Joyful Noise Page #7

---

Earla, you already killed one man.

I got high blood pressure too, you know?

- It's for the Lord, people.

- Pah, pah, pah, unh.

Come on. Yeah.

Pah, pah, pah, unh.

Earla, get your Beyonc out of my face.

It's coming down.

Pah, pah, pah, pah.

Oh, sorry. Just popping for the Lord.

Our band is good,

but they ain't never gonna be great.

Not without some help.

- What do you want?

- You. And your guitar.

You must be out your mind.

I heard you play all my life.

All those summer house-party jams.

You're incredible, Manny.

You know we're going to L.A., right?

Thousands of people in the audience.

Someone could hear you

who might actually matter.

That ain't never gonna happen

in Pacashau.

Okay, stop, stop, stop.

I'm not feeling it, Earla.

Maybe what you need

is something to feel.

Yo, what's up?

Oh!

You're the man.

Oh, yeah, that's easy.

- Whoo-hoo! Woo-hoo!

Mm-hm.

Aah!

This morning, the choir's got something

a little different to sing for y'all.

Oh

Do you know what

What you mean to me?

My world was turning upside down

I would've been so lost without you

You are all that perfect love should be

You came and saved me from myself

You leave him to me.

- This is bigger than a notion

- Notion

- Freely give you my devotion

- Uh-huh

Never thought I'd find someone

Who loves the way you do

- It does so much, I wanna tell it

Uh-huh

Feels so good, I wanna yell it

I surrender everything I am

To you and only you I'm yours

Let me guess,

you didn't like it.

Frankly, I'm surprised at Vi Rose.

Oh, don't blame her. Randy had to drag her

kicking and screaming.

- So it was his doing.

- Well, it was everyone's doing.

The choir goes back to its old style

or I withdraw the competition application.

And as for Randy,

we just can't take a chance.

You don't want Randy in the choir?

There's too much at stake.

I've known that boy his whole life.

- He's just had a couple of bad breaks, is all.

- He kidnapped Olivia Hill.

Oh, they ran away. They came right back.

He completely changed

the way the choir sings.

- Who knows what he'll do next.

- We'll lose, Pastor.

Why, I love those old songs

better than anybody.

I helped Bernie write them.

But Randy's right,

we gotta shake them up.

Without being sponsored by a church,

you cannot perform.

Those are competition rules.

Well, you withdraw your support...

...you leave me no choice

but to withdraw my support.

If you know what I'm saying.

He's my family.

Well, I suppose you'll have to follow

your conscience...

...and I'll follow mine.

Oh, I shushed those loud boys

during your sermon.

I told them people were sleeping.

California, here we come.

I don't know why we're even bothering

without Randy.

And singing those old arrangements.

- Ugh.

- Ugh.

You all right?

It seems like God's using me

for target practice these days.

Makes it kind of hard to feel the spirit.

Caleb, he is God.

If he wanted to shoot you,

he wouldn't miss.

Heh, trust me,

you'll feel his spirit again.

And when you do, you'd better look out.

What's going on? Did you just hit me?

You were snoring.

So? I got a lot to snore about.

Where you going?

To the bathroom.

With your shoes on?

Get back in the bed.

Olivia Hill, don't you walk out that door.

I'm not a kid any more.

Only kids say that.

You make me run,

it'll be the last thing you do.

Can you actually believe I'm gonna

let you wander the streets by yourself?

- Something could happen to you.

- Like you care.

- And what is that supposed to mean?

- It means you hate me.

Anybody would think you were dropped

on your head. Get back in that room.

You do. You hate me. Don't deny it.

Now, I know it feels like Randy

is the sun and the moon...

...and the stars all wrapped up

in one right now but, baby, look around.

Nobody ends up with the boy they liked

when they were 16. You'll get over him.

This isn't about that.

I told him I don't want to see him any more

because you made me.

This is about me.

- Why do you think I hate you?

- Lots of reasons.

- Name one.

- Because I'm pretty.

- Heh, excuse me?

- Don't bug your eyes out at me.

You hate that I'm pretty,

because you don't feel pretty.

I defended you to Randy.

But now, I'm just trying to cut through

the bullshit, Mama. Once and for all.

You know how sad that is?

For you to feel that way about yourself?

You are the only one

you hate more than me.

No matter how much you sing

that church music...

...God doesn't seem interested

in helping you out with that.

Don't you bring God into your ugly,

petty, adolescent bullshit.

That's right, I can cuss too.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

It's lazy and it has no class,

but it's not hard.

- You think I'm not pretty?

- I didn't say that.

I am an incandescent, board-certified

supermodel, baby.

I happen not to flaunt it

because I am a married woman...

...and I would never disrespect my husband

the way you just disrespected your mother.

But beautiful as you are,

and you are very, very beautiful...

...I would hang mirrors all over my house

if I could, just to look at myself.

I'd put one on the refrigerator just to

watch myself eat all of them calories.

And if I gave myself a heart attack from

all that food, I'd just give myself CPR.

Because I'm a nurse.

That's right, I save lives.

And that is not bullshit.

Now I am through talking to you

for the foreseeable future...

...so my advice to you would be to get your

little narrow behind back in that room...

...get back in that bed, and you treat my

snoring like it is a Marvin Gaye love song.

That's right, you respect my snoring.

Because it comes from exhaustion.

From working hard to put food in you

and your brother's stomachs...

...and every stitch of clothes

on y'alls' backs.

Get in that room.

You didn't have to stay behind for me.

Oh, I didn't.

I'm ying out with the pastor.

I don't think I could do three days cooped

up in a bus with those hot messes.

But I'm not done yet. I've been calling

every church in this town...

...trying to see if I can get

somebody else to sponsor us instead.

- And?

- Well, no luck so far.

I keep trying to think

what your granddaddy might do.

He'd probably say not to put yourself

through this any more.

I mean, he loved that church,

but he loved you more.

What'd you just say?

I said he loved that church,

but he loved you more.

He loved that church,

but he loved me more.

Bernie, you old son of a Baptist.

I read you loud and clear. Ha-ha.

I know what to do.

- Stop.

- I know what to do.

I know what to do.

Really?

We're in Los Angeles. There's the sign.

Hey, good morning, Pastor.

What are you doing here?

- What's that?

- Well, it's Randy's ticket...

...to the Joyful Noise finals.

It's the certificate

for the establishment of a church.

That's right.

Did you know that anyone can become

legally ordained as a minister?

You can do it online,

just takes five minutes.

Rate this script:3.7 / 3 votes