve dealing with

obnoxious parents like you...

who yell at me when I can't magically

produce whatever toy their kids want.

Let's cut to the brass tacks.

- You got the money?

- Yeah, I got the money.

- Do you got the item?

- Yeah, we got the item.

All right.

Hi, I'm Harrison. What's your name?

Oh, shut up.

Hi, Shut Up. Nice to meet you.

I really hate these things.

Okay, let's see the cash.

- There it is.

- My associate will count it.

- It's all there.

- We're gonna find out if it's all there.

How's it look? Great.

Looks like your quest is over, Larry.

Oh, man. This is

finally gonna be over.

Police. Everybody freeze.

- I knew they were monitoring my phone.

- Put your hands up.

Don't shoot. My father is a veteran.

- Sebastian, hide the evidence.

- You ain't going anywhere with that bear.

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