Juno Page #4

MR. TINKER

People! We're doing our photomagnetism

lab today, so find your partner and

break out into fours.

Juno looks up and meets eyes with her longtime lab partner:

Bleeker. Sound the gong of awkwardness!

Juno and Bleeker head separately over to an available lab

station and unpack their bags in silence.

JUNO:

Well! Nothing like experimenting.

BLEEKER:

I did the prep questions for this

lab last night. You can copy my

answers if you need to.

He slides a piece of graph paper in front of Juno without

looking at her.

JUNO:

Oh, I couldn't copy your work.

BLEEKER:

But you copy my work every week.

JUNO:

Oh yeah. I'm kind of a deadbeat lab

partner, huh?

BLEEKER:

I don't mind. You definitely bring

something to the table.

JUNO:

Charisma?

BLEEKER:

Or something.

The other two LAB PARTNERS, a humorless couple, join them at

the station.

JUNO:

So, who's ready for some

photomagnificence?

GIRL LAB PARTNER

I have a menstrual migraine, and I

can't look at bright lights today.

GUY LAB PARTNER:

Amanda, I told you to go to the

infirmary and lie down. You never

listen.

GIRL LAB PARTNER

No Josh, I don't take orders. Not

from you and not from any man.

GUY LAB PARTNER:

You know, you've been acting like

this ever since I went up to see my

brother at Mankato. I told you,

nothing happened!

GIRL LAB PARTNER

Something happened. Because your

eyes? Are very cold? They're very

cold, Josh. They're cold, lying eyes.

GUY LAB PARTNER:

What? My eyes are not lying!

GIRL LAB PARTNER

Yes they are, Josh. Since Mankato,

they have been lying eyes.

Juno and Bleeker observe the argument like tennis spectators,

fascinated by the dynamics of a real couple.

BLEEKER:

Okay... I'm going to set up the

apparatus. Juno, want to get a C

clamp out of that drawer?

GIRL LAB PARTNER

I'm going to the infirmary.

GUY LAB PARTNER:

Good. Call me when you're OFF the

rag.

GIRL LAB PARTNER

Fine. Call me when you learn how to

love just one person and not cheat

at your brother's college just because

you had four Smirnoff Ices and a

bottle of Snow Peak Peach flavored

Boone's!

GUY LAB PARTNER:

Good, I'll be sure to do that, Amanda.

I'll make a note of it.

He furiously scrawls a fake memo in his notebook.

JUNO:

Snow Peak Peach is the best flavor

of Boone's. Right, Bleek?

Bleeker reddens and continues constructing the apparatus.

GIRL LAB PARTNER stalks off dramatically.

Bleeker shakes his head and rifles through his textbook.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - JUNO'S BEDROOM - AFTERNOON

Juno examines a large ad in the newspaper that depicts a

distraught TEEN GIRL clutching her head in a moment of staged

conflict. The ad reads: "Pregnant? Find the clinic that gives

women choice. Women's Choice Health Center."

Juno picks up her hamburger phone and dials. For a moment,

she attempts to copy the melodramatic pose from the ad,

checking herself out in the mirror.

JUNO:

(talking along with

voice prompt)

"Para instruciones en Espanol, oprima

numero dos."

She presses a few buttons in succession.

JUNO:

Yes, hello, I need to procure a hasty

abortion?... What was that? I'm sorry,

I'm on my hamburger phone and it's

kind of awkward to talk on. It's

really more of a novelty than a

functional appliance.

She SMACKS the phone a couple of times.

JUNO:

Better? Okay, good. Yeah, as I said,

I need an abortion, two... sixteen...

Um, it was approximately two months

and four days ago that I had the

sex. That's a guestimate. Okay, next

Saturday? Great.

She hangs up the phone.

JUNO (V.O.)

I hate it when adults use the term

"sexually active."

INT. HEALTH CLASS - DAY (FLASHBACK)

A HEALTH TEACHER in slo-mo puts a condom on a banana.

JUNO (V.O.)

What does that even mean? Can I

deactivate someday, or is this a

permanent state of being? I guess

Bleeker went live that night we did

it. I guess he hadn't done it before,

and that's why he got that look on

his face.

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