Journey to Saturn

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JOURNEY TO SATURN

No! My beer!

What the hell ...

Dear Denmark. Dear Danes.

In less than 24 hours, the greatest

event in our history will take place:

Kurt Maj's Saturn Expedition!

The purpose is to find

eco-friendly energy resources -

- that will benefit people on Earth

and the Danish welfare state.

We transmit live from Cape Kurt.

But let's have a closer look

at the project's creator: Kurt Maj!

Kurt Maj, tycoon and media kingpin,

is a man of many talents.

Deeply affected by the rapidly

escalating global warming, -

- Kurt Mej has made it his personal

cause to fight for the environment.

And now he is on his way

to the stars - always the pioneer!

You're on ln ten minutes, Per.

How's the sult?

Well, lt's not as cool as the one

l wore for NASA's Mars Misslon.

But then again, l'm not exactly

going on a 48 hour space walk' am l?

You're so cool, Per.

You and me, Per. Forover!

DANlSH UFO ASSOClATlON

ANNUAL CONVENTlON

Per! Per! Per! Per!

And now,

the man we've all been waltlng for:

Lecturer and real-life astronaut:

Per Jensen!

- When the stars beckon ...

- Here we come!

Per! Per! Per! Per!

... that you cannot refuse.

Drop by Earth and let's chat.

l look forward to meeting you.

NAME FlLE:

- Mr. Maj! Over here?

- Showtime!

Dear Denmark. Dear Danes.

ln just a fow hours, Kurt Maj's

Saturn Expedition wlll be a reallty.

What has insplred this heroic deed?

Ever slnce Cape Kurt dlscovered

limltless resources on Saturn, -

- l knew that Denmark would have

to claim exclusive rlghts to these.

lt is therefore of vltal importance

to clalm that planet for Denmark!

lsn't thls preject of greater beneflt

to you than Denmark as such?

Rubbish!

Kurt Maj Enterprlses has flnanced

the preject as a natlonal gift.

- But ...

- lmaglne all those rlches!

lt wlll be the end of taxes,

and the beginning of greater welfare.

Mr. Maj, we have a problem.

Our navlgator has fallen lll.

lt seems to be food polsonlng.

Caused by this

Kurt Maj TV Dlnner.

But he's being treated by the Danish

Medlcal Servlces, so all is well.

- How will we find a new navlgator?

- Go over the list once more.

Try to squeeze lts tummy.

How many do you want?

The crew could have perished

from lack of oxygen or small pox.

Voila! There you go.

- l'll never bathe again.

- No, why start now?

CONTRAC:

- What the hell ls thls?

- Kurt Maj and Denmark need you!

- Say what?

- We need a new navlgator.

- And you're the man for the job.

- Do you want me to go to Saturn?

- Please follow us.

- lt's urgent.

Yes, but ... l haven't got the time

just here and now.

l have lots of plans.

Laundry and TV ... Time ls runnlng.

l'll have to leave. Goodbye.

What's your problem' Jensen?

You are a tralned astronaut, rlght?

When the stars beckon,

l will be thero!

- l guess l could serve my country.

- Perfact!

- We knew we could count on you.

- No problem. l'll just call a cab.

l'll meet you out front ln ten ...

- We have some transportation.

- But l need to go home flrst.

- Go for it, Per!

- l need to cut my toe nalls.

l need to have that board sanded

before l leave, or ...

- Wait ...

- Bye, bye.

Welcome aboard, Per.

Let's have a nlce chat now.

Thls ls our command center.

The best bralns in the nation

are gathered here.

That computer has been programmed

to bring you all the way to Saturn.

So you are just a safety measure.

- What are the chances of a mlshap?

- Zero percent!

Besides, your commander, Skrydsbl,

is a distingulshed soldler.

You wlll not flnd a more steady man.

- You've disgraced the Army.

- You've failed us.

You are a failure, Skrydsbl.

Basra!

THE MlSSlON COMES FlRS

Arne? Where are you?

- Help me, Arne ... Arne ...

- Gerd! Gerd!

Get away from him, you bastards!

l'm comlng, Gerd!

- The reading materlals you asked fer.

- Die, you filthy Al Oaeda combatant!

Skrydsbl ls known to run

a tlght shlp on all of hls missions.

Arne Skrydsbl at your service.

lf l may be so bold as to say ...

- You'll make a great team.

- l promlse you, l wlll not fail ...

lt'll just need to be cleared.

Hold on.

Hello? They're ln the third matrix

of the launch coordinates.

No, ln the third ...

Well, then look at the blnary code!

Susanne speaklng. Rlght, l've heard.

They're looklng for a new navigator.

You want me to ..?

l'll be there right away. Yes!

Susanne, welcome aboard.

As always, a slght for sore eyes.

l'm glad you thought of me.

l've always wanted to go

on a space mission. l'll do my best.

No! Susanne, my sweet ...

You know we can't send you out there.

- Why you are ...

- l'm what?

- l'm your technical dlrector.

- No, ltjust won't work.

You brlghten up the premlses

down here. We've chosen thls guy.

- Per?

- Susanne? We used to be lovers.

- We went to the Astronaut Academy.

- Then you're the perfact team.

Per ls, to put it mildly, not suited

for an expedltlon of this magnitude.

Fiddlesticks.

Per ls a true man of the people.

Per ls a f***ing fraud!

The closest thing he ever got to space

was when we watched Star Wars!

Why do you insist on hirlng the most

lncompetent ldlots for the expedition?

l hope you know

what the flipplng hell you're doing!

l guess someone

ls on the rag today.

Susanne Mortensen speaking,

technical director of Preject Saturn.

l need the exam papers from

Space Academy for a Per Jensen.

Yes, rlght now. Well, then you'll

just have to wake the securlty guard!

TlME FOR LlFT OFF!!

Ladies and gentlemen:

Our beloved Oueen of Denmark ...

and the Prince Consort.

Accompanied

by our dear Prime Minister.

Oh la la.

Exquisite taste, Monsieur.

l'd llke to stress a point here:

l demand strict disclpllne.

As representatlves of Denmark,

we wlll be part of hlstory forever.

Please welcome:
Arne Skrydsbl

and two of Denmarks's finest pilots.

And finally,

the experienced astronaut, Per Jensen.

Here you are, Madam.

Hello, beautlful!

Don'tjust stand there dawdllng, men.

All aboard now! Hup, hup, hup, hup!

Wait! Do l have time to take a crap?

Just a teeny-weeny crap?

A proper hello to you.

l'm Jamil, your cook on thls trlp.

Hl, there. My name is Per

and l'm the new navigator.

- Don't worry, l'll get you to Saturn.

- Come here.

A cheese sandwich wlth jelly and cress

or a Company Sandwich?

lsn't that a Club Sandwlch?

- Hey, lt's alright.

- No, lt's important that l learn.

l flunked the Danish Citizen Test

but lf l work hard on thls trlp -

- and learn to be a real Dane,

they promised me a second chance.

Then l'll bring my famlly up here and

we'll open a classy restaurant. Look!

HOT DOGS:

Howdy ho, space homos!

Yo ho, you two Prlncesses. Now lt's

hot-ass-mothafuckin' party time!

Ole is in charge of supplies.

Here's a bit of hlgh culture

for your Danish Test, Jamll.

lt's German, but we do it much

ln the same way here in Denmark.

- l'm not sure my wifo would approve.

- Come on, man!

Saucy young chicks!

Are those glrls you've been porklng?

You son of a dog! l'll butcher you

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