John Tucker Must Die Page #2

you're kind of obligated to...

to belt it out,

Yeah,

I'm Scott,

You're from...

Chemistry, right?

Yeah, Yeah, I'm-I'm Kate,

So, um, where is everybody?

Detention?

You-You came early

to detention?

Oh, um, well, it's, you know...

I would hate

to m-m-miss a minute...

of being... detained,

Hey, babe,

Hey,John,

I had a great time with

these two on the beach,

Ugh...

Oh, Wow,

That's not, uh, usually

the reaction he gets from girls,

It's generally more like a...

Yeah, okay,

''Jerk'' isn't really my type,

Yeah, you're right,

He can have his jerk moments,

Oh, I thought he was you

guys'... god, or whatever,

You're close,

He's my older brother,

Oh, You're the other Tucker?

What is that? Is that, like,

''the loser Tucker''?

Oh, no, no,

That's not what I meant,

I just... you just don't look...

Hot, buff, or capable of

inciting an all-girl smackdown?

No, you're right,

Naw, it's-it's cool,

I'll let you in on a secret, though,

My mom...

says I'm special on the inside,

Good for you,

Yeah,

John? Can I talk to you for a sec?

Yeah, sure,

Later, guys,

Later, man,

So, what's up?

In PE today, some loser said

that she went out with you,

Really?

And you believed her,

No, I mean, I don't know,

You can't have a girlfriend...

...in basketball season,

But...

if I could...

you know who it'd be,

You know, I don't know why

girls say stuff like that,

I mean, I think they're just...

jealous of what we have,

Because we share

something special,

Something we don't have to label,

You know, it's...

it's an unspoken bond,

And I love how secure you are,

All right,

Detention has begun,

I'll be right back,

And no talking!

So, I talked toJohn,

It was sweet,

He felt bad for you,

He said that you were jealous because...

we share something special,

Something that...

we didn't have to label

because it's...

Because it's our unspoken bond...

and I just love

how secure you are?

And it hurts me to hear

you question it?

Because you're the...

...only girl for me?!

Damn!

He said the same thing

to all of us,

Figures, He makes up with us...

and then he hooks up with us...

You guys hooked up?

John and I share

something special,

Oh, what, that you've both

been in your pants?

We share a vegan/nonviolent

outlook on life,

Hippie slut,

Oh, nice, Heather,

It's not like everyone

doesn't know...

that Little Miss Cheerleader

brings it on,

- Look...

- You, too?

-John and I belong together,

He is the team captain,

and I am...

the head cheerleader,

Oh, I'm sorry...

what kind of cheerleader?

Oh, like he'd take

either of you two seriously!

- Do not lump me with her!

- Oh, so, what...

- now you're better than me?

- Shut up,

- What?

- Excuse me?

- What?

Sorry, S-Sorry,

You have something to say?

Uh...

No, it's none of my business,

What?

Okay, let me guess,

Does he always use pet names

like ''baby''...

and ''sweetheart''?

Yeah, it's not out of affection,

It's so he won't mix up your names,

And-And he's all about

an unspoken bond...

or something special,

but never about a relationship,

A-And the whole arrangement

was your idea...

so you feel guilty

that he cheated,

Oh, my God,

You're dating John, too,

No, uh...

No, I just knew a guy like him,

Skip,

She's right, I mean,

he's always making me feel guilty,

- Yeah,

- It seems to me...

that if a guy treats you

like that, it...

You'd break up with him,

Blah-blah-blah-blah,

John would have another

girlfriend in a second,

No, I didn't say, ''break up,''

I'd get even,

Who are you?

I know!

You're that girl who wigged out

last year and got sent to rehab!

No, I...

Then you got taken away

for bulimia,

- No,

- Fat camp?

- No, My name's...

- Hey! No talking!

- My name is...

- No... talking!

Hey, honey!

I'm in a hurry,

I've got a...

big date tonight,

Drummer?

Doctor,

Well, veterinarian,

Technician,

- So you're dating a dog nurse,

You've...

got a friend at the door,

What?!

LORI:

Have fun, girls!

Kate, right?

Yeah, Kate,

I wanna bring down

you-know-who,

Normally I'm opposed to

the slaughter of animals...

but in John Tucker's case,

I'll make an exception,

I don't even know him,

So? You don't know anyone,

You're like the Swiss,

You're neutered,

Uh, it's neutral,

Kate, if the three of us...

tried this alone,

we would kill each other,

You brought us here,

You showed us that we have...

something in common,

Exactly,

We all wanna killJohn Tucker,

Wow,

Okay,

Learning Center?

Who knew this was here?

Look at him, struttin' his

stuff like he owns the place,

Well, he does,

For now,

This way,

Don't touch anything,

Wow,

You spend way too much time

in after-school programs,

Thank you,

Beth, can you get the lights?

It's the remote...

labeled ''lights,''

Okay, guys, Let's go,

Please try and pay attention,

and all cell phones off,

Kate... do your thing,

My thing? Oh, okay,

What... is it

that attracted you toJohn...?

Kate, I like where

you're going with this,

Okay, girls, we need

to defineJohn,

He's a statue

wrapped in a painting...

in a frame made of muscles,

But what makes him tick?

Is it that charm?

Is it that smile?

Is it that perfect tan?

What is it, girls?

Dig deep,

It's everything,

It's his eyes...

his lips,

his chest, the...

the way that,

when he holds you...

his whole body

kinda tightens...

Uh, we all know what happens

when boys get happy,

Not what I meant!

You guys,

save it forJohn, okay?

Look, back to the point,

We all agree he's hot,

So, what do we do?

Well, in cheer, we usually

tear down the other team...

by undermining their confidence,

makin' 'em feel lame,

I don't think

this is a case for...

''U-G-L-Y, you ain't

got no alibi,''

Shut up,

Heather, as much as I hate to

admit this... you have a point,

Right,

And-And sinceJohn's game is

that he always has a date...

to get even with a guy like that,

you make him... undatable,

Yes,

- Undatable,

A systematic destruction...

of all that is John Tucker,

Girls... I think

I have an idea,

I'm telling you, babe...

you could make your

looks work for you,

Don't you think, Robert?

You know, Robert

knows my mom...

and he shoots for

Vogue, Elle, GQ,

And of course he's done...

all my yearbook photos since

middle school on recycled paper,

Okay,John,

The trick is just relax...

and behave naturally, yeah?

Now pout for me,John! Pout!

More pouting, yeah!

Oh, yeah, I love you,

I love you,

Now make me hate you!

Hate me! Yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, you hate me!

Oh, you hate me,John!

Nice, nice, nice!

Now you're a tree,

It's windy,

Shake your branches!

- Big storm,John,

- It's good,

Big storm, Bigger,

bigger, bigger,

Now hate me,John,

Hate me,

Oh, you hate me,John!

It is so amazing that

you're into sculpture,

I mean, what are human beings

here for if not to, you know...

make... horses and stuff

out of clay?

Really? I'm so glad

you feel that way,

Totally,

Hey, isn't that you?

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