Juno Page #21

LEAH:

Keith's hot.

JUNO:

Eww, he's all beardy!

We see KEITH the teacher talking to some science kids in the

background. He has a Wild America beard. He lifts a cup of

coffee to his lips and slurps lustily.

BACK ON JUNO AND LEAH:

LEAH:

Did you hear Bleek is going to prom

with Katrina De Voort?

JUNO:

Katrina? Pfft, no way. He doesn't

like Katrina. It must be a pity date.

LEAH:

(shrugging)

He asked her. I heard they were going

to Benihana, then the prom, then to

Vijay's parents' cabin.

JUNO:

Bleeker told me Katrina's whole house

reeks of soup!

LEAH:

Oh, it totally does. I was there for

her birthday about four years ago

and it was like Lipton Landing. But

you know, boys have endured worse

things for nookie.

JUNO:

There's no way in hell they're having

sex or even holding hands.

LEAH:

I wouldn't be so sure about that. He

did it with you. He's a man now.

JUNO:

Yeah, well, Bleek trusted me. We're

best friends.

LEAH:

Are you jealous? I thought you said

you didn't care what he did.

JUNO:

I'm not jealous, and I don't care. I

just know he doesn't like Katrina

and I don't think he should toy with

her emotions like that. She seems so

nice and all.

LEAH:

Okay Juno, I'm really convinced.

JUNO:

Prom is for wenises, anyway. Once

you're old enough to go, it's not

cool anymore.

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - BLEEKER'S LOCKER - DAY

Bleeker retrieves a book from his open locker. Juno marches

up to him, belly leading the way.

JUNO:

Are you honestly and truly going to

prom with Katrina De Voort?

BLEEKER:

Um, hi?

JUNO:

Leah just told me you were going

with her.

BLEEKER:

Yeah, I did ask her if she wanted to

go. A bunch of us from the team are

going to Benihana, then the prom,

then Vijay's parents' cabin.

Juno is clearly AFFRONTED.

BLEEKER:

(meekly)

We're getting a stretch limo.

JUNO:

Your mom must be really glad you're

not taking me.

BLEEKER:

You're mad. Why are you mad?

JUNO:

I'm not mad. I'm in a f***ing great

mood. Despite the fact that I'm

trapped in a fat suit I can't take

off, despite the fact that everyone

is making fun of me behind my back,

despite the fact that your little

girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in

art class yesterday...

BLEEKER:

Katrina's not my girlfriend! And I

doubt she was actually giving you

the stinkeye. She just looks like

that all the time.

A GIRL strides past (obviously KATRINA) with a sour look

aimed squarely at Juno.

JUNO:

Whatever. Have fun at the prom with

Soupy Sales. I'm sure I can think of

something way more cool to do that

night. Like I could pumice my feet,

or go to Bren's dumb Unitarian church,

or get hit by a ten-ton truck full

of hot garbage juice. All those things

would be exponentially cooler than

going to the prom with you.

She starts to walk away.

Bleeker takes a deep breath.

BLEEKER:

You're being really immature.

JUNO:

(turning around)

What?

Bleeker BRACES himself and pushes up his lab goggles.

JUNO:

That's not how our thing works! I

hurl the accusations and you talk me

down, remember?

BLEEKER:

Not this time. You don't have any

reason to be mad at me. You broke my

heart. I should be royally ticked at

you, man. I should be really cheesed

off. I shouldn't want to talk to you

anymore.

JUNO:

Why? Because I got bored and had sex

with you one day, and then I didn't,

like, marry you?

BLEEKER:

Like I'd marry you! You would be the

meanest wife of all time. And anyway,

I know you weren't bored that day

because there was a lot of stuff on

TV. The Blair Witch Project was on

Starz, and you were like, "Oh, I

want to watch this, but we should

make out instead. La la la."

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