Joshy Page #7

electrical problem.

It's not much wrong.

Sorry, you're kind of

getting stuck

with the only guy

who doesn't really

enjoy the hot tub.

I hear you, man.

No, but I'll get

your balances just perfect

and you'll be

in this thing in about

an hour with your buddies.

I don't really like

getting in it myself.

You know, just because

of the amount of bacteria

that lives

in warm still water

and, you know, the way

that the kind of heat

breeds a cloud

of disease that just

hovers above it.

Yeah, well,

i guess hot tubs

aren't for everyone.

Yeah, i--

i can agree to that.

- Definitely not for me.

- It was really nice

to meet you.

Do you mind

if I sit here with you

while you work

or-- or would you

rather work alone?

Yeah, whatever

you'd like.

Eric:

Can I take

a picture of you?

Sure.

- So what happened?

- What?

- With, uh,

what's her name?

- Oh, Rachel.

Rachel. What'd she do?

How'd she die?

How'd she do it,

i mean?

Well, um,

she-- she was cooking dinner

for him on his birthday,

and he went down

to the gym

and when he came back,

she was dead.

Pull!

- That's so awful.

- Yeah, it's a bummer.

Her parents are kind of

giving him a hard time.

Why? They think

he did something?

I think it must be hard

to, like,

admit that your child

is sick like that

enough to do something, so...

Oh, god, I can't believe

that I said all that stuff,

- like...

- What stuff?

Just, like,

congratulations,

- and I called her

a f***ing b*tch.

- Oh, don't worry, dude.

Joshy is--

- he didn't even

register it.

- He's like...

- That's what I do,

though, you know?

That's what I do.

I start talking,

and I don't

stop talking.

- How'd she do it?

- Huh?

How'd she do it?

How'd she kill herself?

Oh, I don't know if

that's the best place to...

I gotta know.

I gotta know.

- Well, she...

- I'm just gonna be wondering

about it the whole day,

and I don't want that

to be in my mind.

She asphyxiated herself.

Oh, my god.

Are you kidding me?

What, with a bag?

I don't wanna get

into the details, man.

- I'm starting to feel...

- I gotta know.

- What, with a rope?

- A belt.

- One of his belts.

- Oh, my god, his belt.

Used his belt

to kill herself.

Oh, I'm feeling so weird

in my stomach right now.

- Yeah.

- I feel like I'm

just about to explode.

- My stomach.

- ...This'll be really hard.

- Oh, my stomach.

Greg:

There's no such thing

as time travel.

Everything is gonna

stay the way it is.

You can't

correct anything.

I can't go back

and make anything right.

They told me they were

a good idea to hire

because they're getting

something pretty to look at,

and they'd make us

look cooler than anybody else.

My father

went in a hot tub

and started feeling

something strange

in his leg

and a few days later,

it had grown to a boil

the size of

a ping-pong ball.

And my uncle

just rolled it

with a rolling pin

and when it popped,

pus hit the ceiling.

Wow, a disgusting story.

You should have never

put their pictures

online, Ari!

My marriage is over!

Greg, Greg, Greg.

Adam:
It was 10 years

of being together,

and her main argument

was that she felt

like she'd missed out

on her 20s.

Not entirely,

but in a way that was scary

as she started entering

into her 30s

and just, I guess,

wondered what else

was out there.

Imagine the fun

when you meet

somebody like you

who is fully able

to commit.

- Yeah.

- You'll have something

that you never had

with this other woman,

no disrespect to

what you guys had.

No, you can disrespect her

all you want now.

For now, the question

is just where do I go?

Repairman:

You're gonna be just fine.

...look amazing.

- Amazing, like,

all the time?

- Yeah.

- Yes.

- Jodi.

- Hey, happy birthday,

right?

- Hi.

- Yes, it's my birthday.

- Hey, Jodi.

Hey, thank you.

- Happy birthday to everyone.

- This is Jen and Ali.

- Happy birthday.

- Happy birthday.

- Hi. Oh, okay.

- Hey.

- To my happy birthday.

- Happy birthday.

- Adam!

- This is Ari.

- Jen.

- Hi.

- Hey, how's it going?

- Hi, Adam.

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

- This is Jen and Ali.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Jen.

Adam.

- Can I talk to you

for a second?

- Sure.

Awesome.

- Am I in trouble?

- No.

- Do you want me to sit here?

- Uh, sure, yeah. Why?

Great.

I've been wanting to

apply for this position

for a long time.

I'm-- I'm Adam.

Did-- did Jodi mention me

at all to one of you?

No?

Because we had

a nice little

conversation last night

where she mentioned

that she had a friend

who she felt, like,

might sort of be

the kind of person

who would be interested

in talking to a guy like me.

I'm wondering

if it's you.

Or if it is you?

Guys, we gotta

rally here, okay?

- Energy is low.

- I'm good.

- You're good.

- You're the only one

that's f***ing good

right now, Joshua.

- Yeah.

- But this guy,

comatose Carl,

come on, man.

We gotta get some

drinks in us, all right?

Happy birthday.

- Can I open this?

- Yeah, sure.

Is this a cd mix?

Yes, it is a cd mix.

Does this mean

you have a time machine

back to 1998?

No, I just--

my computer's really old,

so it does have

the capabilities

of burning cds.

You should be more impressed

that I actually found a...

- A cd?

- A blank cd, yeah.

Oh, thank you so much.

- Just my size.

- And that is from

my private collection.

That's a big fatty.

Thank you so much.

It actually is

the loveliest

birthday present

that I ever

could have asked for.

It's very nice.

Looking at the history

of ancient aliens,

you have to imagine

that every visit from them

- kicked off

a major new phase

- oh.

In human advancement.

You know,

and there's examples of it

basically

at every huge leap

that we've taken

as a civilization.

The most notable example,

i guess, that I could reference

- is something like

the pyramids.

- Yeah.

I get it.

You're preaching

to the choir.

There's

just clearly no way

that normal

ancient Egyptians

could have conceived of...

There's no way

that humans

with human hands

can build

f***ing pyramids.

It's crazy.

- I'm gonna go.

- Not only have they

lasted longer

than everything else

that was built around them,

just they're simply not

what anything would have

looked like at the time.

And here's the thing that's

going to blow your mind...

- You like that?

- Yeah, it's nice.

I usually button

in another direction, but...

Shh.

- Are we...

- Shh.

- Almost due

for another one?

- Shh.

We should have gone

to the vineyard.

That's all I asked.

It's, like, people think

i just come up

with these things

arbitrarily,

like, "let's go

to a vineyard." No.

I do the research, okay?

If we'd gone

to the vineyard,

we wouldn't have

eaten mushrooms,

you wouldn't have

lost your f***ing mind.

It's just, like,

people don't listen to me.

All I'm

trying to do is

create a fun,

dynamic weekend.

I did--

i did wanna, um,

tell you

something, though.

Okay.

I didn't get a chance

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