Joy Ride: Dead Ahead Page #2

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I'll protect you.

- Let's get out of here.

- You wanna check out the barn?

Just what do you have in mind,

mister?

Oh, simply a wholesome appreciation

of early Western rustic architecture.

This place keeps getting

more and more charming.

Come on!

- You're suck a jerk!

- A**hole.

You scared me.

I'm down with the freaky, but-

This is just pushing it.

What is that?

- Wow.

- Our motherfucking salvation!

A 1971 Chevy Chevelle hardtop.

- It's an American classic.

- Dibs!

Oh, no wayl

Breaker, breaker, this is Captain Winky

looking for Pink Taco.

- You out there, R. T.

- Nobody uses C. BIs anymore.

Truckers do.

God is quite literally handing us this

fine automobile. Who are we to deny him?

You are not thinking about taking this car?

What if the owners come back?

We don't really know how long these people

are gonna be gone. They could be on vacation.

Or they could have died in

a freak combine/thresher accident. Who knows?

- I mean, come on.

-

Oh, listen to that purr.

And it's full of gas. Hop in.

Let's take this b*tch for a ride.

Nobody's stealing anybody's car.

-

- At most we're borrowing it.

Exactly. We're gonna borrow it for

a little joyride, which is guaranteed fun.

- I mean, "joy" is built right into that sentence.

- Well, that's grand theft auto.

- And what's the alternative?

- We can't really hang out in that creepy house.

She's right, Mel. We can't be out

in the desert at night.

How about this? We take this car

to the nearest town.

In the morning we'll rent a car, return this one

with cash inside for how much the damage is.

- Right, Nik?

- Yeah, uh-huh. Right.

- Fine.

- Yes!

- I'm riding shotgun.

- You can ride whatever you want.

You got the keys?

Don't worry. We'll stop by Kayla's car and

get the bags. Everything's gonna be okay.

Okay, but I'm leaving my number

in case the owner comes back.

Smart and sensible.

Just like my baby.

- Come on, Mell

- Come on. Let's gol

-

- Let's gol

Come on. Get in.

All right. A II right. Thank you. Okay, so good news.

There's a car rental place in Cedar City

about an hour away. They're holding a car for us.

Oh, good. I called Michelle

to tell her we'd be late.

But I told her we'd meet

her in Vegas tonight.

See, everybody?

That wasn't such a bad little detour, was it?

- Watch your head, Sis.

- Oh. Thanks.

See, this is a ride.

'92 Harley Heritage Softail Classic.

Fishtail carbs,

Corbin seat, and a b*tch pad.

Wow, that's extremely

butch of you, Melissa. No offense.

All right, let me see if I know my fiancee.

You dated a gearhead in high school.

Gary Braddock.

- I thought he was so hot.

- He taught us both how to ride.

I just think he

wanted to hook up a threesome.

And who could blame poor

Gary Braddock for that?

Don't worry.

It never went anywhere.

I just liked to ride his bike.

-

- What the-

F*** you, a**hole!

- Yeah, rage against the machine, motherf***er!

- Son of a b*tch!

F***.

I got me a bodacious case

of beaver fever, that's for sure.

Your old lady finds out,

you'll be off the super slab for good.

About my 18th hour straight.

Oh, my God, is that

Shakespeare we're hearing?

Take it you kids are from out of town,

on your way to Vegas?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Five bucks says she's got two names,

like Amy Sue, or PeggyJo, or-

- Twenty and you're on, harelip.

- Here you go. Best seats in the house.

Thank you. Thank you.

I'm Nik.

I'm Jolene. That's one name,

not two. Guess you lost, pumpkin.

Well, Jolene,

a round of specials, please...

and my third-wave emo punk here

is gonna get the check.

Oh, that's just fantastic.

I'm already paying the bill for the window,

might as well pay for breakfast.

Thank you.|

Uh-oh. Looks like we brought

chum to the shark tank.

Oh, that's romantic.

You're referring to us as piecemeal fish guts.

Look around. We're surrounded by trucker trash.

Just ignore 'em.

They're not bothering us.

- Okay?

- Of course they're not. They know their place.

After all, truckers are just gacked-out speed freaks

whose only hope for companionship...

is a disease-ridden hooker.

Jesus, would you lower your voicel

I bet you I can get one of these convoy wack jobs

to flip their lid and storm out of here.

Come on, gambler to gambler,

give me a chance to win my money back.

You want a bet?

Here. Here's your bet.

- I bet you you won't shut

the hell up for five minutes.

- Five minutes? Six.

How about seven? Ten bucks?

Twenty?

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

You're not gonna cry, are you?

Courtesy flush.

We don't want this place

smelling like a truck stop.

Um, ten bucks

if you guys make out.

And another special.

Oh, that's Bobby's.

Right here. Thank you.

So, you and Bobby can't

stay apart long enough...

to have separate

bachelor/bachelorette parties?

- That's pretty sad.

- Combo parties are in right now...

- especially when the couple has the same friends.

- No, I'm not complaining.

Trust me. I think

it's pretty interesting.

I've always wanted to know what

goes on at a bachelorette bash.

- Can I be the stripper?

- You okay, Mel?

Why is Bobby taking so long?

Cupcake, when we're

together four years...

will you worry about me

when I'm out of your sight for 15 minutes?

Oh, I'll worry about you...

cheating on me.

No, no, no. Give me a little

more credit than that.

I plan on keeping my affairs

completely discreet.

- LikeJames Bond.

- How nice of you.

- Hello?

- I believe you have something of mine.

Sh*t. I think it's him.

- Him who?

- The car.

The car guy?

- Goldilocks? You there?

- Uh-

- Goldilocks?

-

Didn't you come into my place

when I wasn't home...

just like Goldilocks

and the three bears.

Uh, yes. We're really very sorry.

We ran into an emergency, but we're bringing

the car back and money for any damages.

- That's why I left my number.

- No rush.

No rush.

Wouldn't want you

to worry one hair on that...

pretty blonde head of yours.

How did you know

I was blonde?

Lucky guess, Goldilocks.

Yeah, a-a-anyway.

Um, okay.

Thank you for not going to the police.

Oh, I'd never do that.

I expect the same.

I don't understand.

Why would I go to the police?

'Cause now I got

something of yours.

Your boyfriend.

Are they gonna have sex

in the bathroom?

Bobby!

Bobby! Bobby!

Bobby!

Bobby, where are you?

Bobby, are you okay?

He can't come to the phone right now.

He's a little... busy.

Why are you doing this?

Only seems fair.

I told you we were sorry about the car.

We didn't think anybody was home!

It's about more than just the car.

Please don't hurt him.

Aw, too late for that now.

I'm begging you.

You want to see him again?

Alive?

Of course!

Then we got a long road ahead of us.

There's just a couple of things

I'm gonna need you to do for me.

He wants to talk

on some private station or something.

- This is so f***ed!

- Totally f***ed!

- I mean, who is this freak?

- Why would you leave your number?

Are you a complete idiot?

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