Johnson Family Vacation Page #7

In Jesus' name!

Let's eat.

- But, Mama... B-But, Mama, look...

- Uh-uh.!

Y'all just got through prayin'.

Don't make me cuss up in here.

- Remember there was a lamp...

- Aah! I got all the stories.

That's great.

Let's go down here

and visit with Nate's family.

Drove all the way here

from California.

Last time they was here

little Destiny was two years old.

Hey, Nate.

How you doin', kids?

Hey, how's it goin'?

Kinfolk.!

I'll be over there in a minute.

Cousin Nate! Favorite kinfolk!

Hey, man!

- How you doin', man? You doin' all right?

- All right.

Heard you doin' good in that

insurance thing. I'm proud of ya.

We all proud of ya, but I'm especially

proud of... What did I tell ya?

I told you two years ago... Me, now.

Do that insurance thing.

- That's right.

- I told you. Look at you now.

Let me hold somethin'.

- Come on, Bodie! I just got here, man.

- Well, anything, any...

What about them glasses?

Them prescription?

Look... Look, man, I'll see if

I can do somethin' for you later.

All right.

You know you my favorite kinfolk.

I'll be right here.

- I know.

- I ain't goin' nowhere.

- I know you not.

- Watchin' every move.

Why y'all leave me

over there with him?

Hey, yo, Johnson family, it's time

for the event we've all been waitin'for.

That's right... the 2004

Family of the Year Competition!

Y'all ready to do this?

Let's get this thing started.!

Crawl, like we worked on.

I've got you. Not gonna let you go.

- He's nothing.

- Don't let him scare you.

Don't let him scare you.

Here we go. All right.

- Okay.

- All right, sweetie.

- I'm gonna do it, Daddy.

- Do it.

- We need this.

- I know, Daddy.

Oh, there they go again.

Stop that fightin;!

- Hey, Mama.

- On your mark.

Get set.

Go!

Come on, Junior.!

You got 'em.! You got 'em, Mack.!

Go!

- You got 'em, baby! Do it, MackJunior!

- Go! Come on!

Monkey bar swingin'!

Monkey bar swingin'!

- Go!

- You got it.! You got it.!

Come on.!

Oh, Lord, he fell!

Hey, you...

- Yeah!

- Daddy, I did it!

She cheated!

Next event, the water

balloon toss.! Let's do this, y'all.!

Somebody gonna get

a whuppin' out here.

Mack, that gives your family two points

and Nate's family two points.

Last event... the sack race, y'all!

Oh, yeah, baby. You can kiss

that Family of the Year trophy good-bye.

Oh, I will...

every mornin' on my way to work.

Get set.! Go.!

- Till you were 12!

- I ain't had no plastic on the bed.

- Yes, you did, bed wetter.

- H-H-Hold up, man.

- Ain't nobody peed in the bed.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- You act like you tryin'to pull somethin'...

- You always talkin' that stuff.

I know that was you

that hung up on me.

Whatever!

Why you runnin'?

Ain't nobody runnin'!

- Throw him to the ground!

- Why you got my leg?

That's what I thought.

That's what I thought.

- You done made us lose the race.

- I ain't thinkin' about that race.

Why you tryin' to get ahead of me?

Why you tryin'...

Why you lookin'...

I'm first! I'm first!

I think I hurt my corn.

We got a tie, y'all.

Ha-ha, Johnson family! What?

- Kinfolk.!

- Yeah, what's up?

Heard you in California,

'bout to break in that rap game, baby!

- Whoo! 'Bout to get paid!

- Hey!

Let me hold somethin'.

I don't have no money on me right now.

You know? I'm broke.

- You ain't got nothin'?

- Nada.

What about them tennis shoes right there?

What size those?

They're my size.

You trippin'.

Kinfolk!

That's right. You know how we do it

Johnson family style.

It's time to really get our party on now.

Come on, Johnsons!

There's no time to rehearse.

It's time for some Johnson magic.

This is for the trophy.

- The talent show is the tiebreaker event.

- Right.

Destiny and I will do choreography.

But what do we do for costumes?

- Mama, I'll do it.

- What about the music?

I got the music.

- We gon'hit 'em

upside the head with this one.

- Everyone know what they're supposed to do?

- Yeah.!

Okay, Johnson family on three.

- One! Two! Three!

- Johnsons!

- All right, let's go. All right?

- Got it.

All right. Okay.

Big Shaq-style boy.! That's you, Mack.!

- Hey, D.J.!

- You are the mack from way back.!

Mack-a-licious.!

Mack-a-docious.! Mack-tastic.!

You Mack-aroni, dog.!

Mack-adamia.!

You Mack.! Man, you the Mack.!

Their moves are so tight.

I see why they win every year.

Oh, come on, baby. It's nothing.

Look at Mack out there.

Little karate uniform on, lookin'

like Nappy Chan doin' "Try-Bo. "

Come on.

Thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you all.

Hear me when I say it to you.

We do love you.

We love everybody. Got love for you.

No, no.! We do love you all.!

Now, comin' up next is

my baby brother Nate and his family.

Please do somethin'.

Clap or somethin'.

But whatever you do,

Lord, have mercy...

please don't fall asleep.

Love you!

Nate, you sure got your work

cut out for you.

- Nate's back again.!

- Nate's stuff is raggedy.!

What's Nate gon'do?

- What's up, D.J.?

- Let's do this, dog!

- You know they ain't got nothin;!

- All right.

All right, everybody get on board.

This is Nate Johnson.

We are the Johnson family

from Los Angeles.

Gettin' ready to give it to ya

a little somethin' like this.

Watch out, Mack! Ha-ha!

All right, now, Johnsons.

Y'all come on with it now.

Here we go!

That music's feelin' so good right

there! Make me wanna do this right here!

Oh, yeah!

It's Big Nate Johnson!

Gettin' ready to bring it to ya

right here! Here's D.J.!

That's my son right there!

Yeah.! Whoo.!

Whoo!

Didn't I tell you

I could rhyme?

- That's all right!

- We did it!

Here, man, take that.

You can use that, dog.

Okay, y'all, come on!

Okay, y'all,

time to choose a winner.

Good job, man.

Great job.

Good job, man.

Good job.

- Yeah, we beat 'em.

- Okay, y'all.

Now, we the Johnson family...

and y'all know how we do it,

so let's get it on.

- Who thinks Mack's family

won the talent competition?

Calm down. Calm down.

Damn.

How you doin'?

Is she family?

All right, it was close...

but...

Nate's family wins the title!

- Congratulations, son.

- Thank you, Mama.

Oh, Father.

You know what?

I just realized I don't need this trophy

to prove I have a great family.

Here.

The only trophy I need

is these four right behind me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

Long as I got the trophy.

I got the trophy!

Mack. Mack.!

- We got the trophy.!

- Come on, dog. Mack!

Come on, man.

We brothers.

We should be teammates,

not competitors.

- Yeah...

- What do you say?

Yeah, you're right, Nate.

Yes! Yes!

We got it! Come on.

Yes! I got the trophy!

Anyway, you know what?

- I realize that after this victory today...

- Yeah?

Nothing can separate us.

Get out the way, june bug!

Where the truck come from?

Oh, Father!

Oh, Father!

I'm okay, baby.

Oh, Lord, why not me?

Jesus, why not me?

I can't believe this!

This trophy ain't never

done nothin' to nobody!

What did I ever do?

What did I do?

Oh, Father!

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