Joy Ride

Hello?

Feeling's right, because for the first time,

I see myself through somebody else's eyes.

It was completely claustrophobic.

Big surprise.

Aren't we due for a hell of a downpour?

Hear they had a speed trap set up.

No one ever said

freshman year would go by so fast.

At least Colorado has seasons.

Berkeley is like summer all year.

Am I keeping you on the phone?

No, not at all.

So, what's David doing this summer?

-I don't know. Who cares?

-What?

Sorry I didn't tell you before.

I just felt a little strange.

What? I don't understand.

We broke up.

He's been acting serious and weird.

How? He was getting serious and weird?

I told you what he was like.

Lewis, it's 3:
00 a.m.

I've got a final tomorrow.

I'm sorry. I'll be quieter.

Lewis?

I'm sorry.

So what happened?

He kept looking at me as if, you know...

...he totally thought he knew me,

which he so obviously didn't.

Then he started crying, which...

...sealed the deal.

You made him cry.

I broke up with him. Wouldn't you cry?

Listen, you're cute,

but you're not that cute.

I was kidding.

Well, I'm not in the mood to go home.

I wish I had a car,

then I could just get there gradually...

...and decompress a little bit, you know?

If you had a car,

you could stop by Colorado...

...and pick me up.

We'd have an adventure.

The two of us and a windshield.

I have a car.

No, you don't.

Yeah. Didn't I tell you?

No.

Well, I got one.

-Sexy choice.

-Yeah?

Yeah. Vintage 1971, Chrysler Newport.

I changed plans. I'm no longer flying back.

I bought a car so I'm driving.

By yourself?.

No. Actually,

I was thinking about picking up Venna.

Mom?

Sorry. Sorry. That's great, Lewis.

What's the matter?

Your brother just called.

He was arrested again.

Drunk and disorderly.

Where? ln San Diego?

Salt Lake City.

Don't worry. It's not your problem.

What did Dad say?

You know your dad.

He didn't even want to talk to Fuller.

He said if he hasn't grown up yet,

it's never going to happen.

Fuller.

I know.

I miss him, too.

-Listen, before you start writing anything--

-License, please. Registration.

My brother's in jail.

I haven't seen him in almost five years.

I'm driving 200 miles out of my way

to help him out.

So that U-turn was based

on a whole good-deed scenario.

I'm also writing you up

for a broken taillight.

I have one of those?

I'm aware of how frustrating

the prison system in this country is.

Repeat offenders, the un-rehabilitated.

I watch American Justice with Bill Kurtis.

But I'm different.

I'm reformed. You know, I'm strong.

Officer Wilkins, this is my pledge to you.

You will not be seeing me again.

Two strikes are enough for Fuller Thomas.

You look...

...tall. Taller than me.

How's it going?

A lot better now.

Kid. Goddamn.

You came all the way to Salt Lake

just for me?

Technically, you are still my brother.

Hey, this is my brother.

-Look at you, man.

-Mr. Thomas?

-Thank you for coming.

-You're welcome.

-Thank you.

-Sign out, please.

You're welcome.

Listen, I'm supposed to pick up a friend...

...and I'm running kind of late.

I just wanted to see how you were doing...

...and take you where you need to go

because I need to hit the road.

Where are you going?

Boulder, Colorado. Then I'm going home.

-Perfect. That's great.

-What?

You know, with the exception

of the seat spring piercing my ass...

...this ride is excellent.

So, who are you picking up?

-Venna. She's a friend from back home.

-Wait, the blinker?

That girl from the Heights?

The one who...

...all day long?

-No, you haven't seen her in years.

-You're f***ing her?

What question is more legit than that?

Look, we're just friends, okay?

Okay, you're not f***ing her.

But you want to.

-You don't know what you're talking about.

-I don't?

All right, here's how it is.

She's always dated guys

from the right side of the burbs.

You get your scholarship to Berkeley.

She's off to the University of Colorado.

You don't understand.

You guys have been talking

on the phone a lot.

She realizes you have

the warm fuzzies for each other.

You're not letting on, even though

you scrambled and bought this car...

...just to pick her up. You're still playing

the neutered boyfriend...

...who's always there for her

because you're nice.

So, you're still good?

Do you need me to drive?

No more bullshit small talk about me,

my relationships, or my car.

Okay.

I swear,

I'm barely slowing the car in Denver.

I'll give him a seven-mile-an-hour

chance to jump and roll.

You did your mom a big favor

and she's happy now.

This time tomorrow,

you'll be here with me...

...and you'll have a new level of stress.

Well, I'm going to get going.

I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow.

'Bye.

Downsizing?

The gas company just...

...lets a talented man like you go?

Just like that?

That sucks, man. But this job kicks ass.

You got your trailer. You're working kind

of outside. You got a view.

-What is this?

-CB radio. Olive branch.

-Check it out.

-You put a hole in my car.

I talked him down to $40.

Breaker 1-9, breaker 1-9.

We need a westbound, come on.

You got Black Sheep here

riding front door with...

...Mama's Boy.

We're on l-80, east.

Just wondering if you could see...

...any bears from your rocking chair.

You got a 40-mile clear shot,

except for James Town.

You got yourself a Kojak

with a Kodak at 185.

No cops till James Town.

You're free to speed like a motherf***er

for the next 40 miles or so.

Aren't we due for a hell of a downpour?

We got a 200-mile slipper-slide. Come on.

Doesn't matter.

Not from this rocking chair.

Some people like it when it rains.

It's going to rain hard tonight.

Keeps everybody inside.

What's with this guy?

Howdy! You got Black Sheep here

with Mama's Boy. Who we got? Over.

Can I please get a better handle

than Mama's Boy?

No.

Yo, Rainman, what's your 20?

Can you do a woman's voice?

-What?

-Do a girl? Say...

..."Black Sheep, this is Miss...."

No.

Come on, man.

You did a girl when we pranked....

Mr. Schramm.

-That was good.

-I was nine. That's what I sounded like.

This is like a prehistoric lnternet.

You f*** with someone in a chat room.

It's the same thing.

Forget it.

Come on, man.

Say, "Hey, Black Sheep,

this is Candy Cane."

Just say it. You'll be amazing.

Black Sheep, this is Candy Cane.

I've been looking for you all day.

That was horrible.

Candy Cane, this is Black Sheep.

I'm right on schedule.

Say, "I'll see you later on tonight, honey."

Go, go.

I guess I'll be seeing you later on tonight.

Is that right?

You got it.

I'm pulling over right now.

I'll see your beautiful ass in the p.m.

-What was that about?

-Just wait.

Candy Cane, come on.

I knew it. These guys are so f***ing horny.

Get him going. Get him all worked up.

Then in the middle of it,

say, "Guess what? I'm a dude."

-No way! I can't do that.

-Come on, man! Come on!

It'll be fun.

Come on. Just do it.

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