John Tucker Must Die Page #6

And I really like you,

You know? And I...

I-I don't want to risk anything

by moving too fast,

So...

rather than torture myself...

I'm just going to say good night,

So... good night,

- Ow!

- Ow,

Ow,

I-I think I bobbed

when you weaved,

- Yeah,

She's going off-book,

What just happened?

Is that Beth?

What?

Okay,

Bye,

I always like a little risk,

- Oh, my gosh,

- Come on,

HEATHER:

Uh-oh,

Something is not right,

Wh... whoa,

- Kate?

- U-Um...

I don't want to risk

anything by going too fast,

Ah, Ah,

It's not even my date...

and he still gets me

out of my skirt,

Whoa,

Honey, what happened?

The sprinklers, Sorry,

Oh! That could ruin a date, huh?

It wasn't a real date, Mom,

Right,

Um...

Listen, uh...

I don't think

this is such a good idea,

You know,

pretending to like a guy,

I just... I don't want

to see you get hurt,

I'm not going to get hurt,

He is,

My advice...

is not to do this,

Mom, there's a lot of things

I come to you for advice about...

but this is not one of them,

I'm sorry, but...

honestly, how manyJohn Tuckers...

have pulled a hit-and-run on you?

That's not fair,

I have met some pretty

nice guys lately,

Right, yeah,

The drummer, the guy in rehab...

and, throw in that one

from the tanning salon...

and you've hit the trifecta,

When did you get like this?

A month ago,

you wouldn't like you right now,

A month ago, nobody liked me,

I did,

I'm sorry, I just...

It's been a long night,

I'm a little... you know...

Yeah, it's okay,

I got a little of that, too,

Good night,

Kate?

Just be careful

who you pretend to be,

I mean, I'd hate

if you forgot who you are,

I was nobody, so there's really

no risk in losing anything,

So, how long till you think

he's back again?

I say he'll show up in

the next... 30 seconds?

Come on,

Ah, like clockwork,

- That's call number five,

That's two calls past desperate,

- Get it,

Hello,

Hey, Kate, It's me,

-John?

John Tucker?

Oh, yeah, Hey,

Um, I just got in, What's up?

So, did you figure out...

if you were doing anything on Saturday?

Um... yeah,

I did, and...

Oh, crap,

What's the matter?

Uh, some perv's been

checking out the house...

and I think I see him,

I think he's in a Jeep or something,

Really?

You want me to cruise by

and check it out?

No, We're just

gonna call the cops,

JOHN:

O-Okay,

Well, I'll-I'll talk to you later then,

Sh*t,

We figured if we'd hit stalking potential...

it was time to letJohn

take me out on a real date,

What?

We're not eating here?

Nah, I thought

we'd do take-out,

Wait, where are we going?

Well, I could tell you...

but then I'd have to kill you,

- Come on,

There's our table,

Oh, my gosh,

Where are they?

Where'd they go?

Wait,

You guys...

I can't tell where they are,

Okay, it's...... it's definitely dark,

What?

I don't know,

Outside, maybe?

No effin' way!

Boat? Has anybody else

been on the boat?

I've never been on the boat,

Nobody even told me he had a boat!

She's not equipped

to handle this,

- Huh,

I'm losing them,

I'm losing them! Hey!

Oh,John,

I'm serious,

-Stop it,

We've gotta get out there,

Come on!

We've gotta get there now-ish,

I can't! This motor sucks,

- Can't you go a little faster?

- No,

Give me an oar,

I could paddle faster than you!

Just pretend

it's a whaling ship and...

go Greenpeace on their asses!

BETH:

What?

- Hey! Hey!

Nice, Gilligan here

just flooded the engine,

I'll give you ''Gilligan,''

- Heather, Heather, stop it!

- Stop! Stop it! That's wet!

You have no idea

what you're doing, Heather!

Wait,

Okay, This is fine,

This is why God

invented Triple-A,

Oh, no,

What?

No signal,

What?

No signal?

It was the first time

I was truly alone with John,

I can't quite explain it, but...

Okay, if I could dream

ofhow a date should be...

Now make a wish,

KATE:

,,John Tucker did it better,

He did it way better,

I mean, when do you cue

the dolphins?

Right,

I mean, no-no-no-no,

don't get me wrong,

It's... It's really nice, but...

are you really that scared...

to just hang out

and be yourself?

Okay, Fair enough,

But it is terrifying,

trying to impress you,

Me?

Kate, I mean...

you come out of nowhere...

and you've got

high school dialed in,

I don't really think I'm that dialed,

No, uh, you're

the varsity captain...

and the most popular guy

in school, yeah?

Right, right, right, yeah, um, I guess,

You know, I'm-I'm just lucky,

Okay...

I'm really lucky,

Yeah, and-and-and

that's why I'd be crazy...

not to make the most of it,

Look, Kate...

Maybe sometimes

I come on too strong,

I don't know who else to be,

You know, I just gotta put

my whole heart into things,

That sounds like an easy way

to get it broken,

Well... luckily, I...

figured out a way...

to protect myself against that,

Some kick-ass dance moves,

What?

- Wha...? Oh, my gosh!

I wasn't ready for that,

I was thinking about going pro,

- Oh?

- Laugh all you want,

There was a scout in the stands...

at last year's prom,

Wow,

Oh, my gosh, spill it,

We need to know everything,

Every detail right now,

I... You- I mean, you-you guys

dated him, You know,

Not on the high seas,

What the hell happened out there?

Um...nothing, you know?

It was just-We... We talked...

and it was...

It was nice,

BETH:

You just talked?

You mean, he was able to...

get intimate without being...

like... intimate?

Okay,

He is telling her anything

she wants to hear,

Look, the only way to see

if he's really fallen for her...

is to see how far

Kate can push him...

at the hotel after the away game,

Right,

Yeah, I-I... I can do that,

Oh, no, Oh, no,

I know that look,

He's got you under his spell,

What? No! I-I...

Come on,

No, you come on,

You can't lose focus

going into the finals,

Kate, we all believed him...

but there is no way to know what

this guy is really thinking,

Yes, there is,

I'm reporting from behind enemy lines...

a fortress, if you will,

where the innermost workings...

of the male psyche

reveal themselves...

like a slide under a microscope,

- Good practice, Good practice!

JOHN:

Central is going down!

Get down!

That's disgusting,

Hey, look, Ma! No hands!

Disgusting, Nice work,

- Oh! Tommy! Nachos?

- Damn!

I think it was nachos,

Holy guacamole,

Away game, dude,

You gonna be my wingman?

Naw, I think I'm just gonna

hang out with Kate tonight,

Aw, come on,

So I gotta take care...

of all that Central High tail by myself?

- Guess so,

- Ah, come on, man!

We gonna get us some girls...

or are you gonna act like one?

That's messed up, Tommy,

John, Please, please tell me...

you tapped that by now!

Boys, Boys, Look...

you don't just pop

an '82 Bordeaux...

'cause it's on your shelf,

Oh, please,

Great things take time,

Man, you whipped!

- Whipped, man!

Hey! Hey!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Nobody is whipped, okay?

John Tucker is not whipped,

Oh, here we go,

Let's just say,

at tonight's away game...

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