Joyful Noise Page #6

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How come?

Because half their choir was made up

with paid professionals.

I knew they couldn't be that good.

How'd they get caught?

It was you, wasn't it?

Pacashau thing.

Well, you're darn tooting.

I mean, trying to fool me is like trying

to sneak sunrise past a rooster. Ha-ha.

Those weaselly, no-good cheats.

I tell you, you can't trust no one

outside of the state of Georgia.

How many times I tell you

and your brother that?

What you looking for?

I'm looking for the other choir

who made the finals in our category.

Don't you wanna know

who we going up against?

Maybe you got it wrong, G.G.

No. Got it right here,

Our Lady of Perpetual Tears.

I ain't never heard of them,

and I heard of everybody.

They don't sound like

they'll be a barrel of laughs.

Must be good if they made it to finals.

It don't matter who they are.

Don't change what we do one bit.

We just go to Los Angeles and we do

our very best. That's all we can do.

What? What you two cooking up?

I may not be on the council,

but I am its largest contributor.

And I will see to it we get to the finals

under one condition.

Oh.

And what is that?

You have to do new songs,

and use Randy's arrangements.

It is the right thing to do, Vi.

Our town needs to win.

Please, Mama, for once, don't be stubborn.

You're the only one in the whole choir

who doesn't want to do it.

You're right.

So maybe I should be the one to leave.

Vi.

You'll finally be choirmaster.

I guess you finally got what you wanted.

I guess people really can do

without a hammer after all.

Hi, Miss G.G.

Vi, I had no idea

you had to take another job.

- You have to come back to the choir.

- I'm busy.

I don't know what

you're so ticked off about.

I'm the one that got passed over

for the job.

And now I'm asking you to take it.

You just don't like me, do you?

And you never really have.

Amen, sister.

Well, why? I'd like to know.

Why? Hmm.

Maybe it's the way you undermine me

or the way you tried to blackmail me.

Well, now, that was

a little shortsighted, I admit.

But sometimes a small sin is justified

in the pursuit of a higher purpose.

And that's another thing.

That condescending,

wise-old-owl thing you do.

It must really gripe your ass...

...to know there's somebody

that you can't charm.

"G.G.'s so hilarious, she's so earthy."

Well, I am who I am.

Maybe you were, five procedures ago.

Now you whoever you need to be

to make everybody love you.

"Oh, G.G.'s so larger than life."

Well, it pisses me off.

You want to know what pisses me off?

- Not particularly.

- You are gonna hear it.

- It is your holier-than-thou...

- Oomph!

...pious, rigid...

...self-righteousness.

Who gives a rat's ass

if I've got a few little nips and tucks.

God didn't make plastic surgeons

so they could starve.

But you could use a complete face lift.

I feel fine about myself.

Well, I don't see how you could,

you old, hateful heifer.

Your daughter didn't even come

to her own father's funeral.

You are so convinced your way

is the only way there is.

Infallible, untouchable,

unlovable Vi Rose Hill.

Quit it with those nails,

Edward Scissorhands.

When did you get so old?

You're 40, going on 100.

I'm old? You read the Bible to reminisce.

Ha!

- Yeah, what?

I'm talking about inside, Vi.

You are old inside.

Hmm.

- And I wish, just one time...

...you'd try to see things

from my point of view.

I'd love to see things

from your point of view...

...but I just can't seem to stick my head

that far up my ass.

Oh, you just...

Hey, hey.

- I'm so sick of you, I could puke.

- Ow! Ow!

- What?

You see, I tried.

She hit me with water.

- She hit me with rolls.

- Let go.

You know the rolls

in here are hard as hell.

Stop it. Ow!

- See, get this. Get this.

Well, you're breaking my hair. Would you

stop. It took me a half a day to do this.

- I could tear this hair up right now.

- Ah, don't.

Wouldn't you like that?

Wouldn't you like that, huh?

My doctor does good liposuction too,

if you'd like his card.

- Get this on there.

- I got it.

- Yeah. Put that online.

- Vi Rose.

Wha...?

- Ladies, that's enough. That is enough.

- Ow!

What are we doing?

Well, I'll tell you what I'm not doing,

I'm not coming back to the choir.

Well, Vi Rose, you are fired.

- I'm fired?

- Yes.

You didn't...? Didn't you...? You...?

- This is all your fault.

- No, no. That's enough, that's enough.

Vi.

G.G., we are not going out like this.

Not you, not me and not this choir.

Sweetheart, sometimes you just

have to know when to fold your cards.

Who are you?

You are not my gorgeous grandma.

I know that song.

Yeah, I used to sing it

with your granddaddy.

Then he used to waltz me

around that big old yard.

I know how much you miss him.

God, it's just like my heart

don't beat right any more.

It's like, when he was here,

I felt like I could just do anything.

Not now.

Can I hear the song?

No. It's a duet.

Well, I know it.

God knows I heard it enough times.

I could hold out my arms

Say, "I love you this much "

I could tell you how long

I will long for your touch

How much and how far

Would I go to prove

The depth and the breadth

Of my love for you?

- From here to the moon and back

- From here to the moon and back

- Who else in this world

- Who else in this world

- Will love you like that?

- Will love you like that?

- Love everlasting

- Love everlasting

- I promise you that

- I promise you that

- From here to the moon and back

- From here to the moon and back

- From here to the moon and back

- From here to the moon and back

I want you to know

You can always depend

On promises made

And love without end

No need to wonder

How faithful I'll be

Now and on into eternity

- From here to the moon and back

- From here to the moon and back

- Who else in this world

- Who else in this world

- Will love you like that?

- Will love you like that?

- Forever and always

- Forever and always

- I'll be where you're at

- I'll be where you're at

- From here to the moon and back

- From here to the moon and back

From here to the moon and back

I would blow you a kiss

From the star where I sat

I would call out your name

To echo through the vast

Thank heaven for you

And to God tip my hat

- From here to the moon and back

- From here to the moon and back

And I'll spend forever

Just proving that fact

From here to the moon and back

From here to the moon

And back

You can still do anything.

You're damn skippy.

Just stay for one rehearsal.

Those people worked so hard.

And your ego's letting them all down.

My ego?

Didn't you teach us to never quit?

Look at Walter. He'll have to go through

more than you and I will ever have to.

But he doesn't quit. Not ever.

Well, if you quit now,

you're quitting on God.

What's that supposed to teach him?

Okay. Five, six, seven, eight.

Pah, pah, pah, unh.

Okay, come on, G.G. Here we go.

Unh, unh, unh.

Okay, good. Let's go. Come on, Caleb.

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