Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie Page #2

Season #2 Episode #1

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INTERIOR - NIGHT. VEGGIE VAN.

all

AAAHH!

EXTERIOR - NIGHT. WINDING RURAL ROAD.

The van performs some donuts as it continues forward. Much screams. Bob spins the wheel wildly, trying to regain control of the van. The porcupines watch in interest as the "screaming" van spins off the side of the road and heads down a steep wooded hill that leads to a river! Bob steers wildly as the van heads through some brush... the kids in the back scream in terror.

In rapid succession, Bob must avoid a series of obstacles, which Dad calls out like a highly-caffeinated sports announcer.

daD

Tree!!!!

Bob swerves wildly to miss a huge tree. Cut to kids in the back, bouncing up and down and screaming as if they were riding bikes down a flight of stairs.

dad (cont'd)

Cabin!!!!

Bob swerves wildly to miss a small FISHERMAN'S CABIN. He avoids the obstacle, but heads right toward the fisherman's CLOTHESLINE, a sturdy, multi-line job strung with several items of clothing, most prominently, a large pair of polka-dotted boxer shorts.

DAD (cont'd)

UNDERWEAR!!!!!!

Bob can't turn in time, and the van heads right through the clothesline, with the boxer shorts plastered across the windshield. Amazingly, the 5 nylon cords of the clothesline hold tight, and slow the van to a stop like a small plane caught by cartoon power lines. With visible and audible tension, the stretched cords hold the van still at a 45 degree angle on the side of the hill, no more than 20 feet from the river.

intERIOR van -nIGHT

All is still. Kids are silent, in shock. After a moment, Bob turns to look back and says...

boB

Heh, heh... Well I'm glad that's over!

There is a loud "poing!" SFX. Bob asks Dad, who still hasn't moved.

bob (cont'd)

Did you say something?

Another "poing," and now we see what it is. The nylon cords of the clothesline are snapping, one by one.

BOB (cont'd)

(eyes widening)

Oh...

dad

(eyes widening)

... dear...

Poing! Poing! Poing! The last 3 cords snap in rapid succession, and the van lurches toward the river. The kids' eyes widen and they all press back against their seats in unison, and everyone screams like mad!

all

Aaaaaaaaah!!!!!!

eXT. hill -nIGHT

As the van rolls perilously toward the river, a low-angle shot reveals a thick tree stump in its path, about bumper-height, unnoticed by the van's occupants. As they scream and roll ahead, suddenly the bumper meets the tree stump, and the van stops cold, no more than 6 feet from the river

intERIOR. vAN - nIGHT

The tree stump stops the van cold, but also fires both front seat airbags, which inflate and completely engulf Bob and Dad's faces. The screaming dies out. Silence. The kids are afraid to blink. The airbags remain completely inflated, engulfing Bob and Dad who stare into them motionless... wondering if they are dead. After a pause, and not quite sure what has happened, Bob speaks.

bob

(sfx - talking in balloon)

Am I in... heaven?

Beat. There is dust in the air from the airbags.

dad

(sniffs)

Smells like... Wisconsin.

The kids finally let their breath out, and fall back into their seats.

KiDS

(exhale / sigh)

Phew!!!

EXT. RIVERSIDE -NIGHT

LS of the van at the bank of the river. After a pause, the sliding passenger side door opens and we see the veggie kids and dad peeking out into the moonlit night. Dust is settling. Bob pops through the crowd, looks around and exits the van. He looks around a little more.

BOB:

Well. Nobody got hurt!

We hear the flying quill SFX and a doink.

BOB (cont'd)

AAAAHHHH!

BOB looks over his "shoulder" to find a small quill stuck in his behind. We hear high pitched laughing. Dad looks back up the hill and sees the three porcupines standing where the van left the road. This time one of the babies has his back to Bob - as if he were the one responsible for the "shot". His mother and sibling are laughing approvingly.

DAD:

Wow. What a shot!

BOB:

(in pain)

Hrrrgrrr.

JR:

Hey! What's that?

Everyone directs their attention to that which Jr. has observed. It's an old rundown shack under a bridge along the bank of the river. The lights from the building glow eerily, dimly illuminating the surrounding landscape. A Red Neon sign reading "SEAFOO" buzzes. There is a dock attached to the restaurant to which are tied a couple decrepid rowboats and a larger "pirate" type ship (see "The Pirates that Don't do Anything's" ship). A fog rises from the river which overflows onto the land. A FOG HORN sounds and a SHIP BELL rings. An occasional SEAGULL call fills the air. Eerie. Cut back to our group's reaction.

ALL:

(except BOB,)

Oooooh.

ANNIE:

What's "SEAFOO"?

PERCY:

... Maybe it's like... tofu.

DAD:

... Only saltier.

Cut back to the restaurant. A "D" on the end of the sign flickers a few times, revealing the real word, "SEAFOOD".

ALL:

AAAhhhhh.

CUT TO:
Fish

.

FADE IN:

Interior - night. LOBBY of Seafood restaurant

We hear Jr. teasing Laura and Bob scolding Dad as our group comes through the front door of the seafood restaurant. It's set up like a typical Red Lobster with a hostess station and waiting area in the lobby, bathrooms and telephones off to the side and a dining room beyond a clam and lobster montage arch. Jean Claude and Phillipe Pea are the hosts and are standing on the host podium. The walls are filled with every imaginable sea creature - both stuffed and painted. Fishing nets hang. A picture of Ahab and Moby Dick adorns the walls, as well. The atmosphere is very mysterious and "salty." The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything's theme in a "moody/nautical" style is playing over the audio system. Dialogue is occurring simultaneously:

BOB:

Oh yeah? Well, if it wasn't for you we wouldn't be in this mess!

daD

I said I was sorry... I'll do better next time!

BOB:

There isn't gonna be a next time!!

ANNIE:

Mr. Bob?... How are we gonna get to the Twippo concert?

PERCY:

Ya! We're gonna miss the bald bunny song!

BOB:

(very disgruntled)

I dunno!... I don't know about any bald... bunnies...

laURA

Even if we make it to the concert - I can't get in! I lost my ticket!

JR.

Serves you right! It's your own fault for waving it around in my face!!

PERCY:

(singing)

I'm a bald bunny, ain't got no fur I'm a bald bunny, brrr brrr brrr.

ANNIE:

I have to go to the bathroom.

DAD:

You know I'm usually not that clumsy in the car... Usually I'm quite dexterous.

BOB:

Two flat tires. How in the world are we gonna change two flat tires?... Where's the phone?...

PERCY:

(singing)

I'm a bald bunny, looking kinda silly

I'm a bald bunny, feeling really chilly...

lauRA

(mourning)

I lost my ticket!

JR:

(to Laura)

If you hadn't been teasing me with it, we Wouldn't be in this mess, Laura!

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